Newborn sleep deprivation - delusional

[NewMumSleep]

I have a newborn baby,8 days old, breastfed. He happily sleeps in his crib, we don't need to cosleep at all. However today I woke up for the fourth time thinking I fell asleep on him breastfeeding. I sleep hugging a pillow for support for my legs/tum and I keep thinking it's the baby. This morning I went a step further and kept massaging my breast (!?) thinking it was the baby and it wasn't breathing, I looked around and couldn't see baby in crib or anywhere and I called out DH for help (who came in, baby in arms, he had taken him from the crib to soothe him and give me extra sleep).

It's so strange, I'm actually awake when this happens, it's when I first open my eyes.

Anyone else have this? I've probably read too much about safe sleeping??

We're otherwise doing great, no baby blue here!

Posting in AIBU for traffic.

Yes, had this a lot.

Woke DP tons of times frantically searching the bed for the baby when he was in the cot. Equally woke and immediately rocked pillows thinking it was the baby. Once thought DPs arm was and tried to pick it up.

Congratulations on having a unicorn sleeping newborn though! Mine were held for almost all sleep for the first few months- screamed or vomited whenever they lay down for more than 20 mins.

Did it with both my children, really scary! It's common!

My baby is 14 weeks and I'm still doing this, I find it really quite distressing. I still sleep with my pregnancy pillow and I wake up nearly every night thinking I've squashed her under it. I've never co- slept but I'm using the torch on my phone to find her and then check she's in her cot. It's horrible 😞

Yes, it’s awful. DD is 18 months but I still get panicky if I’m home alone with her, even though she is in her cot in a different room.

The flip side is I once told DH “be careful, I’ve got the baby” as he rolled over in bed. He was horrified that he’d rolled onto her… except DD was safely in her crib. I don’t know why I said it, except a similar hormone/anxiety flare?

Yes I had this and quite a few of my mum friends did too.

I never co-slept and still woke up in a panic numerous times thinking the baby was in bed with me and I was squashing her. No idea why it’s a thing! Ruining what precious sleep I did get

Oh my god yes. First baby, my DH would take her for a few hours so I could have a nice sleep and I kept waking up thinking she was trapped under the duvet in my bed. It was awful!

Yep, this happened to both me and my DH. On one occasion he woke up to DC's cries (who was in the Moses basket next to me), picked up his phone and started soothing it back to sleep. I had to tell him that it was not the baby!

This used to happen to me all the time when my son was a newborn. I always thought he was with me and would wake up thinking he was in my arms or right next to me. I never co slept either so I don’t know what that was about.

Really common. Ironically, if you did Co sleep you probably wouldn't have it as your subconscious would know where the baby was! (Not that this is a reason to cosleep if you don't fancy it)

I kept dreaming my baby was dropped in water like off a dock or boat or something. It's your brain scanning around for risk to protect the baby. It just goes into overdrive sometimes!

I never co-slept but I did this so many times. I’d wake up and search the bed in a panic looking for DD who would be in her cot. I still do it now occasionally and she’s 17 months old.

https://www.tiktok.com/@thegnshow/video/7407768975012089120

Interesting to see the comment above Re subconsciously knowing where baby is when co sleeping.

I've co slept with both mine since tiny and have never experienced this, so there may well be some validity there.

Totally normal.

My DH used to wake frantically searching the bed for our twins!

I freaked out a few days after DS was born because I couldn't find him. My parents were there and I was frantically looking round at everyone but couldn't see him.

My DM gently pointed out I was holding him!

Perfectly normal - my mind was fried!

Thanks all! At least I'm not going mad if it's not that unusual....sorry to hear so many have had the same though, it's really distressing!

Meee. Only for the first couple of weeks while everything is so new. It's a hugely overwhelming time. Congratulations on your new baby!

I did this too I think it's normal, I woke up in the middle of the night shouting babies name over and over convinced I'd fell asleep on her and hubby kept telling me she's ok she's in her crib until I calmed down. Now she's 3 months old it doesn't happen anymore thank god.

The first time she slept through the night I woke up, saw the clock said 8AM and started panicking I hadn't fed the baby in the night, frantically shouted did you feed the baby in the night at hubby who was also freaking out. We honestly thought she had cried in the night for food and we were just so tired we didn't wake up and were neglecting her, looked over at her crib and she was peacefully snoozing. I nearly had a heart attack and she was non the wiser 😂

Yep, this was the same for me. I'd wake up freaking out thinking I'd lay on him despite putting him in his cot, or I'd be holding a pillow or I'd look over and see him on the changing mat. I also heard him crying when he wasn't, and because he was formula fed due to severe tongue tie my husband did night shifts and he had them too. Crazy times!

So super normal, it happened to me all the time! That along with phantom shower cries send you a bit loopy, but it does get better :) x

Congratulations on your lovely new baby. And yeah, thinking you fell asleep holding the baby when you haven’t and they’re safely in the cot is pretty normal from what I remember. Mad what being exhausted does to your mind.