Savings for children differences

[Bedheadready]

my husband and I have 1 child and another on the way. From he was 1 week old we set up a junior ISA that we pay into from our joint account every month and he should have approx £30k when he’s 18. I intend to do the same with the new baby when it’s born.

husband has 2 children from a previous relationship. The relationship with his ex gf is very strained as is the relationship with the children. They have no ISA or savings set up for them by us. I am just afraid it will cause more resentment when they are 18 and don’t get what my children will. Differences are already noticed by pure virtue of me earning a significant salary that will continue to rise over the next number of years.

aibu to think we should open something for them too or is it just life.

Given the update about DH earning less to support your career I definately think something along this line is important.

You can't just shift money to a parent account. The reason people have children's accounts is because of tax savings limits and tax benefits. Just tell the older kids that the savings came from you, their mother. If they even ask or notice at all.

There are other ways to be supportive of step children than financially. Not everything can be equal. I say this as the wife of a step child.

aibu to think we should open something for them too or is it just life.

That's just life. If your husband wants his children to have an Isa then him and his ex should arrange one.

I initially thought YANBU but then after your update I think YABU. Your husband is reducing his hours to support your higher paid career, if a woman here did that she would be told her DH should be contributing to her DCs savings.

Do you both pay all your salary into one account? And your joint DC savings come from this? It would perhaps be more sensible for you to have your own accounts with amounts % to your earnings going into a joint account for bills. Then your DH can save for his DC from what he has left.

I think they should have savings too. Whether you contribute to that is up to you and your partner. He made the decision to have this many kids - he needs to treat them all properly.

As he's reducing hours to support you then it's fair that you contribute.

Then he needs to split what he can afford across all of them, even if that means your child getting less from him

@Bedheadready Could your husband afford to pay half the amount that you jointly pay into your child's account into a savings account for each of his other children?

For example, if you're currently paying £100 per month from your joint account into your child's ISA, arguably you're paying £50 per month each. So could he afford to pay £50 per month for his other children?

Or is the reality that it is coming from your joint account but you are financing it all?

The amount he can afford should be split 4 ways and equally across his children.

Anything else makes him a shitty dad.

If you put in £80 and him £20, therefore saving £100, he split thst £20 between his 4 kids i.e. he should put in £5 each.

Sorry that was confusing... I meant shift the standing order into the kids account away from the joint account - so the money comes out of her own personal account not the joint account with SDCs dad. Essentially so the joint DCs money comes from their mum not their mum and dad...