How child's name is pronounced

[OnlyAThought]

Hey all

Just a quick opinion, my LO started school yesterday. When I asked how his day went, the first thing he told was, they are saying my name wrong.

I advised him to correct them, but he feels he can not.

Again, today, at pick up (only part time for the first couple of days as he is in reception), the same sort of conversation and he tells me his name is pronounced incorrectly and stamped his feet said it's not my name.

Should, I ask/tell his teacher, I don't know?

Let me know your thoughts

Definitely say something and soon. If they don't know they can't correct it and if its upsetting your LO then even more reason to. Teachers always pronounced both my daughters names incorrectly and I have always had to tell them the correct way to pronounce it. I am sure they would rather know and get it right than not know and keep getting it wrong. To be honest I would have done this straight away, the very day after.

What is the correct pronunciation of Cormac?

Just have quick word with the teacher, why wouldn't you? 'Hey just wanted to let you know, my son's name is pronounced Jack, not Jake. It's important to him to be called by his right name, do you mind calling him Jack from now on please? Can you let the rest of the team know?'

Irish people would pronounce the R, so it's pronounced as it's written. A lot of English people don't pronounce the R and so say Caw-mac rather than Cor-mac. It would be wrong to correct them as it's just their accent, just as they'd say pahk not park.

But yes, just speak to the teacher and find out what's what - accent or mispronunciation. I'm sure they won't mind, they'll want to get it right.

You're making this thread more difficult than it needs to be.
Who has mispronounced the name is it just the teacher who you've dripped in has an accent or is it everyone?
If its an accent thing then explain to your child about accents. If its a pronunciation thing then you need to correct the teacher. You don't want to do it yourself but expect a 4 year old to do it.

I'm a teacher. I've had a similar situation.
A new child's name was incorrectly written as a very similar name on my class list.
So I called her "Similar" for nearly two weeks until another child came to tell me " Similar says her name isn't Similar, it's X"
Poor X had never spoken up so I had no idea.

Tell the teacher straight away, it's certainly no problem. They'll be only too happy to correct themselves.

Or, be polite and friendly "Just so you know, LO's name is pronounced ..... not ...."

No need to get on anyone's wrong side. This is easily sorted

Yes agreed, no need to be confrontational at all. Teachers know it's important to use correct names!

Tricky as it could well be down to accent rather than mispronunciation.

My daughter doesn’t attend an English speaking school. Her name is pronounced differently at school to how it is pronounced in day to day life. It’s not a name from the language, the sounds made in her name don’t exist. She understands why there is a difference, what her name is etc. her peers who all also speak English will pronounce her name one way when speaking English and the other when speaking the school language.

This exactly....if they don't know they can't fix !

Ask your DC how the teacher says the name then tell the teacher tomorrow. The sooner the better. It will be harder for everyone if you don't.

The detail about the accent is crucial. If it's a name which sounds different in varied regional accents across the trap-bath split, e.g. Alexander, then this is very different to a genuine misunderstanding or mispronunciation of the name.

Does DS's name have multiple legitimate pronunciations? Do you use a pronunciation which is not the usual? I had an absolute nightmare a few years ago with a student who spelt his name Arron but insisted (often quite aggressively) that it must be pronounced air-on.

Yes, if it's just an accent then that's how it is. If it's actually pronounced incorrectly then it's worth mentioning.

My brother and SIL say my nephew's name differently from each other because of the a/ah Southern/Northern vowel difference. Neither are wrong.

Some accents pronounce the h in Anthony and some don't. Not sure I'd "correct" someone on that either.

Day 2 or three is the time to fix it, the teacher is learning all the names, it is far far harder to UNLEARN something than it is to learn it properly. No need to be aggressive about it, just say, “Hi, just to let you know , DSS name is pronounced XXXXX , not xxxx”

Write it down phonetically for her so she doesn’t have to try to remember what you said. Looks like xxxx pronounced XXXXX.

I remember supervising a student teacher taking the register - primary school and student was from another culture - and she said 'Foib'. No answer. I did know the class, just sitting in, but knew at once that the name must be 'Phoebe' and leant ever and gently corrected her, something like: it's pronounced 'Feeby', I think. There is no problem correcting the pronunciation of your child's name - though I frequently despaired of parents who had chosen a non-standard spelling and also a non-standard pronunciation.

Of course you should say something, why on earth wouldn't you?! It's very easy to be perfectly polite about it. Even if it is an accent thing, we can all take reasonable steps to say the name how it should be said in the native/correct accent. The longer you leave it the bigger problem it will be, and they'll be forever know as the 'wrong' name.

I was born and bred in England but live in a Welsh speaking part of Wales with a fair few traditional Welsh names, with letter pronunciations that are difficult for many non Welsh speakers to pronounce, but I make every effort too and apologise if I get it a bit wrong. Although we couldn't name our son what my husband wanted to call him as I really really couldn't pronounce it and it sounded ridiculous in my accent!

I'm not sure you can correct someone who has an accent 😬

There's a difference between not pronouncing a name correctly and having an accent that makes a name sound different.

You're massively overthinking and it being day two makes no odds. Speak to the teacher, get it sorted.

Can you son not tell you how she actually said it?

I'd probably have a word. You don't need to go in guns blazing and could phrase it along the lines of "DS is upset that some people are pronouncing his name wrongly" - you don't need to focus on the class teacher alone.
It is much better to correct things early. My DD has a name that has a several spellings, all used fairly frequently. When she started ballet classes her teacher used the wrong one and I didn't want to make a fuss when we were new. The result was that even though I repeatedly corrected her later, DD's name was misspelled on all her exam certificates, show programmes, newspaper reports and so on. Once it was in her teacher's head it seemed impossible to shift. One of her aunties is the same - birthday cards etc are always wrong.
When the same error was made at school I spoke to the teacher on day 1 and the mistake was corrected immediately. Much better to say something straight away before it gets embedded.

How far off is the pronunciation and is the teacher likely to be able to get the right pronunciation, given their accent?

Is it something like, Naomi being pronounced Nigh-oh-mee instead of Nay-oh-me, or Helena pronounced Hel-ay-nuh instead of Helen-uh?

Or as a pp mentioned is it an accent issue like a rhotic/non rhotic r?

Of course you say something! The teacher is given a class list, it doesn't come with a pronunciation sheet, they just do the best they can until told different! Just say " zxqwgfh says you are struggling with saying his name, we pronounce it Fred"

If its wildly different like his name is Richard and they are calling him Robert then definitely raise it as its likely a mistake but if its an issue where he is called Andre and they are saying An-drey when its On-drey then you can correct it but it will likely still occur ongoing with every new person unfortunately.

My DD just started too and her name gets mispronounced a million different way by the other kids, she hasn't even seemed to acknowledge it yet. Hers is because theres lots of similar sounding rhyming names (example: Milly, Lily, Billie, Tilly, Hilley, Jilly... she has had them all from the other little kids). I'm hoping as they grow and their pronunciation gets better it will stop as adults don't seem to struggle.

I also have a name mispronounced by everyone (god knows how given its phonic) which has never got better and I stopped correcting people long ago... its an Elsa moment where you learn to just 'let it go' for your own sanity.

@OnlyAThought if you've given your child a name that you wouldn't necessarily know how to pronounce by looking at it then it's quite normal to speak to the teacher and tell them the correct pronunciation if you're son's not confident enough to do this.

Teachers aren't mind readers so if no one corrects us we assume it's correct. I usually write a phonetic pronunciation on my seating plan so I don't forget!

If it's a name that should be easy to pronounce then it might be an accent difference.