Wanting to run away

[Crumblycrumble]

I had no idea what topic this comes under so sorry if I've posted this in the wrong section.

I don't even know how to explain this really but it's been a problem for a long time and I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced this or has any idea what I do about it?!

The only way to describe it is I always want to run away.

For example. I'll start a job, be there a little while and then suddenly feel I don't belong and I want to leave and start over.

It's happened with every job I've had. Sometimes not until after a few years but it always happens.

Also happens with places I live. My husband is in the forces so we have moved around a little bit but not too frequently.
But I always can't wait to start fresh somewhere. Then after a bit of time I feel it's wrong, I don't belong, I want to leave and run away.

This went on a while so I came back to my hometown and I thought this would solve it-being in my familiar surroundings but I still feel wrong. I don't feel I belong anywhere. I don't feel settled anywhere.
I don't know why or what to do.

I know I can't keep running away and trying to change things. But I don't know where I belong and where to try and make my life work.

Also feel like this as my daughter has just started school and I'm thinking it's wrong. Not the place for her. Want her to go somewhere else (absolutely not going to move her around, just explaining how I feel and wondering why!?)

I just don't feel connected to anywhere or anyone really. Besides my kids of course

What is this?!

I suspect a therapist could help with this. You are running away constantly but taking “the issue “ with you.

Childhood trauma?

I think you have to just let go of the idea that it's the place that's important

What makes someone feel they belong somewhere though? I can't seem to get that feeling anywhere. Do I just need to stick things out for longer and eventually I'll feel it?

I think so, you've moved around too much

Community and a sense of purpose aid belonging or more feeling rooted.

belonging is subjective I think. You can be with people and still feel alone. Do you daydream about what an ideal picture of belonging is? What are the differences between that and your current situation?

I think mine was a combination of childhood trauma and undiagnosed severe combined ADHD.
However, as soon as I had my daughters, I had to stop my 'running away' tendencies. They became my anchor and I adapted over time around them.
The town we live in, I loathe. I find it lacking in character and I internally yearn for a place where I feel I belong, but it's a good area to raise my daughters in (good schools, brilliant extra-curricular activities, close to a city etc), so for them I 'sacrifice myself' (gladly).

@Crumblycrumble we live the same life and I can completely identify. We've been at the current posting 2 years and I know we will move some point next year. I can already feel myself withdrawing, I've stopped planning things and booking things. I feel like I'm desperate to escape - even though I don't know when or to where we'll be going.