To think my neighbour can't leave her dog at home?

[FairTurtle]

Got chatting with one of my neighbours recently. We live in a block of 6 or so flats. She lives with her husband. We seemed to get along well, so planned to chat more in a week over a cup of tea etc at my place. She asked if it's ok if she brings her dog with her. I'd told her I'm uncomfortable around dogs, and looked visibly uncomfortable, so I'm confused as to why she'd ask this. Why wouldn't she just leave her dog at home with her partner (who she said will be at home, working)? I've never had a dog so not sure if this is just the norm.

Did she say she couldn't leave him at home? Nothing wrong with her asking you, you said no, then what was said?

There was no harm in her asking you, and no harm in you saying no either.

The dog may have separation anxiety or something.

@HangingOnJustAbout I didn't really ask her to leave him home, tbh, I just looked a bit sheepish. I'm not sure why she asked to bring her dog given a) she literally lives a few doors away and presumably could leave the dog with her partner and 2) I told her I'm not keen on dogs

This really ^ 🤷🏼‍♀️
Could be the dog barks, partner has meetings….

No problem at all with her asking, no problem at all with you saying no. This is a total non-issue.

She only asked. What was her response when you declined?

I just find it weird that she asked AFTER I told her I'm uncomfortable around dogs, and looked visibly uncomfortable when her dog was near me.

Do dog owners just take their dogs everywhere with them, forever?

Maybe she just forgot, I don’t remember ever detail of every conversation with every neighbour I have. It really isn’t an issue. Her asking is fine, you saying no is fine.

If she tries to bring it, tell her no, woman up for your own sake. It’s a bit odd wanting to bring it if her dp is home (even if he isn’t!)

She probably just thought you meant that you’re uncomfortable around (other, scary) dogs but that couldn’t possibly apply to her dog as he is so lovely and not at all scary.

Some dogs are quite clingy to their main ‘caregiver’. So while some dogs would not be fussed if ‘mum’ went out and they’d just stay at home with ‘dad’, other dogs would whine or mope about until ‘mum’ returns. Sometimes this means also following them from room to room at home or waiting for them outside the bathroom door.

Don’t worry too much about the ‘why’.. just focus on your response, and enjoy your cuppa with your neighbour.

Yes, because your neighbour asked if she could bring her dog it means all dog owners take their dogs everywhere. Forever.

@ViaRia01 Really? I genuinely never knew. So it's like a child? So if you have a dog, you can't really go out, to say, the cinema? Or a bar? Or to work?

@ViaRia01 But yes good advice. I really am not keen on dogs, I can't help it. I'll ask her to leave him home, but be apologetic about it.

Dog owners tend to love their dogs and enjoy their company... She probably just wanted to bring him.

I'm not sure how it's possible to be so clueless about dogs. For example, I don't have children, but I do understand the main caregiving needs... The advice is not to leave a dog alone for more than 4 hours a day total. So yes you can go to the cinema or a night out, but for a full 8/9 hour work day ideally you'd have doggy daycare or a dog walker going in at least once. Dogs don't come trained or settled though, so if a puppy/new rescue, chances are you won't be able to leave them for anywhere near 4 hours for a good while.

Yes exactly like a child, except they never grow up! It depends on the dog, my last dog was happy to be left for a little while, but my current one is glued to me. Even if there’s other people at home so she’s not alone, she’ll still cry for me if I go out. So I tend to plan my activities around things that I can take her to. Sometimes of course that’s not possible, and she has to suck up being around someone that’s not me. They’re pack animals and so it’s unnatural for them to be separated from their pack.

The weird ones. Some owners treat them like children

Yeah, sorry OP I think you’re making an issue when there isn’t one. I have a dog and he has separation anxiety so take him out with me where and when I can - it was fine for neighbour to ask and it was fine for you to say no. Surely that’s the end of it? Not sure what good a thread is about it.