Child Maintenance

[ClearDiamond82]

If your ex is self-employed and hasn't paid child maintenance for the last 3 weeks due to not going to work and going on holiday, does he have to pay the back dated payment's of £50 a week when he goes back to work?

I did start with CM as he wasn't paying a penny. When they sent him letters and phoned him he panicked an asked if me if we could sort it out between ourselves, so I said yes 🤦‍♀️.

Then tell him unless it's regular payments you'll go through the CMS.

I understand the need to try and co-parent in a positive way, but he's taking the piss which isn't positive at all is it!

Unless it's through CMS he doesn't legally have to pay anything.

I sympathise as I am in a very similar situation.

Actually just go via CMS anyway

I don't know why I trusted he's word. He knows I suffer with depression and anxiety so I just wanted to be civil about it. I think it's best if I just go through CM an get them to collect it for me from now on, if that means he's got away without paying for 3 weeks then that's my own fault as I should of just stuck with the CM collecting it.

If it’s a private arrangement between the 2 of you there’s nothing you can do. About the money he currently owes if he won’t pay up.

Go back to CMS and do it all officially- even if you don’t get as much out of him as you should, there will be a paper trail of what is owed and they have more chance of holding him to account than you do. Perhaps most importantly, he doesn’t have the same hold over you as he currently does.

Don’t let him manipulate you again.

That's what I feel like now, that he's got some sort of hold over me an can pay when he likes 🤦‍♀️. I'm going to contact CM an just go through them now.

Be care of he’s self employed, you may find he gets either a nil assessment or £7 a week assessment.

it will go off his last tax return, and it’s what he’s declared on it that the amount will be calculated on.

if he’s a limited company, then make sure you request a variation order as soon as the payments have been worked out as it will only go off his PAYE and not his dividends.

most people with a limited company pay themselves 12,500 a year through the PAYE and the rest through dividends. CMS calculation is only done on PAYE when they’re a limited company so you could be missing out on thousands by not requesting a variation which will include any dividend payments he takes.

Don’t know why people are having a pop at the op, he is self employed she probably won’t get anything through cms! Doubt she will get anywhere near £50 a week if he’s self employed.

He should pay you when he’s on holiday and when you go on holiday. A normal person would have set a weekly direct debit so he didn’t forget or have to think about it but some people love the drama of pissing off people.

He doesn't forget, he knows when he's meant to pay for his son which is every Friday

Making out like the op is stupid for agreeing payments between them 🙄 she’s sensible If she had gone through cms she will be lucky to get anything

I just never understand these threads.

The moment a man isn't paying or stops paying a penny I'd be straight onto the CMS.

Why on earth would you trust a father who has a history of not paying for his child, to pay for his child of his own volition?

That was a big mistake. Go back to CMS. That's their job to ensure your ex doesn't pull crap like this.

Because given he's self employed she's likely actually got a better chance of getting money off someone who has been paying off and on than CMS getting anything.

It's very well known they are hopeless with self employed parents.

Hopefully the panic was because there is a decent amount in his tax return (many SE don't care about threats as they know CMS are hopeless with them).

Just be aware of how difficult if can be to get CMs to take a fair amount from a self employed NRP.

No, I don’t think the OP is stupid at all. I think her ex is feckless, manipulative cunt who knows the mother of his child well enough to know what buttons to press and how to get his own way with her. It’s really not uncommon and doesn’t make OP stupid in any way. In fact, my ex tried this whole dodging CMS with me more than once. He had to do this by email and not phone or in person because we doesn’t have my number and I don’t see him (he is abusive). This tactic would almost definitely have worked on me otherwise. With email I can ignore him for as long as it takes me to calm down and reply in a way I like. In person, I’d fold.

@ClearDiamond82 honestly, no judgement from me, navigating this stuff is difficult.