To think My children's dad wrong doing this?

[inthedarkx]

Quick background:

Kids dad stopped seeing the kids 3 months ago and blames me just because I told him he needs to stop turning up 2 hours late and expecting me to be at home to receive them back 2 hours earlier than agreed
Also because I asked for coparenting advice on social media ( he set up fake accounts to stalk me) I had to follow his rule that I wasn't allowed to do this within parenting groups and because he 'caught me'he stopped seeing the kids

So he must have stalked all the privare groups to see I was a part of them and stalked my posts.

BuT he still talks to the 13 year old by phone, he sends her money but not our other kids and he buys her trainers and gifts and hair products and either gets them delivered or drops them at my door but doesn't do anything for our other kids
My son who is 8 he no longer is interested in him or my 5 year old or the 12 year old

He only favours her and today he arranged for her to meet him after school at 3 so he can take her to get her hair braided ( he finishes at 2.20 on a friday) . And i was on the bus to pick the othwr lkds up for 3.20 i didnt find out she was with him till i set off home. He never emailed me or anything. She text me last minute.

If she didn't text me I would be frantic going home seeing her not there as he ignores my emails. I emailed him to ask which shop he's left her in to get her hair done, and he's ignored me she's wasn't answering my messages. She did finally answer and she said she's getting her hair done but doesn't know the name of the name of the shop

He's treating her like a full blown adult and she can make decisions for herself without me knowing

But the kids see how favoured she is. My 17 year old doesn't speak to her dad due to the favouritism the 13 year old and 18 year old don't get along anymore as he's always calling the older kids failures to the 13 year old

How do I stop this without making the 13 year old feel like im controlling the situation and being cruel? Because what he's doing is very damaging and toxic and for him not to discuss out child's whereabouts is disgusting

How would family court view this?

*she finishes at 2.20 on Friday I meant

Is he dad to all the kids?

@Idontjetwashthefucker yes he's dad to all the kids

Does he pay for them all through CMS?

6 kids? Did I read that right? (I was getting a tad confused about who is who!)

So their ages are 18, 17, 13, 12, 8, 5?

Or the ones in education

You've got 6 children together? Is he supposed to have them all at the same time, or is it supposed to be staggered between you?

The 18yr old and 17yr old presumably make their own arrangements if needs be?

Yes I made it 6

Teach your 13 about fairness.

I'm surprised she's accepting the favouritism. My 4year wouldn't accept a biscuit if there's not one for my year old.

Maybe treat the others to something and ignore her to show her how it feels. Talk it out and see what she says. As 13 I'd be really disappointed with her going along with it all.

Sorry for not being clear yes 6 kids. He pays her pocket money each week of she does a couple of pages of maths homework and shows it him. But still buys every things she asked. He's supposed to have the kids all at the same time but has stopped having them for 'his reasons'stated above

He's treating the 13 year old like she's an 18 year old. They make plans and i get a text last minute from her but he refuses to see the other kids. The 13 year old says its not her problem of he gives her stuff and tells the 12 year old to do more homework and he'll pay her but the 12 year old struggles academically so she feels left out.

Does he pay ANY money for the other kids?
What a horrible situation to put them in. He is an absolute dik.
I would be speaking to the 13 year old about fairness but tbh she's at an age where she will want loads of stuff and prob not take their feelings on board.
I think u need to as someone's says treat them and leave her out to make her realise how it's making the other feel. Horrible situation to be in op, but I wouldn't be allowing her to get stuff.

I don’t think you can stop this but just explain to the 13yo that she needs to text you herself just to let you know where she is, else you will be worried.

Tell her to text you, even if her dad says he’s already told you.

Do not try and stop her and explain that you want her to have a good relationship with her dad but you just need to know that she’s ok.

Do not say anything negative about him as this will push her closer to him and make her lie to you.

Him not treating the other kids the same is a separate issue and this shouldn’t be discussed with the 13yo.