Is supervised visits off me or a family member of mine still safe guarding f?

[Questionqueen]

I stopped my abusive ex from our son for obvious reasons... HES ABUSIVE!
He's reached out to my brother asking if my brother could have my son at his house while he pops round to visit. I DO NOT TRUST THIS "man" AS FAR AS I CAN THROW HIM SO WILL NOT BE HAPPENING!!!!

However, if this ever were to happen with me in the house would it be safeguarding my child still or not? I am absolutely hoping I cannot do this because I do not want him anywhere near my son!

Not sure what you are asking OP 🤔
does he have PR
have the courts directed no unsupervised contact?

Are social services involved?

Does he have parental responsibility of the child?

How old is he?

Sorry I have been unclear.
I've reported his abuse to DV services but they did not refer me to SS because there is no safeguarding issue. I removed my child from him so they believe I absolutely did the right thing.
He threatens to report me to SS for absolutely nothing and so it made me think in fact him being around my child was not ok. He needs to be gone. And so I acted accordingly and professionals agree.

He's now crept out the wood works after 5 weeks to ask my brother if he could see my son. I do not want him to and my argument of keeping away is that I am safeguarding my child. So me saying no to him having my son at my brothers with him and my brother there would I be right to say no I am not doing this because I'm safeguarding my son?

The lovely chap is 44 this month

How old is your kid?

I don't see why this matters in this case. He's a baby

What does he threaten you with SS for? What is he seeing you do?

He can go to court and request access …..you are quite within your rights to excercise your or if you think your child is at risk…..however he is quite within his to go to court….if there is no reason for him not to see his child you could be accused of parental alienation later down the line….maybe take some legal advice

It’s pretty relevant and a lot more relevant than your ex’s age, which you posted.
Anyway, as your child is a baby (see, the age is relevant) could you not say that you are not prepared to hand him over to your DB and that you personally aren’t prepared to be there when your abusive ex is.
I would leave him to make a court application, where the court might well order supervised contact, with an aim to moving eventually to unsupervised. But let him initiate that. There’s no real relationship between him and your DS if your DS is so young so it’s not like you’re going to cause him trauma by stopping him seeing his dad.

If the police & social services found no evidence of any safeguarding concerns then he could quite rightly apply for access.

You need to report every instance of abuse or DV. Every report will trigger a safeguarding referral as a child is involved.

supervised contact (either by a family member or in a contact centre) can be put in place by a court order to allow contact to take place when there are safeguarding issues. it would be up to your ex to make an application in the first instance.

Just be aware that in many cases courts will not consider dv against the mother as a reason not to allow child contact. This may initially be supervised, eg in a contact centre, but would then likely move to unsupervised. Obviously very different if he has been abusive to the child. Either way, you need to take legal advice. You may be entitled to legal aid given the circumstances.

I would say no, and that needs to apply to court for contact, which can then be supervised by a professional if felt to be

Your ex being in a house with your brother wouldnt be ideal. My brother (normally the most peaceful person ever) would struggle to be near a man who had hurt me (his sister) without reacting.

He threw a bottle at my face when pregnant and got a black eye, he threw bowls and pots which missed my son by cm as a newborn head butted me and spat in my face when holding him so obviously I left him due to this. This is safeguarding my son and never trusting this monster alone with him again

Is there any scope for you moving away and disappearing? The violence is horrific but I’ve seen unsupervised contact granted despite stuff like that. Or just moving house within the area but where he doesn’t have your address. A lot of these deadbeat dads can’t be arsed to do basic hard work so he might drop any plans to apply to the court if he doesn’t know where you live. And tell your brother to just say nope, not up for that, violent man who beat up my sister.

You need to get SS involved in some way , it doesn’t sound like he is going away and whether he has contact will not be your decision , unfortunately he has rights .

They won’t be interested as the child is safe, living with the OP and not having contact with the father. If he takes it to court, the OP can raise the safeguarding issues but even then I wouldn’t expect SS to get involved because the family court will assess what is safe.

If he takes it to court he is likely to get access and you'll be legally obliged to make your child available to him. How likely is he to take it to court? Depending on the answer it might be smarter to make small concessions to keep him sweet, or it might work to tell him no and let him crawl back into the woodwork.

@Floralnomad nope, parents do not have rights, they have legal responsibilities. The child has rights.
OP what have the police advised regarding the attacks? Is the scum getting prosecuted?

When I said SS I meant family court or whoever it is looks after children’s interests and when I said he has rights what I meant was the mum can’t just make the decision to cut him off , although hopefully the courts will in this case .

Yes what have the police said?

Sounds awful but as a few PPs have said, if he takes you to court you could well be ordered to allow him unsupervised contact.

Would that be better or worse than allowing him contact at his brother's?

He's an extremely violent man who has a criminal violent record as long as my arm. He isn't going to be taking me to court I wouldn't have said.

Well at least you’re away from him now, although having a kid with someone with a criminal record as long as your arm isn’t a good idea.
If he won’t take you to court then just ignore him or say no. Report his assaults and get an injunction against him. He doesn’t sound like a good influence for your son so make a life without him. If he does take you to court, having police reports will help back up any allegations.