School not letting my child from the school

[Kutika]

I have read numerous discussions where people mention that schools cannot legally prevent a child from leaving, yet I find myself in this exact situation. The school is refusing to allow my child to leave, despite my clear instructions. I've sent an email, filed a complaint with the trust, and even contacted the police, but to my surprise, none of these actions have resolved the issue. I was told by the head teacher that the law does not apply to them. Any ideas on who to contact?

I presume this all really started after Dunblane and Hungerford. Schools until then were generally open, and kids to run away walk off site without adults. They look like mini prisons these days.

30 years ago, I knew a woman who sent her 4 yr old , yes, 4 yr old, on his own and refused to pick up saying he should walk.
School insisted he was dropped off and collected, and she ended up meeting him and then let him run off to the park while she went home. He went to school on his own still, though. School reported to SS who were not interested.

@DelilahRay

Good. If you want to be a sheep and refuse to think for yourself that's your problem, don't expect everyone else to be such a good girl and comply.

I presume this all really started after Dunblane and Hungerford. Schools until then were generally open, and kids to run away walk off site without adults. They look like mini prisons these days.

Again, not everywhere. We are in suburban Glasgow. The only way into the school building is to be buzzed in through the front door, but anyone can get into the playground. There is a 3 foot fence and that's it. It definitely doesn't look like a prison.

Contact the Child Law Advice Line, this could constitute unlawful detention.

Thank you I think you helped a lot. As i never thought about the insurance coverage of the ASC

Could you not ask another parent to collect your child - and drop them on the way - if you are so close many must walk past your house...

The bottom line is that the school is saying that your year 5 child must have an adult with parental authority to collect her until April, when the evenings are lighter. Most people would expect year 7 children to be able to travel independently, barring additional need.

You have made it clear to them that you disapprove of their stance: they have made it clear that they disapprove of yours. Since your child has two more years at school and it’s seven months until April, is it worth creating conflict for your family to prove the point that you regard their stance to be ridiculous.

Several options:
Make arrangements for DH to take five minutes out of his working day.
Ask another parent to meet her at the school gate and watch her home
Send her to ASC
Research other schools that have different arrangements and see if they have a place in year 5.
Write to the head, the chair of governors, the local councillor and your MP.

I think the latter might cause more long term problems.

Quite. So when you wrote you “have no legal power to detain students” you didn’t mean all of them. Where is the cut off? Does it matter if there’s no adult at home, for eg (as OP has still not confirmed this - in fact, I trying to she’s made me completely convinced there isn’t since she said she had mentioned meetings he can’t get out of when in fact she initially said he finished work at about end of school time)?

I still wouldn’t have the power to detain. I would need to call police and social services to intervene. I couldn’t just hold the child in school.

The school here aren’t reporting the OP to police and social care. They are illegally detaining the child.

It's time for the stand off. Warn your daughter you won't be collecting her one evening. See what the school do.

Call them 15 minutes after the end of school. Say you're worried as your daughter isn't yet home. Ask if she left on time. When they tell you she's in ASC waiting to be collected, remind them you've given written permission for her to walk home. And you expect her home in the next 15 minutes. Record the call. Rinse and repeat.

The police and children's services will laugh the school off. Particularly as you can evidence your concern about your child not coming home.

Do not give in. Do not go to the school and collect.

The ASC leader will probably end up walking them home.

Rinse and repeat daily until they get the hint to just let her leave at the end of the school day.

I say this as a senior primary school leader with 20+ years experience. It's a ridiculous (non) policy.

It’s just the school’s policy 🤷‍♀️ different schools have different policies about who can/can’t walk home, just like they have policies about numerous other things. Parents can’t overrule other policies can they, uniform, times of the school day etc etc?

The cut off is safeguarding.

A 4yo wouldn't have road sense, unlikely be able to say where they lived etc.

A 10yo who lives 300m away isn't the same risk.

And legal powers to detain aren't that simple. We can hold but only if you are reporting to SS and or police. They make the decision then. Schools don't.

So if the school are detaining this child they must then call the authorities and report them as not collected.

How do I know that’s true?
I'm not saying it’s not. I’m a teacher (secondary) and my parents were primary teachers. What I’m saying is ‘because I’m an expert’ online means nothing.

Well how do we know the parents saying that the school can keep her and charge for ASC are telling the truth?

You don't.

But I can assure you that what we are typing is fact - in fact if you look we are both saying almost identical things at the same time - because you have to be able to memorise and quote these things to be able to correctly act.

What are they going to do if she just walks out of the school gate when all the other children are leaving? She’ll be home by the time anyone notices.

Cardi learning.nspcc.org.uk/research-resources/schools/dropping-off-and-picking-up-before-and-after-school

Hopefully this will reassure you we aren't making it up 😂

Most schools around here including the one I currently work at allow children to go home alone from the start of year 5 with parental permission. This often includes bus journeys for a lot of our students.

At my school this is written into our safeguarding policy.

One local school actually allows it in the last term of year 4.

The school COULD involve social services if they can show that the child is in danger but I doubt it would reach the threshold for them to become even slightly interested.

unless we challenge these ridiculous blanket rules, nothing will change and this generation will grow up anxious and scared of their own shadows. You can’t avoid all risks, just risk assess to minimise them and it’s clear to me that allowing this child to walk home is perfectly reasonable.

This. If we can't allow a 9 year old to walk home 300m, among hordes of parents & children also heading home, we seriously have a major problem handling risks in a measured way.

Children growing up thinking everything is a huge risk and that no level of risk can be managed and tolerated is why we have children suffering badly with anxiety.

The school is being ridiculous. My children used to take the bus home alone at that age.

It is good for children to have manageable amounts of responsibility and independence and that walk certainly sounds safe and easy.

I live in central London, in a fairly rough area. Yet we are expected to allow our kids to walk to and from school from start of year 5. Whether I as a parent are happy or not- such is the peer pressure to do this.

so frankly if my kid can walk 1.1km to school yours can go 300m

Agree with others that if you want her to be allowed to walk home you’ll have to call their bluff and play hardball. Refuse to pay the after school club charges or collect her. Write to let them know that you haven’t authorised her attendance, do not want them to detain her, and you won’t be paying for it; nor will anyone be picking her up at the end as you have authorized her to walk home by herself.

Pretty hard on your DD until it’s resolved, though. Maybe check how she feels about it and cave on the picking up from after school club when it’s convenient for you (but not the paying for it) if she’s uncomfortable.

I think the fact that not a single person is able to point to any legislation or guidance that gives schools this power tells you what you need to know. People keep saying “safeguarding” but not one person can tell me where schools get this power.

If you really want to fact-check me, you can find what I’ve been saying on page 85 of Working Together to Safeguard Children.

I've been going to schools daily for 24 years none around here would do that the child has to have an adult on their approved pick up list teachers hand each one over at the door

I don’t think I ever said that. I still think that most teachers would detain a four year old or a child they knew would go home to an empty house in Y5 though.

Schools have a duty of care but what's forgotten in the midst of this is their responsibility to facilitate and support the independence of children at an age appropriate time with the involvement of parents who should ideally be taking the lead on this.

The school should not be preventing it unless they can demonstrate they have a safeguarding concern. That might be because they feel that particular child is lacking in maturity, they know there is a dangerous hazard or area the child has to navigate or because they have welfare concerns.

If they can voice that concern then they shouldn't be refusing to let the child go. Why? Because it damages the relationship with the parents and it demonstrates a lack of adequate communication with parents. The school should be able to say we see this a potential risk, how do we work together to foster independence in this particular child and remind parents of what risks there may be.

A failure to nurture independence has its own consequences.