How do I deal with this colleague?

[Whatafustercluck]

I left my previous job last August. I'd worked there for 8 years and it had become increasingly toxic, so for my mental heath I quit and took some time out. I held a senior position there.

A former colleague heard I was out of work and asked if I'd like to do some work for the organisation he was with as a self employed contractor - initially pretty low level project admin work, but exactly what I needed at the time to rebuild my confidence and get back into work. The part time hours and day rate were very good. I'd never worked like this previously - have always held permanent positions. On the while it's been a good move - low pressure, mostly stress free.

This former colleague has moved on to another contract now, but my contract has a couple of months left. The programme manager has indicated that he'd like to extend my contract, and utilise more of the skills and experience he knows I have, expanding my role. Nothing has yet been formalised, but I've been positive about the opportunity and indicated that I'll be prepared to increase my working hours.

When I was brought in, I was reporting to a woman - younger than me, seemed very knowledgeable, and at first she seemed lovely. Very enthusiastic, helpful, etc. As the months have gone by though, I've noticed a marked change in her attitude towards me, and I'm not sure what to do about it since I'm not a permanent employee and I'm in a bit of a precarious position with my contract coming up for extension.

The kind of things I've noticed include passive aggressive emails, copying in others, which 'slap my wrist' when a small mistake is made (by mistake, I mean if I digress from her preferred way of doing things).

She'll ask me to do something, I'll do it way ahead of deadline, she'll leave it until right before the deadline and then come back with a litany of comments and pretty inconsequential amendments, expecting it then to be done immediately despite her having sat on it for ages.

Example: I was doing some work which needed her input. I was working through a pretty detailed list of actions and activities at the time. I looked up to see if I could speak with her, but she was nowhere to be seen (she often wanders around the floor chatting to people). So I messaged her while it was still fresh in my mind, so I didn't forget. I received an email, copied to another colleague, taking issue that I'd messaged her instead of talking to her. I replied politely stating that I did in fact try to find her to talk it though, but she wasn't at her desk.

When I ask for her advice about something, she invariably gives the impression that she's too busy and I'm actually inconveniencing her. She talks to me like someone fresh out of school, expecting me to use my initiative - but when I do exactly that, it's invariably not what she would have done, and can she suggest that I do it another way.

She's very, very defensive if I suggest a different way of doing something and becomes quite snappy. She knows what I'm capable of (and the team definitely needs people who come up with solutions, and give a bit more than they're paid for) but continues to give me menial tasks. My other colleagues have made me feel more on a level with them, encouraged me to develop my own ways of working, and to take on more challenging work.

These behaviours all seem to stem from a time a couple of months ago, when I reminded her of some work I'd bust a gut to deliver for her but she hadn't bothered to review. Her response was to say she'd been snowed under and had prioritised other work, but that she'd work to a new deadline. That new deadline passed a month ago and I've given up asking her now.

Ive tried really hard to improve the working relationship. She clearly likes to be in charge, so I've backed off and backed down, knowing that I don't have any formal complaint/ grievance route to go down as I'm not a permanent member of staff. I'm really not sure what I should do next, or whether I should confront her, or escalate to her boss (via informal complaint). But I constantly feel picked on and undermined by her.

Fwiw someone else made a grievance against her previously. And I'm aware there are some tensions around her work ethic with other members of the team. I haven't told anyone else I feel like this though.

Do you think you could find another job quickly? Seems the best option to me. The law that will give you employment rights from day one will probably not be enacted until the middle of next year, and going down such a route is not easy.

I've voted YABU because you're essentially a contractor so just need to keep your head down and do what the boss wants.

If the boss wants you to do something X way, then even if you know that Y is a much better way to do it, you do X.

This woman has clearly discovered she is managing someone capable of doing much more and is no doubt quite bitter about it.

I'd just rise above it and do EXACTLY what she asks you to do.

If you do things in advance, send an email saying "As requested, I've completed the XYZ report. Please could you let me know of any amendments or changes required before DATE so I can make the required changes before the deadline of DATE. Basically cover your arse!

I would say nothing at the moment as your contract is due to end (assuming you can tolerate it for however if they offer you something more long -term then I would mention it then (assuming you want to continue to work for them). Be polite, professional but make it clear that it has been difficult working with this employee & see what they say. Maybe they'll be glad to know if someone else has already complained.

Play her at her own game.

Draw up a table of work streams / projects, setting out title, brief description of work, owner, deadline for completion.

Add a column showing when you submitted each piece of work for review and when a response is needed by to get it done in time for the deadline.

And then send to her and cc the programme manager and relevant stakeholders.

It sounds to me as if she finds your efficiency and experience a threat. Therefore, she feels the need to show you who is in charge by 'nit picking' and putting you in 'your place'. You are a contractor and have no real recourse other than to make a formal complaint higher up the chain. It may be, if you do, your contract is not renewed, and you're seen as a 'trouble maker'. Either you do exactly as she asks, regardless if you know better or not or you find an alternative job. Would this woman still be your immediate boss, if you stayed? You're clearly a confident, efficient and knowledgeable person, so don't let her behaviour knock that confidence.

Say nothing.

Give her enough rope, she'll hang herself - which sounds like she's on her way to doing with other colleagues raising issues with her.

Don't risk your contract when it sounds like hopefully she'll maybe be given the push at some point. Depending on your relationship with your colleagues, potentially could very subtly manipulate the situation into encouraging any of them with issues to raise grievances...

You’re a contractor, not a Perm Employee. You are there to deliver the services, outlined on your contract .. not to work outside of that. You are not there to come up with new ideas, you are there to deliver a set task, in a timeframe outlined by your employer.

Is this the first time you have been a contractor? It is different to being an employee, and can take a while to get used to.

The joy of contacting is that, if a workplace doesn’t suit, you can go elsewhere. Check the terms of your contract before you start complaining, especially notice periods.

Thanks for your replies.

It is my first time as a contractor and yes, it does take time to get used to. But I've dealt with contractors in my previous position, which was public sector and it's fair to say that we were always looking to get value for money from them, so it seems alien to me that this woman wouldn't look to do the same. The kind of improvements I'm talking about aren't game changing, just ways to make day to day work better, easier, more effective. This is public sector, too. As I said, my other colleagues are taking my contract and seeing how they can get me involved in areas that utilise my skills and experience.

I spoke to another colleague on Thursday who has applied for another job. She said this woman has form for this and suggested that I try to keep perspective - the 'mistakes' she highlights are often not mistakes at all, she's just nit picking. She's done it to multiple others, including her, three of whom have tried to escalate it (they were permanents, and ended up leaving as a result). She said she believes she does it to those she feels threatened by as a way to make herself feel good. Copying people in is her way of trying to prove that she's managing people, but she often makes herself look a bit silly.

I've resolved to suck it up for now, ahead of contract extension. I'm working more with the other project managers now anyway (which also seems to irritate her!) and thankfully it's only 3 days a week. In the meantime I'll keep a look out for other contracting positions as well as permanent roles. I'm trying to break into the charitable sector (my dd is nd, so I'd love to use my profession to work in this field which has become a passion for me) but I'm finding it incredibly difficult to break into. I'm feeling a bit 'type cast' where I am, because I've been in this industry for 20+ years.

Part of my contract extension negotiations will focus on the areas i think they need the most support - which this woman has no interest, influence or involvement in.

OP I had that exact situation years ago. It got from bad to worse to impossible to maintain. She sounds a bit like this person! I got HR and the Union involved, I was begging to be moved departments (Civil Service). No help at all and eventually an internal position came in, applied and was successful. If I stayed I think I would have given up my job, with the flexibility, pension etc that is too valuable to me. My advice is run to the hills!!! X

She's got it in for you. It ain't gonna get better. Better start now to think about your options / next o0portunities. Why wait for rot to set in and ruin your Job Reference. THE WRITING IS ON THE WALL. She knows you're far more qualified and experienced and it triggers her. I ve made this mistake. Part of the joy of work is rubbing along nicely with other like - minded human beings. No one needs this. Also if you complain - you are the TEMP ( weakest link) and they will all close ranks and put you thro

The joy of being a contractor is you don't have to involve yourself in office politics and terrible management. You can either take a step back and emotionally distance yourself or you can leave altogether.

She sounds like a woman I used to work for and I still feel very emotionally scarred from it. I’d be very cautious taking this job role if you have to continue working with her.

Sounds, like she is feeling threatened by you, potentially because you are showing up her faults or highlighting where she is not performing or you are more experienced than her. Either way would you want to work in that environment having come out of a toxic work place? Might be worth a chat with whoever offered you a potential new role/extension

If you’re self-employed and a contractor YOU need to be entirely in charge of what you’re doing and when, otherwise if someone else is pulling the strings, as in your situation, it sounds like this falls under IR35 and actually, legally they should be employing you and you should not remain self-employed. That’s potentially a bigger issue here with regards tax and NI.
Unless, you also contract out to other companies and/or you are in charge of your working hours, working location etc.
People like her don’t change, so you either need to sort out what’s going on with your employment/self-employment and be prepared to put up with it - in theory this should be easier because if you’re properly a contractor you can choose not to work in the office, or just not to take her shit - or realise this is how it is and find a job elsewhere.

Have an off-record meeting with the programme manager and mention that you’re very very keen but you find working with her difficult so you’ll only stay if a different reporting line can be found.