Would these messages between a partner & their friends upset you?

[AtHomeWithBug]

WhatsApp group of multiple friends, discussing something to do with the step children of another friend and an annoyance in that regard.

Cue lots of talk of how rubbish it is having step children, having "random children" in your house etc. There was talking of how none of them would do X Y or Z for kids that weren't theirs, wouldn't pay for this or that etc..

Would it upset you if your partner was part of this group and didn't say anything to the contrary of the above although didn't outright say anything awful either?

Nah it wouldn't upset me.

I'd just assume he didn't want to get into a discussion about it, and they're all entitled to their own opinions anyway.

Most men don't say anything when a woman is being harassed/assaulted right in front of them... so staying silent when friends are being mean/stingy/rude/immature shouldn't come as a surprise.

However, I personally think that you are the company you keep so it would make me question whether my partner's friends would encourage or influence him to shirk responsibilities.

"Random children"? Children who just showed up at random, by chance, unconnected in any way with the adults involved? Who just dropped out of the sky? It would make me want to shout out, "These are your partner's offspring, idiots. If you can't deal with that fact, don't get seriously involved with the parent."

No, wouldn't upset me at all if my partner kept quiet when a conversation like this went on.

No as long as they didn’t join in with the bashing I wouldn’t be upset if they stayed quiet about it. Friends don’t always agree on everything and it isn’t compulsory to have an opinion on everything everyone posts in a group chat.

Agree. It takes a LOT to go against friends- we are hardwired to fit in. These statements are pretty horrible but as long as my partner didn't join in I think I'd be OK with him not calling them out. It would take so much strength of character to make things awkward and do that

It would alter my opinion of my partner knowing the type of people he chose as friends.

Having a vent between mates is very different to actually treating stepchildren poorly. Wanting to moan about having to do things for them like washing or ironing (when it’s the actual parent who should be doing it anyway) or buy them things (ditto, actual parent job) and generally letting off steam in private is one of the pressure valves people need.

If they were being unkind about the actual children themselves, that would be horrible.

If your partner has step children and just kept quiet, I would assume they don’t agree with their friends but don’t want to lecture them.

As my dh has step children he loves the bones off. I'd expect him to say something and would be disappointed in him if he didn't.

That sounds like a ‘discussion’ where most of them don’t actually have step children.

Many men don't seem to want to pay for their own children, so sadly I'm
Not surprised.

They don't sound like very nice people but probably more ignorant than nasty. I'd stay well out of it.