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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to cut these friends off

4 replies

Daisychainsintherain · 07/09/2024 19:46

Long story short ive a group of 8 friends from school that ive remained close to for the past twenty years. Over time we've tried to have regular meet ups, we've all had kids and have arranged playdates and birthday parties over the years. As the kids have gotten older and made their own friends in school etc the meet ups have got less and less. Out of the 8 im particularly close to 3 and we meet up for adult only times, the others seem to have their own group and have met up etc. ive noticed for the last year or two when I post in the group chat the other 4 rarely respond but yet when one of them post we all 8 write something back. This became apparent with first day back to school photos, some pictures got a lot of comments mine just from my close 3. Recently there's been talks of an expensive trip away and I honestly dont feel I want to go with the large group as I dont feel close to them. Ive checked and the last time ive received an individual text from them that wasn't prompted by me messaging them first was over a year ago for some. Im at the stage were I just feel like they aren't really my friends and im just there for numbers in the group, AIBU to just cut them out and focus on my real friendships? Should I just make excuses for the big trip and then get a smaller one organised with the 3 close friends?

OP posts:
FuzzyDiva · 07/09/2024 19:52

You should always just focus on your real friends and it’s quite normal and ok to outgrow childhood friendships.

Fairyliz · 07/09/2024 19:56

Well if you don’t want to go on the big trip then make your excuses.
However if you would like to arrange some other meet up I would still put it in the group chat so people can attend if they want to.
If you don’t see them often you don’t know what they may be going through and it would be mean to exclude people.

Maria1979 · 07/09/2024 20:03

Stick to the friends who make you feel good and who you communicate with.

Bearybasket · 07/09/2024 20:48

Yanbu to not go on the holiday if you don’t think you’d enjoy it but cutting them off is rather overdramatic. You’ve just grown apart a bit, it’s not a personal insult.

Plus if your 3 close friends still get along well enough with them to want go on holiday with them cutting them off entirely may detrimentally affect your relationship with those 3

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