I think I’m heading for a heart attack

[HomeTruth]

Posting for traffic, sorry, I know that makes me unreasonable but I’m desperate.

I’m so stressed. Work, money, no support with parenting, few friends, little socialising due to work, no hobbies due to lack of time and money. Issues with my house annd other serious personal issues I don’t want to go into. Everything has gotten on top of me, I’m so stressed and I can’t seem to change it.

Im trying to exercise where I can, I’m keeping a ‘gratitude journal’, I’m not drinking alcohol or caffeine but I’m not hungry so not eating a great deal and still gaining weight. I’m exercising where I can (not often), I’m taking multivitamins, I’m deep breathing, listening to calming music - nothing works.

I keep getting angry over little things, snapping. Someone cuts me up and I’m raging in my car. The hoover runs out of battery and I want to throw it. I’m crying over all sorts of things. Stuff from my past and childhood keeps coming up and I don’t know why. This isn’t spilling over into any of the people in my life, just me.

I can feel tension in my body, it’s been happening so so long and I’m getting random pains and aches. My hair is greasy and falling out, my skin is grey and dull, my head aches, my jaw is agony, my teeth are suffering, I’m getting fatter around just the middle which I know is a sign of danger. I feel unwell a lot, I get sick a lot as I’m so rundown. I’m awake a lot at night. I hate myself, I hate who I’m becoming and I’m frightened.

I don’t know what to do. I’m so frightened that I’m going to have a heart attack or become long term ill from holding in all this stress. I can’t, I need to be healthy for my DC but I can’t get out of this. I’ve got a doctors appointment but it’s not for weeks on end.

How can I stop this runaway train?

How old are you? You sound Peri.

This has crossed my mind and I said it when I requested my doctors appointment, not peri but hormones maybe. I’m 39.

I thought the same thing! It certainly sounds like you are perimenopausal but if not old enough perhaps make an appt to see your doctor to find out what support there is available.

Pick one thing to tackle at a time. I'm a single mum of two plus caregiver to a family member. I feel you. 🩷💐

I was beginning to feel similar. I still have the symptoms but I’m finding that so far they’re not overwhelming since I took up gardening. Sounds ridiculous but it’s true!

Swinging from rage to crying? Perimeno!

I've had a couple of heart attacks, if I'd gone to the doctors I may have been able to prevent them....but, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, lack of excersize and 30 years of smoking, big time family history. You'll probably be reet.

So what do I do? Will they decide I am and then put me on HRT?

Im really worried about not being listened to. But I can’t go on like this. I don’t feel suicidal exactly but I have moments where I feel like this is too much to handle and I keep doing it.

I’m so sorry to hear this, how are you doing now?

And I apologise but what does reet mean?

Hi OP
I would suggest an appointment for you to visit your Dr

It could be your thyroid function
Simple blood tests could be ordered for you
Good luck hope things start to feel a bit better soon x

You'll be alright. I'm all good now thanks, what I mean is there are loads of contributing factors to heart disease, obviously being a massive stress Head would be one , hopefully the Dr will help you out with that.

That's a lot going on there. Rather than doing lots of things - journaling, breathing, music etc, how about picking just one thing to focus on and build a routine around that?

I think a good bedtime routine could be helpful to you. If you can repeat the same routine every night, it can trick your body into sleep. Mine goes like this - up to bed at 10.30, teeth, loo, PJs, sleep spray on pillow, set alarm clock. Get in bed, light off. Then breathwork. If brain is chattering, I box breathe for a count of four - in - hold - out - hold etc. Or do increasing in and outs with a longer out breath. The focus on breathing slows heart rate and distracts the brain from racing. It takes practice, but works a treat.

I think you are WAY too critical of yourself! You sound as if you are doing all the right things for your health: exercise, no alcohol, vitamins. As for gaining weight around the middle.... we all do, honestly!

I think you need to continue with the "gratitude journal" line. Can you have one evening a week which is "pamper me" time? Even if just for one hour, then increased to two hours? Even if it is just reading a book or buying some cheap bubble bath.

I bet you are being far too critical about your hair, body. I am not sure what advice to offer, but you are doing all that is right, believe me. I think you need to READ your gratitude journal, it sounds like you are writing things down and then forgetting about them.

Good luck xxx

Fellow Geordie, reet?

Peri? They may try and fob you off though saying you are too young.

Meditation and exercise may help with the stress. Joe wicks 20
min hiit videos from lockdown - they get gradually harder. You may not be a fan but they are quick and really helped me with stress. Meditation - find an online video you like. I can now meditate anywhere easily. It’s been a good change for me. All of this is free too and you can do from home. You may not want to do it but just do it anyway - like horrid tasting medicine - just get it done.

Walks outdoors. Yoga with Adrianne is good but do hiit daily.

As unsync said start with one thing and I’d pick energetic exercise as I find it helps me sleep and burn energy and reduce stress. I’d play a meditation before bed to fall asleep to. If you are in the routine of the gratitude journal then keep that too.

I too (for want of a better saying ) have recently started turning into an emotional hazard zone when my period is due. Internal rage over minor things, feeling ridiculously easily irritated , one minute feeling fine, then feeling teary and weepy. It feels like being a teenager again. I found I'm completely safe when actually on my period - I return to normal. Then bang!! Back again about a week before I'm due. It came out of the blue a few months ago - I'm late 30s and now utterly sure it's perimenopause. (Not going to docs, they won't be interested unless periods are missing unfortunately) But I know. I would hazard a guess this could be you too.

I felt better knowing it is purely hormonal (I'm satisfied it IS peri in my case ) and can kind of internally talk myself down. "Breathe. Just drive. It's your hormones. No you don't need to get a divorce. No the world's not about to end. You'll feel different in 2 weeks time". I can catastrophize terribly in that time of the month and have learnt not to overthink any current problems or over burden myself with trying to sort them out on those days as I know I'll do a better job when I'm not 'cray cray' 😜

I'm sure people will come along with more rational advice or to explore any current problems you have that may be causing or contributing to how you feel... But that's my ten pence worth!

Wishing you well

It sounds like you're burnt out. Can you take some time off work? I'm sure your GP would be happy to sign you off for a few weeks to get a bit of a breather and give you a bit of space to think about what positive changes could bring made

I just bought a thin treadmill for $100 to use when I watch TV.

I'm an awful sleeper but I find exercising helps me sleep and improves my mood.

Big hugs. Single mom here too and it's bloody overwhelming at times. 💖

Build a nice calm home and love it there. If time and money are an issue for socialising

Why are so many jumping to peri conclusions? Perimenopause and HRT aren’t the answer to everything. Of course it’s a good idea to check with a doctor for underlying physical issues, but look at what OP is dealing with, no wonder she feels the way she does:

I’m so stressed. Work, money, no support with parenting, few friends, little socialising due to work, no hobbies due to lack of time and money. Issues with my house annd other serious personal issues I don’t want to go into. Everything has gotten on top of me, I’m so stressed and I can’t seem to change it

OP, I have just come out of a similar period in my life where I thought I was going to end up seriously ill from stress. Like you I was going through a serious personal issue that I had no control over. I felt much the same as you do. If I was managing to hold it together, all it took was something falling off the laundry rack or pasta falling off my fork and I’d either be shouting or in tears. It snowballed and I’ve developed all sorts of aches and pains, TMJ problems, flare ups of eczema and IBS, the list goes on.

It sounds like you’re doing all the right things, but I’m wondering if you need something to help release the tension in your body. For example, I found a tai chi and qigong class which was surprisingly cheap. I drag myself there no matter what. It helps me to relax my muscles - particularly the tension in my shoulders which my teacher picked up on straight away. It also helps me to get outside my head because you have to be so focused on each movement. I personally found more conventional exercise, like running and weights, not especially helpful because it was fuelling my anger rather than soothing it if that makes sense. A lot of people at my class joined because of stress.

Is there anything about work that can be changed? Is there something in particular about work that’s causing stress?

If you’re struggling for money, have you checked if there are any grants that might be accessible?

So many people feel like this Op, you’re not alone. If your blood pressure and cholesterol are fine then you’re ok. Try not to worry. But knocking the stress on the head is still important.
I find running gets all my stress out really well. Could you do couch to 5k?

I was stressed and worried about this. Went to A&E a couple of times but it was panic attacks.

Eventually went and got various tests, not just ECG but CT scan and others with a specialist. My heart is absolutely fine. So reassuring.

Quit that job, now I need to find another but no more panic attacks and palpitations.

I was thinking it sounds similar to underactive thyroid too. I thought I was losing my mind when I was in the thick of symptoms.

Developing major PMS symptoms later in life doesn't have to mean peri menopause. It's actually incredibly rare to go into peri menopause in your early 40s. I've had the same experience of horrific mental and physical PMS symptoms for more than a week - it started after the birth of my first child and got worse again after the birth of my second child aged 40. I've gone on the mini pill (available over the counter) and it's completely sorted me out.

That said, I think what the OP is describing could easily just severe chronic stress rather than hormones. Your situation sounds so hard OP. How old are your kids?