Parents of children who hate reading

[Ineedaholidayyyy]

My son has started Year 1 at school. We had a battle last year getting him to read regularly at home, it was very challenging. He would get frustrated when he couldn't sound out words, which lead to him not wanting to read at all. We had a breakthrough in the last term, but he was still a little behind at the end of the year. He's one of the younger ones in the year, so i wasn't bothered about this and was just pleased he was making progress finally.

Tonight, I've asked him to read 3 pages of his reading book, not a lot to expect surely?. He's gone into a massive strop and point blank refused to read anything, telling me its boring. I really don't want to go through this again for another year. My partner thinks I'm being a bit strict with it being his first week back, and that I should leave it till next week to push the reading, which is probably the right thing to do

So I'm interested in hearing from parents who have gone through this. What can we do to try and incentivise him and get him to enjoy reading more? We read a book to him before bed which he loves, he just really dislikes reading his school books. I don't want him to fall further behind this year. I know we can do things like stickers but I want to get to a point where he will read his book without a reward. I'd rather this than a punishment for not reading , eg no TV

My dd hated reading...I didn't push it. She got just an A for English language and B for English literature at GCSE.
An an ex English teacher I feel that she's missing out but my dd would have rebelled if pressured. She does admit though that her vocabulary could be better.

I'm repeating other commenters a bit, but my SD14 (diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia, very probably also autistic) lost all love of reading after "failing" the Y1 phonics test, despite the fact she could read perfectly fine. Many autistic children do not learn best by phonics and need to learn sight words, but there is no acknowledgment of that in our education system.

Added to that, reading schemes are the devil's work, I hate them. SD's horrible school (who also denied that she had any SEN, meaning we had to pay for private diagnosis, although it was very satisfying when the ADHD specialist we saw wrote a report and copied in the governors to say that it was extremely concerning that the school had failed to pick up on obvious ADHD or support her with it) said that children had to read ALL the books of one colour before moving onto the next. This led to an 8 year old girl bringing home books with titles including "Blood" and "Scaffolding", and us trying desperately to convince her that reading was fun.

Just take him to the library and let him read what he likes. Lie in the reading diary if necessary.

DBro got A* in English lang and English lit despite never willingly picking up a book.

His teacher told DM when he was about 14 that “it was obvious from his vocabulary and use of language that he reads widely and deeply” - he’d written something about “the complete disintegration of Macbeth’s psyche”. DM didn’t have the heart to say that was a direct quote from a Spider-Man comic (which do indeed have fairly complex vocabulary).

It's very hard. DW and I have been voracious readers in the past, we both read a lot today and have literally thousands of books. Our DC read very little and we've been tearing our hair out. They just don't engage and with the reading scheme meaning they have to read each day in Primary school I think that to them, reading is seen as a chore. We've bought so many books for them and about 5% of them get read, the majority are started and the discarded in a weekend.

I appreciate the comments about how he may be too tired in the afternoons after school and to let him play. He's home from school by 3.20 and bed time isn't until 7.30-8pm, so he has plenty of time to play and wind down after school. Also tiredness isn't the issue as we attempted some reading books at the start of the 6 weeks holiday ( only once or twice a week) when he was refreshed and relaxed, and he still didn't want to do it then. I didn't force it and just continued to read a book to him at night.

I agree there is a lot of pressure on young children, I wish I was one of those people who didn't care but I worry too much about what people think. His teacher is supportive and not put us under any pressure, I just don't want him to fall significantly behind his peers.

We forced our son when he was this age and it has led to a lifetime hatred of reading.

With our daughter we tried a different approach and read when and how much she wanted to, despite the school being all narky about it and threatening detention and marking her down.

School push it for data purposes only, but a love of reading comes from enjoyment and that can’t be nurtured through punishment and being forced.

Son is now 17 and won’t read a thing, daughter (13) has 3 or 4 books on the go at once!

I used to pop a sweet in my daughters mouth after each line when she was sat on my lap. 🙈 Only like a chocolate button, that helped a lot.

Is he up to dare with his eye examinations too? Sometimes it can be they can't see as well, so that can make a big difference. I know a friends son really got on well with his reading when he got his new specs.

I used to pop a sweet in my daughters mouth after each line when she was sat on my lap. 🙈 Only like a chocolate button, that helped a lot.

Is he up to dare with his eye examinations too? Sometimes it can be they can't see as well, so that can make a big difference. I know a friends son really got on well with his reading when he got his new specs.

We had this with my daughter, tried bribery, rewards, everything, spoke to teachers for ideas. She was eventually diagnosed with dyslexia in year 3, once we moved school. Just something to consider. Good luck.

I have been going into schools and helping with reading for many years and have 2 happy readers myself. Every child is different, and so long as they have a good reading experience I do whatever they want. For kids who aren't fluid readers we each read a page in turn, and if a child is reluctant, I will read to them and maybe ask questions. Kids with adhd like to talk about the book more than read, but it is all good reading comprehension.
The teacher could give you good advice, I am sure, but generally they should have a good time, to encourage them in the future. Even audiobooks (loads free on youtube) are great.

I’m an English Lit uni lecturer and also have 5 DC. I absolutely detest school reading books. They are the most tedious, soul destroying things imaginable. What I recommend is not forcing any child to read them because they’re shit, find books they do enjoy and read those instead.

I also have a 5 yo who has just gone into year 1 and he loves reading because we read good books! More Michael Rosen, less Biff, Chip and Kipper I say!

I hated the Biff and Chip series, there is a reading scheme called songbird phonics which is much better, the phonics sounds make so much more sense. He might like those better, I would definitely recommend The Songbird Phonics books.

Read with him. Find somewhere cosy and create a relaxed atmosphere then snuggle up together to do his reading. He reads a sentence, you read a sentence. You talk about the pictures. You might discuss what you think might happen next. Then he reads a whole page in his book or whatever comes naturally, with your encouragement. Then you reciprocate. When you read, point your finger to the words you are reading so he can follow along. Don’t make it onerous.

My daughter wasn't keen to read. Turned out she's dyslexic and has an issue focusing her eyes too. Was a complete surprise to me, she'd passed her eye test and also passed her year 1 phonics screening (which was done late due to lockdowns).

reading can be done in many forms not just sat with a book follow five minute mum she had good ideas don’t punish if they don’t like it find a different approach,

I think because he’s so young you may need to use a reward system even if you don’t want to. Have you tried taking him to choose his own book?

This works pretty well - get him to read books he already knows, whether it's books you've read or audiobooks. It really helps give confidence.

He's currently working through the Ruth Miskin read write inc red ditty books. I saw his teacher today and she said he's come back and made a great start, so im pleased with that, it's just the struggle at home to master ! He does respond well to stickers, so we could try a reward chart.

I don't think his eyesight is an issue, he passed the eyesight test and I've no reason to suspect an issue. If it something like dyslexia then I imagine it will be a few years until that would be officially diagnosed?

I had a reluctant/lazy reader at Reception, Y1 and Y2. I never stopped reading to him, every opportunity. And I never ever forced him to read. When he did deign to read a few sentences I hugely praised him. The thing that really helped him though was a reading buddy at school. I guess this could be any adult prepared to sit regularly with a kid and listen to them read. It's harder to kick back against a grown up who isn't your mum or dad. Maybe another relative, a paid-teen, a cousin, a neighbour? Or, perhaps your school have a scheme like ours did. My little boy is upstairs right now kicking off because his dad is trying to stop him from reading and go the f**k to sleep...

I really agree with this. It has to be driven by genuine pleasure in stories and reading.

@Abitlosttoday The school encourages parent reading volunteers , I did this last year for the year 1 class and plan to do the same this year 😊

I listened to the children who were not being read to at home, or who were struggling , but all of them tried hard when I was listening to them.

I wouldn't be too strict about it as it coukd make him retract even further. Just try anything you can to help him that doesn't feel like 'boring school work'. Take him shopping and get him to read out your shopping list etc etc. With my 6 yo now I keep the subtitles on and he reads along to the news and allsorts. I find boys harder than girls to pick it up, you just need to find something that does interest him but then use that to say "if you read the 3 pages of your school book then we can sit and read 'whatever' together"
My eldest loved the Max Power magazine and would read it cover to cover from around 5/6, much more than any school book.

Ask if the teacher would give him 2 books in his bag and then he can choose which one he wants to read, giving him back a little bit of control and a bit of a choice.

Also if a sticker chart works for him then I'd just do that honestly.

My daughter was nowhere near reading at the start of year 1 - in fact it didn't really click for her until the end of year 2. But now, at the start of year 4 she's testing a grade ahead. I remember getting a few "teach your kid to read" books but she was so resistant that it made things worse, so I gave up and took all pressure off, and just kept reading to her lots. Two things helped her - having a friend a few months older who was further ahead in reading read to her from a picture book really motivated her to want to do it herself. Then, finding books she wanted to read. Try the Dogman books by Dav Pilkey. They're comic books, but so what? They're much more interesting than a reading scheme book! I would read at bedtime, then when she inevitably wanted me to keep going I would offer that she could do a page or two herself. It's so easy to say don't worry and compare to other kids, and so hard to implement! But just know there's plenty of time.

Mine stopped reading school books quite early on, they are boring. They chose their own books to read instead and the teachers said that was fine.