Please Be Honest...

[SageInspo]

I know AIBU is probably the wrong place but I just want some options because my head is in a spin..

My mother has been seen in hospital today for issues relating to her stomach. I'm not sure of the details I've blanked but I think she's had a camera down her throat and the doctor has referred her for an MRI and biopsy because of something on/around her tonsil. He's warned her there's a chance it may be cancer of the throat and that she'll have her tests within the next 2 weeks.

Now, please be honest. When referrals and tests happen this quickly it's obviously a bad sign right? Do I need to prepare myself that my mother might have throat cancer?

I live abroad and feel absolutely useless. I feel awful that I can't be there for her now.

I know some of you may think I'm being dramatic but I've been luckily to never have any close to me get cancer so I have no idea what to expect.

Please be kind 🙏

The cancer diagnosis pathway is 2 weeks, so anyone showing any symptoms should be seen in that timeframe. I was recently on the pathway , and I was given the all clear. The 2 weeks does not signify that’s it’s definitely something.

My dad was on the 2 week pathway this year for bowel cancer and he didn't have it - it was side effects of statins. Try not to panic just yet.

Any concern of cancer should ensure the person is seen in a fortnight.

I hope all is well with your mum and you can distract yourselves during the worrying wait for results.

I work in a dentist and if there’s anything that even ticks one box of the possibility of something being cancer we fast track refer which is where the patient is to be seen in a maximum of 2 weeks for tests just to make absolute sure it is not anything sinister but there could be a whole range of things it could be that are easily treatable/ get better on their own so I know it’s easier said than done but try not to panic yet.

Thank you, that's reassuring. I just have this bad gut feeling. She's not been right for a while and she's a smoker/vaper. I'm trying to think positive and cling to the hope it's just an infection.

It’s a very efficient system. I’ve been out in it three times over the last 5/6 years. Nothing found, swift reassurance.

I would try and be very positive because your mother is receiving timely treatment and investigation into what can very well still be nothing life-threatening.

And the last thing a potentially sick person needs is their nearest and dearest collapsing around them. No matter what smile, be kind and be strong.

The Dr must be worried which is why they have referred your Mum and the 2 week cancer pathway is standard in UK.

But of course, that doesn't mean a definite cancer diagnosis.
I agree with PPs, distract yourself as much as possible the waiting can be stressful. Hope for the best.

That must be incredibly tough for you, especially as you don't live nearby. I really hope everything is OK and I'm glad she's being seen so quickly.

Thank you for your kind words 💐

My mother doesn't know that I'm worrying. She won't see it. I know it's the last thing she'd need. It's just awful being so far away and not being there with her.

My husband was seen in two weeks after what we thought was an ulcer hasn't cleared in 6 weeks, it turned out to be completely harmless but I initially worried when the hospital appointment came so quickly

I’m so sorry you are going through this. I’ve been through something similar last year with my own mother who was diagnosed with cancer last year. If the dr is saying there is a chance then yes there is a chance that it is cancer. But it is not for sure. There are plenty of other things it could be such as infections or other illnesses. One of my friends has a cancer scare around the same time as my mother and it turned out to be something completely harmless (she was also told by drs it could be cancer). I advise you to keep hopeful but prepare yourself just in case. I know how worrying it is. Try to distract yourself and chat to your mum on the phone when possible. My mother was so appreciative of phone calls when she was going through it all. And she is doing great now.

I've been on two week pathways for a mole and gastric symptoms. It was so reassuring that I was getting the tests needed etc.
For my mole, the GP was so apologetic in case it worried me. I was so grateful it was so quickly sorted. That one was a little cancer thing, early diagnosis and easily nipped out.
Gastric has never been cancer but there's a shit ton of problems there (not a euphemism), so my kindly GP who actually understands my issues will just get me on the pathway due to faecal bleeds. He's a great GP