Should I just put up with stuff.

[Northumberlandgirl]

Been out for our anniversary dinner tonight. Happy to have a couple of glasses of Prosecco while getting ready to go out. On way to restaurant and oh wants a drink in his favourite bar. Get to restaurant and order food and more wine.
next table someone has a birthday. Great the lights are turned down, everyone joins in. These are 49 something women not kids.
The birthday music stays loud, very very loud, 15 minutes passes , the staff are busy. I ask them to turn it down, as I can’t converse with my oh. They do happily and apologetically.
oh is furious. Shouldnt have asked.should have just put up with it.
it was my night out too. Haven’t had a meal out in ages. Was I unreasonable to ask for the music to be turned down.
he has form for this. Hates to complain.

He needs to grow up, and also put you before others. Hope he hasn't completely ruined your night.

It was a completely reasonable ask

Sounds like you've both gotten edgy after a drInk and just need a sleep.

He was furious because you asked the music to be turned down? What a milquetoast. Totally unattractive.

You did nothing wrong, and the restaurant should have been mindful of all customers, not as if the birthday party had booked out the whole place!
If OH can’t see that, and didn’t support you in your request, then I can see why you’d be disappointed. Sounds like there may be some unresolved underlying issues between you, but only you know whether it’s a big enough problem to make you both sit down and sort it

YANBU

Well done for having a polite word.

So many Mumsnetters would've started a thread about it there and then and said bugger all to the staff, because they don't like 'confrontation' 🙄

Or they would've started a thread when they got home, citing that they were too 'shocked', 'stunned', 'gobsmacked' to speak to the staff.

Personally it's not something I'd have done, if the restaurant was full and no one else seemed to have a problem I'd read it from that. However him being furious is pathetic.

His cringjng fury at your simple and reasonable action shows him in a very bad light. He needs to grow up, and he needs to have your back.

Do you often complain , is your tone polite?

I've just learned a new word - milquetoast! I had to Google. And yes, op, I think you made a perfectly reasonable request! Your husband probably attracted more attention with his obvious anger towards you. Hope he's not generally like this.