To be INFURIATED by this (in law alert). Give it a read, tell me I'm crazy.I'm right, though!!!

[namechangetohideme]

Having to change the chirstening date of our first child because DPs family are controlling and have said it has to be on a sunday, not a saturday, because that's the holy day.

Even the priest doesn't mind it being on a Saturday, and it means my best friend can go to the christening before she moves away.

So then they decided they won't take the Sat off work because they will lose money...they only work the morning... the christening is the afternoon. They work somewhere insignificant, part time, and could eaily take it off if they wanted to... not that they'd need to as it doesn't clash anyway.

So I've had to change it because they won't stop going on, and I don't want them to snub DP because it's our first baby, and his pride and joy and important to him that they're there.

Yet anything controlling thing in an oh-so-long list including our wedding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I meant 'yet another controlling thing'

Tell them you've gone off the idea of a christening altogether

ok breathe you sound very understanable cross,they sound like a bunch of contrary buggers, are they devoutly religious or just being spiteful?

understanably i meant!!
and YANBU

yes that is extremely annoying.
what does dp say about it?

I'd be inclined to leave it as Saturday and see what happens - give in to them now and they'll walk all over you.

Supposing someone was dying on a day not a Sunday - would they deprive them of spiritual comfort (if they wanted this) as it's not a holy day???

oooohhh it's spite, trust me, because I've run off with their darling boy (who incidently has practically two mums- his, and his auntie).

Who at one point actually decided we couldn't name our child what we're naming him as they didn't like it... grrrrrrr...

Coco- I tried that one last week They don't care, and it causes rows with me and DP.

you're aren't the air port one are you?

I cross posted sorry... I probably am doing it again right now.

LaCom- I said this to DP, that it'll start with this, and then they'll get their own way on the wedding and baby's name and his first bithday and his school etc etc.. but they just said they won't go to the christening unless it's changed and DP was all upset, I could tell, so i gave in. On the upside, I look like the bigger person. Downside, my best friend can't go now.

airport? Nope... what's the airport one?

Message withdrawn

sorry just another MNetter with shocking inlaws

are you planning on getting married very soon?

I do think you and your dp need to sort out how you are jointly going to cope with his family otherwise it has the potential to destroy your relationship.

Does he realise they are being controlling and unreasonable?

My xp's parents were "unable" to make my dd's first birthday party and wanted the time shifted to accommodate them.... going to a committee meeting of some Residents Association or something. I refused. I'm obviously not as nice as you though .

FWIW, they did come to my dd's christening but reluctantly, since they are of a different faith. I thought I was nice to invite them bearing in mind all that had gone on.... but that's another story. Amazingly, their Rabbi said so too!

FFS - dp's family are controlling but you are allowing them to control you. It's your child, your rules. Do it your way, if they can't make it, no great loss.

Maybe a bit of moaning tho...

Totally agrre with cargirl. Can you not do it the weekend before so that BF can still come and that way everyone can be happy - well nearly!

However you need to warn DP that from now on he has to support you and to hell with his parents and extended family. His family and priority now is you and your LO.

They will try and take over and you must nip it in the bud. Don;t tell them your name choices in future - just present them with their grandchild called .... if they say anything then you have the complete right to have a go because of course you will be hormonal and that is expected of you - milk it for all its worth I say!

The same for the wedding, warn them that if they interfere they won;t get an invite and tell them you've told your parents the same thing (even better get DP to tell them this bit!)

I kicked up a fuss with DP and explained how unreasonable it was and we ended up having a row on our first anniversary, so we hadn't talked about it for a while. Then his mum started on at me the other day so we had to talk about it. He's told them in no uncertain terms that this is the ONLY thing that will be changed, but they're so manipulative.

The weddings getting booked this month (abroad) so they'll definately start trying to change things again soon.

LaCom- Very similar to my situation!! It's good you refused! Well done for standing up to them!

We had a six month engagement and announced we were getting married on a Wednesday. Fatherinlaw said he could not make it as he had a meeting. We never changed it as it was difficult enough to get anything booked and of course he was there.

'had a meeting'!
Dear God,what a knob.

My MIL did this to me insisted christening was done on a day to suit her.
Never again
it's taken dh quite a few years to see her for the evil controlling bitch she is (my words not his! and yes I am having a really bad day)

YANBU I also have very controlling in laws it started with our wedding also however sorted this one out quick smart.

My parents don't get a say and neither do his works quite well really .

I would not give in tbh.
our family, our children, our choices, if people go all stroppy and want things their own way or they wont come then they simply miss out.

You need to set the ground rules before you get married.

I don't think YABU but OTOH you don't want your DP to be unhappy. Best to hold it the week before, if you can. If not, communication, communication - explain that you want your BF there and that all days are holy if you want them to be Are they only Christians on a Sunday?