Baby making

[chocolatelips]

How often should a couple trying to have a baby be having sex?
My husbands libido is lower than mine and he has told me off severally about not wanting to have sex when I have initiated it.
So nowadays I rarely initiate it.
We are trying to have a baby and on counting we only have sex maximum 5 times in a month.
Is this normal and is there any chance of success with some months where we have sex thrice in a month.

AIBU to want it more frequently?

You can get sticks to pee on with smiley faces and then you only have to have sex when the face smiles or something. Not entirely sure of the details

Well, some people will get pregnant immediately so yes, that will be fine for some.

But for most the recommendation is to have sex every other day.

What do you mean ‘told you off’?

You can get fertility monitors online

Everyday or every other day, 5 days prior to ovulation is the best time frame.

Detect Fertile Days - Clearblue

When I say he told me off , I mean that I started touching him and he said " I've told you before that I cannot have sex daily" - not that I wanted it daily but just 2 days in a row.

I felt very hurt and dressed myself up on both occasions feeling very embarrassed.
Since then, 1 year ago I have only initiated it once.

There’s no quicker way to kill your sex life than make it all about getting pregnant

Every other day in the week before you ovulate and a few days after is fine. Use clear blue fertility sticks.

You do have to work as a team when ttc for a long time though (and having a child together) so maybe its worth getting to the bottom of why only he is allowed to initiate sex?!

@chocolatelips

id get back on contraception, take some time to seriously think about whether this is a relationship you're going to be happy in for life.

it sounds a bit miserable, sex wise, at least.

Use ovulation kits or get some ovulation apps on your phone and concentrate on having sex then. My libido is much lower than my husbands w e maybe do it once a week, but when trying to conceive concentrated on when I was ovulating.

Are you sure this is the man you want babies with?

It can take any period of time to conceive.

It took 5 years for my partner and I to conceive our little one. However we went away for and I’m pregnant with our second child.

The worst thing you can do is make it solely about baby making. It becomes draining and a chore, try to make it fun and have sex around the week you are ovulating or even after your period has finished.
you can buy ovulation tests that you pee on they tell you your ovulation window with a little smiley face I don’t know how reliable they actually are but I used them and conceived my little one after that.

Also putting stress on yourself and your partner won’t help either.

make time to try but make it fun for you both, communication is key. You don’t need to have sex every day or multiple times a day to conceive.

I would also try and have a conversation to get to the bottom of why he is only allowed to initiate sex and that’s not really the ideal situation to be in. It should be a mutual thing.

What's the rest of your marriage like?