To be astounded at colleagues' reluctance to walk?

[FlannelTinyTowel]

I recently worked with a colleague I've not worked with before. Part of our job involves going to people's homes. I was driving, with colleague directing a whole other thread as she was more familiar with the routes and locations (she usually drives).

At one point, she told me the house we were going to was on the right, so I pulled over and parked between the parked cars on the right.

She told me it was a bit further down the road, as if I had pulled over too soon and should drive on a bit. Actually waited for me to restart the engine and drive on.

Turns out we were just THREE houses along from the correct one. It would have taken far longer to pull out (from the right) on the quite busy road, drive approx. 20 metres to the next space, then pull over and park again, than to walk this v v short distance.

I was gobsmacked at this.

There were a few other similar incidents/comments in the same day.

I should add - colleague doesn't have any disabilities that make walking harder (pretty sure of this due to other aspects of the job including having to walk on occasion), and it was a pleasant day, not cold or raining.

AIBU to be astounded by her reluctance to walk? (And a despairing at this planet-destroying mindset?)

If I were working, I'd park outside the persons home. People can get pissy when you park outside their home without reason, and while that wouldn't casually bother me, if I was at work, I would absolutely make sure to park outside the right house, just to avoid potential drama from grouchy neighbours and get on with my job.

Without knowing what your job is, I used to live in a dodgy area and saw social services or council reps (anyone wearing a lanyard) pelted with stones, mud and abuse if that’s maybe her thought process? I used to walk home wearing a lanyard and was spat on by some kids and called a child stealing cunt. So maybe a safety thing over a lazy thing?

It's weird isn't it, people see me as more disabled when I use my chair but I actually feel less disabled in a weird way because I am not inwardly struggling with every step (my gait doesnt look different so noone would know).

I always try and remember that that "non disabled" looking person ahead of me in the queue for the disabled loos may well need it much more than I do

My DH is like this - bless his heart. He will actually move the car if he spots a closer space after he's parked, even though moving it will take more time than actually just walking from where we are. For him it's kind of like winning a game. The closest parking is the 'goal'. He's happy to walk but just wants to win at parking!

I did this once. Went to a city to visit an office I hadn't been to before, came out of the train station and jumped in a taxi. When I gave the driver the address he said it was just round the corner. I didnt know the area so asked him to take me anyway.

Turned out it was literally round the corner! I felt stupid but didn't realise it was a big deal, until he said he would now have to go to the back of the taxi queue, all for a £2 fare! Then I felt awful......

Do you know her health history to be making such judgements? You must have a lot of time on your hands to be making such a post - why aren't you out exercising?

I roll my eyes at myself when I've driven somewhere for a walk and then park as close as possible to the pay machine or gate to save a few steps before a walk of over an hour. It's probably just a habit, and not something she's thought too deeply about.

I loathe this. But then I'm a city girl, we walk everywhere. Find it funny when people move in and talk about driving to X,Y,Z and I say 'you'll never find parking' and then they return and say it took them 45 minutes to park and they ended up a mile away. It's usually a 20 minute walk or less.

I know you're just being unpleasant, but I will answer.
No, I do not have a lot of time on my hands. But everyone needs a moment to sit down with a cuppa, don't they? Obviously I'm not out exercising all the time. I do exercise every day though. And did my daily exercise shortly after posting.

And as for her health conditions - or lack thereof - she has been walking between these visits for a few days whilst her car was at the garage. The organisation we work for are good about disability and stuff and would have provided a taxi had there been a need for one.
Plus we were nattering away inbetween visits, and various things were mentioned including her being amazed I ever take public transport or walk now I have a car (a recent development). Also that it was annoying having had to walk on previous visits, but no mention that that was hard for her for any particular reason.

I am more aware than many about disability related issues, personally and professionally. So whilst it's irritating as the OP being picked apart on this, I'm actually glad posters of MN are so aware of disability as a consideration.

I'm thinking lazy to be honest, not any medical condition.

The important point is noone can possibly know either way. Other than that lady. And even she may not (I thought I was lazy for years and beat myself up about it only to discover I did in fact have a very real reason why I found so many things hard).

And the fact she can walk sometimes is irrelevant as so many conditions fluctuate - the fact a healthy person can run 10k doesn't mean they are lazy if they lie in bed when they have flu

You said it, she doesn’t like to walk.

Maybe she has a disability that you can't see? Sounds like you just don't like her

@sunsetsandboardwalks me too - often neighbours can gossip if they see people having visits

@crockofshite if you visit peoples home as part of your job you often get abuse from neighbours if you park outside the wrong house.....I have it every day

Or have mobility problems. I went through a long period of living with severe spinal stenosis before the op, where I was in a good deal of pain walking just short distances. I didn't bang on about it and you couldn't really tell from the way I walked.

Just something to consider (along with a dozen other things before you write people off as lazy)

Could there be a hidden issue? I am in the early stages of a Parkinson’s disease group diagnosis and not ‘out’ to colleagues yet. Walking is difficult, balance hard, and it’s slow & very tiring to walk. I use walking poles for anything more than the shortest distances but feel too self-conscious to do this at work.

It may be, as people have said, that she thinks it is more polite to park outside the house you are visiting

If it is just a case of not wanting to walk, then I think that is not a good thing. Our neighbours have two children, now in their late teens. When they were at junior school, the Mum used to drive the children there - when it is literally only a 10 mins walk up the road - and no roads to cross. They are now older but I have never seen them walk anywhere. Needless to say, the boy, in particular, who was as a young child only slightly overweight is now very large and getting larger each year. It is such a shame.

YANBU, it’s weird.

Where I work it is under a mile walk from my the local hotel to the office, and less than half a mile from our office to the train station. So about a 10 min and 5 min walk respectively.

I had a colleague who visited so I was their guide as it were and they insisted on getting a taxi to from hotel to work and a taxi from the office to the train station! Their excuse was having a travel bag but I do it no problem I just think they didn’t like walking haha.

Not only lazy but also such an unnecessary business expense! I had to submit their travel expenses under our department and I didn’t want accounts to think I’d done this level of pisstakery so I made sure to put their name to it. 😂

Yes a lot of people who drive are just lazy/simply don't like walking. I have friends who will drive 5 mins up the road to get a pint of milk, a sister who will drive round the shopping centre parking building twice to be 3 spaces closer to the stairwell/lift, hates parking a bit down the road from someone we are visiting, a niece who will drive to pick kids up from a friends house a street away. No disabilities, no time pressures or doing something else on the way, just habit. Always look surprised when I suggest walking. Some of the friends have lived in London and didn't have cars so were very used to walking to the tube or local shops but now wouldn't think about it now they live in suburbs or small towns and own cars.

I've had family & friends visit me in London who cannot get over the fact that I don't own a car, walk 10 minutes to the nearest tube every day, or 20 mins to the other one, and always walk 10 minutes to the supermarket even though I could get a bus, use trains for longer journeys. They also find it bizarre I rarely take a taxi anywhere (unless maybe it's raining heavily or very late at night) because walking & public transport is the default for me. Again, no disabilities, not even hidden or with symptoms that might be, they just live in a 'drive my car everywhere' bubble.

Everyone getting defensive about 'what about ...' have missed the point; MOST people with cars like to use them and choose not to walk.

@magicmushrooms Where do you think they should park? If there's an empty space right next to the door, why wouldn't you?

When people find out I walk the kids a mile to school, it's usually met with "do you not drive?" and when I say yes and I have a useable car they are baffled at why I choose to walk (unless it's pouring and then I drive and I'm glad I have the option!)

I enjoy walking, it's good exercise, helps with weight and I do feel better. I think everyone should make the effort to do more walking where possible.

I know a mother on the schoolrun who parks her van (she has 5 children) partly on the sidewalk right in front of the schoogate. I asked her if she could please move her monstertruck away from the sidewalk as all other (grand)parents and children had to make a detour over the road in the traffic. Her answer was : I can't because my car is very wide and if I parc it on the road some driver might scratch it. Just to tell you I know everything about people refusing to walk.

I remember taking a student midwife out with me when I was about 36 weeks pregnant. We’d parked at the GP surgery for a clinic and were due to do a postnatal visit afterwards. The face of horror when I suggested we walk (literally 5 minutes up the road) was priceless. (And confirmed that none of my colleagues ever walked anywhere as she’d shadowed everyone 🤣)