To ignore unclean teeth?

[TheMauveBeaker]

Friend has a 15 year old son. Personal hygiene is very good other than the teeth! Though they are straight, no need for braces, they are very yellow, almost brown. I was shocked when I saw him last week, hadn’t met up with them for a while, and I was taken aback by the brown teeth.

He’s a nice lad, whole family is lovely, but his teeth look like they need attention - they honestly looked like they hadn’t been cleaned for weeks. Feel like it’s such an easy problem to fix and that someone should say something but (a) not sure I’m brave enough; and (b) not sure how to broach the subject.
DH says I should say nothing and I know that’s the easy option. However, teeth are one of my ‘things’, probably because I haven’t been blessed with very good ones!
AIBU - ignore the teeth, it’s not your child/problem
IANBU - say something (what?) it needs sorting now to prevent problems later

Just to address a couple of replies:

1. I wouldn’t “be cruel” @kateclarke I do know how to be tactful. As I said, my teeth aren’t the greatest and I’d hate for someone I’m fairly close to to have to go through what I have.
2. @lightsandtunnels I’ve no intention of pulling anyone up, I just wondered whether I should say something and if so, what. Clearly you think I shouldn’t so thank you for that.

I’ll ignore it so. That seems to be the general consensus

My son's adult teeth are brown. They grew like that. It's comments like yours OP that made him extremely paranoid about people saying he didn't clean his teeth. He had his front two covered to make them look whiter. He can have them whitened when he is 18.

No matter how 'tactful' you think you are being, it still hurts.

My teeth are quite yellow, dentist says they are healthy and clean though and i have never had a filling. Apparently you can see the yellow dentine in some people's teeth

This.

People see the shiny whites on TV and think that is the norm. It is not! Bright white teeth are not natural.

Coloured teeth are not necessary unclean. They could be meticulously brushed and looked after but genetics or staining is the cause.

He will know because he can see what they look like. Don’t be cruel and make him even more self conscious than he probably already is.

Why is it any of your business?

This seems a bit simplistic and naive to me. If people could whiten their teeth so easily by brushing them why are so many people

spending thousands of pounds on professional tooth whitening, going to Turkey to get their teeth filed down etc.

You might be wrong tho! I know someone who has yellow and dark teeth but it's not cause they are dirty. I was at their dentist appointment with them and the dentist told them their teeth are very clean but they had damaged their teeth years ago and had the roots taken out. If no root then the tooth goes dark and there's nothing that can be done for that. Maybe he broke his tooth and had tonhave fillings.

There is no reason to tell your friend her DS teeth are discoloured, (as if she doesn't know already) unless you follow up with, I have an amazing dentist and I'll pay for all his dental treatment no questions asked.

A friend of mines son and teeth that are rotten all over.

He's nearly 21 and I'm pretty sure his mum was too busy with her other 6 kids to even notice.

She jokes about how she relied on them from a young age to do hygiene and none of the kids are. Particularly clean.

My 12 yr old DS has hyper mineralisation on his teeth which makes them mottled and discoloured. It's something that was there before the teeth even came through and is to do with the development of them. He would be absolutely mortified as would I if someone mentioned it. He is very self conscious about them but we can't get them whitened till he is 14+ and all his baby teeth are gone. Don't mention anything as it has nothing to do with you.

Maybe he smokes

Absolutely do not say anything. It’s not as if your friend can’t see her son’s teeth with her own eyes. If he has a condition that discolours his teeth, she will be aware of that and doesn’t need you pointing out that it looks bad. If he simply doesn’t brush his teeth, she will be aware of that too and will have done what she can to try and make him do it, but it’s not like she could actually force him. You mentioning it would accomplish nothing, other than implying that you think you’re a more capable parent than her.

I definitely would not comment. Teeth aren't meant to be bright white - there are so many products and procedures that people use to get them whiter. But in reality, people have different shades.

Even if he does have a problem, it would be very rude for you to point out I think.

Because everyone is so used to seeing gleaming white fake teeth these days they forget what natural teeth look like!!!

😂😂😂

Does he have bad breath? That would be worse than the staining! If not then I'd presume he does clean his teeth and he's got staining due to coffee etc.

My teeth got stained after using Corsodyl mouth wash. Went back to normal after I stopped using it.

It could be medicine staining them.
Just his natural stone.
Really unfair to say he's unclean.

Final post from me.

Lots of people have said I’m cruel or unkind, I’m neither. Asking whether I should say anything isn’t cruel or unkind.
Lots of people have pointed out that this is none of my business. This is why I asked whether I should say anything.
I won’t be saying anything. I’ll wait and see if my friend mentions it as she is very open about everything (via SM and in person).

You shouldn't say anything because you haven't a clue :

1. About teeth and what leads to discolouration. You are making a set of assumptions based on little knowledge.

1. It's not your place to comment. You are not his mother. If you were my friend commenting on my daughter's teeth I would tell you to back off.

Does he smoke/drink? Know someone whose teeth I’ve never noticed because they’re ok- saw them out running and they spoke to me and I noticed their teeth were disgusting! Brown, just 🤢. They get up at 4am to run (they do ultra marathons so train). No shower, don’t brush teeth.
Saw them again in the evening and back to normal. No idea until then that smoking and red wine were that bad!

I understand. I have a young relative like this. I say nothing because clearly the parent and child know and I would embarrass the child. Say nothing.

I think you should mind your own business!