To think you shouldn’t be hassled before a deadline?

[Rfthyhuj]

I’m going away with friends next weekend. We’re splitting the cost of the food. The organiser asked for the money to be transferred by Friday this week. Yesterday I received a message from her asking if I got the message and would I transfer it. I was in a meeting so ignored it for another hour or so, by which time I, along with two others, had been tagged in the group chat reminding us we need to pay. That was followed by messages about feeling stressed because she doesn’t know how much money she’ll end up with.

It’s really irked me. Why say by Friday if they’re going to start hassling on Tuesday? It was like being accused of not paying up on time when I still had ages

And it’s Wednesday, so she shouldn’t be hassling anyone about it right now.

But she didn’t say “pay on Friday”, she said “pay BY Friday”.

With that I'd probably plan to pay Wednesday or if back transfer Thursday evening as it goes straight though but I wouldn't interpret that as needing to pay on Tuesday -when OP was at work.

So I'd be annoyed to get multiple messages conveying idea I was late paying and that I need to drop everything and sort money out immediately for her when her stated deadline was days away.

Maybe she wants to order a click and collect and needs to know what to order? Have you agreed an amount? X

That sort of thing drives me nuts. People at work do it all the time. YANBU!

Maybe she wants to order a click and collect and needs to know what to order?

Why didn't she explain that - with an apology that she needed money sooner than she originally said.

Saying by Friday and expecting people in middle of working day Tuesday to ASAP get money to her - is just poor communication and very annoying to be on receiving end of.

One of the most important things in life is to pay what you owe before the person you owe it to ever has to ask. It's basic good manners.

I'd agree but if I'm asked for payment by Friday - I have Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday all day to pay till I'm actually late.

TBH I'd probably do it Wednesday and expect reminders not to start till Thursday.

Op thought she had till Friday to pay because that is what she was told then got a series of messages on Tuesday in work hours asking for payment.

This is partly why she is upset - she had plenty of time to pay still with stated deadline but was made to feel bad because she was suddenly being chased early with no acknowledgement that the deadline had suddenly been moved forward.

You should pull out. You're going to put a dampner on the whole thing.

YANBU. She should have set an earlier deadline if she was going to get stressed about it. I’d have to set her straight on that.

And Tuesday is a long way before Friday. There was 3 days to go.

It’s also basic good manners not to hound people in the middle of the working day when the only deadline that’s been given is one of your own making and has not been missed.

Okay, but how is that relevant?