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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Worried for neighbours welfare!

28 replies

Howyouudooin · 07/09/2024 03:26

Hey everyone.

First post, but looking for some advice as unsure what to do.

I havent seen my neighbour and her kids for between 2-3weeks. One of the kids is probably 7/8 and the other is a baby, probably 7months or so. Summer holidays is over so would be a strange time to go away??? Surely?
Eldest has possibly been missing school?? We havent heard a peep from anybody. Its not like my neighbour and Im not sure wether to be concerned or not? They are not quiet people.

I have my suspicions that her partner is a drug dealer, he isnt on the tenancy, unemployed, drives a flash car, is out all hours of the night for short trips. This goes on constantly.

They fight like mad, it gets very hostile, police called on a few occasions.

So tonight I came home to find about 6maggots sporadically crawling by my front door and in the living room (flat). Two in the communal hallway. No flies have been in my flat, its clean, no food. Im finding it hard to understand where they may have come from??

The partners car hasnt been at the property either all this time.

Do I need to request a welfare check, or contact social services??

Should I wait a few more days in case they have gone away?

OP posts:
ThinWomansBrain · 07/09/2024 03:28

are there any unusual smells?

TipsyMaker · 07/09/2024 03:28

I've voted you are being unreasonable because I'd definitely be requesting a welfare check from police/social services. I wouldn't be speculating about partner being a drug dealer though unless you have evidence

offyoujollywelltrot · 07/09/2024 03:37

Jesus Christ, call the police!

Original poster
Howyouudooin · 07/09/2024 03:41

ThinWomansBrain · 07/09/2024 03:28

are there any unusual smells?

The communal hall does smell muskier than usual yes, i cant really say what it smells of. Its the maggots that had me.

i dont know if im jumping to conclusions here, she could be away and left her rubbish but it just doesnt seem like something she would do. Her boys been off school all this week as no ones been in or out of the property.

im not sure what to do?

OP posts:
blueberrycherubandbump · 07/09/2024 03:41

Hmm I call bullshit. No one suspects their neighbour is dead and then decides to join MN as their first action.

onfiree · 07/09/2024 03:42

I havent seen my neighbour and her kids for between 2-3weeks. One of the kids is probably 7/8 and the other is a baby, probably 7months or so. Summer holidays is over so would be a strange time to go away???

It’s not a strange time to go away at all. She could be staying with family or at a refuge especially if she’s in a volatile relationship. That isn’t season-dependent?

Surely?
Eldest has possibly been missing school??

It’s been a week of no school at best, plus different schools have different start times, plus you don’t know if she’s moved them
out and they are attending.

We havent heard a peep from anybody. Its not like my neighbour and Im not sure wether to be concerned or not?

There’s no smoking gun here I’m afraid…

I have my suspicions that her partner is a drug dealer, They fight like mad, it gets very hostile, police called on a few occasions.

Did you call the police and if so, what advice did they give you? Have they told you to keep an eye out?

So tonight I came home to find about 6maggots sporadically crawling by my front door and in the living room (flat). Two in the communal hallway. No flies have been in my flat, its clean, no food. Im finding it hard to understand where they may have come from??

Literally anywhere? Buying a new houseplant or just having the window open could cause this. It would be more compelling evidence if maggots were at their front door.

The partners car hasnt been at the property either all this time. Do I need to request a welfare check, or contact social services?Should I wait a few more days in case they have gone away?

if you genuinely think they’ve been harmed, call the police. It’s their decision what to do with your information.

Edingril · 07/09/2024 03:43

You know you should call the police rather than dripping bits on here

It would be quicker to call them than to speculate and appear to be attention seeking

Evergreen90 · 07/09/2024 03:45

Do you have her number? Can you go and knock? Otherwise as others have said, you request a welfare check

Original poster
Howyouudooin · 07/09/2024 03:46

TipsyMaker · 07/09/2024 03:28

I've voted you are being unreasonable because I'd definitely be requesting a welfare check from police/social services. I wouldn't be speculating about partner being a drug dealer though unless you have evidence

Thankyou tipsymaker.

sorry i wasnt trying to speculate, It has been overheard in very heated past arguments. Thats how bad it has been.

OP posts:
Original poster
Howyouudooin · 07/09/2024 03:51

Sorry guys not trying to drip bits. Im so sorry!

genuinely wanted to know if i should get a check requested as i feel like it would be terrible if someone had broken in and she was actually away. I just saw the maggots in my flat and the halls and i was a little bit worried.

she hasnt told me anything.

i am going to do this now!
thankyou!!!

OP posts:
MelainesLaugh · 07/09/2024 03:57

Are the police checking up on her?

NiftyKoala · 07/09/2024 04:02

Calling the police is right definitely. Missing and maggots are a terrible sign. You are doing the right thing.

VeganStar · 07/09/2024 04:04

Awful situation but do they have pets that could have been left unattended in the flat that have possibly died.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 07/09/2024 04:07

Call the police (101). Why you haven't done that already is baffling

glitches78 · 07/09/2024 04:10

I would call the police for a welfare check say what you've said on here. Better to be wrong than right x

HoppingPavlova · 07/09/2024 04:15

2-3 weeks, 3 dead bodies and just a vague ‘musty’ smell. Unless you are living in the Arctic where their bodies will have been well refrigerated, NOPE. They’d be well ripe and you couldn’t miss the smell of 3 of them. More likely they have left some garbage in the place before going which is attractive some flies?

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 07/09/2024 04:17

Call police....

I'd say something like.. I think there is domestic violence next door. I'm concerned for my neighbor and her young kids.

I haven't seen her for x days which is unusual as kids are usually in school.
So this is out of character for her. There are also maggots crawling in communal hallway.

Could you do a welfare check on this family... And please do this anonymously given this man's violence.

The police can contact all sorts of other folk to check (like hosp etc).

ncforcatquestion · 07/09/2024 04:28

I hope she's ok

Noodlehen · 07/09/2024 04:35

i agree that the “evidence” would probably be more compelling if anything sinister had happened.

MidnightPatrol · 07/09/2024 10:30

I think I’d knock first a couple of times (with some random excuse of something you wanted to ask about / is this your parcel or similar)…

… and if no success ask for a welfare check.

My friend had a neighbour where they noticed rubbish had stopped being put out. No answer when knocking. They had indeed died.

Thistooshallpass24 · 07/09/2024 11:01

@Howyouudooin so what is the outcome? If you requested a welfare check in your maybe dead neighbours the police would have been by now

SleepyRich · 07/09/2024 11:27

You'd notice a strong smell, certainly at the letterbox before magots. Are you essentially thinking that he's murdered her in the property, left it a few days for magots to come, then as he's carried the body out magots have dropped out in the hallway? I would expect the body would have been well taped up in bin bags etc so unlikely to be anything dropped in hall. If she's still inside decomposing any magots etc tend to be quite localised to the body/not spreading out all over the place.

It can often take in the region of 24 hours for a welfare check - police and ambulance service bounce the call between them arguing whether it's more a medical problem (i.e. is she dead) or is it more of police problem/investigating criminal act. Either way the property tends to be the lowest as the reports are vague.

Ambulance service tend to lose the argument and eventually respond (we have a higher duty of care) - however we can't force entry (well I would if i saw someone through the window clutching out breathing their last but it would literally be something like throwing the oxygen cylinder at the window. So if doors are locked and no one answers we then bounce it back to either fire or police who can force entry - fire are very speedy and can drill & replace locks so minimal damage - police again you can be waiting several hours (if we can see a body things get better and general response is an hour).

The huge majority of the time these calls come to nothing- lots of head scratching and no sign of person/or we knock and they answer straight away nothing amiss and we're left wondering whether the caller actually tried knocking before calling 999. In had 2 of these calls recently - one was essentially - "i've not seen my neighbour for about 3 months now, i used to take the bins out for them but there's never anything in them" - husk of what was a person found. The other was the opposite end "my mums not answered her mobile for 24 hours now, i know somethings happened i can see her mobility scooter through the window she can't leave the house with out it - floods of tears" - she had a brand new very secure lock and door/composite fire couldn't drill it - tried knocking it through which damaged the frame but still wouldn't open and resorted to one of their massive saws and cut a person sized hole in the door - we looked everywhere fully expecting a body but absolutely no sign, we checked loft/cupboards/under beds definitely not there. Fire screwed a board over the front door to secure it, I was just finishing the paperwork/told daughter to report missing persons to police - when a taxi pulled up - with the patient quite inebriated - she was furious about what had happened to her almost new door!!!

tensmum1964 · 07/09/2024 13:46

Better safe than sorry.

TipsyMaker · 09/09/2024 23:07

Any news @Howyouudooin?

SaffronsMadAboutMe · 09/09/2024 23:10

blueberrycherubandbump · 07/09/2024 03:41

Hmm I call bullshit. No one suspects their neighbour is dead and then decides to join MN as their first action.

I'm inclined to want to believe you but having been on MN as long as I have, sadly it's difficult.