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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should I report this? (Trigger warning CSA)

25 replies

Notsureof · 04/09/2024 00:06

Trigger warning child sexual abuse (sort of)

This is highly identifying so name change etc.

When I was about 11 I went to the 16th (I think it was 16th) birthday party of one of my brother's friends with my family. I knew him quite well as I'd spent a lot of time with my brother and him, they were both autistic at the same specialist school which used to host quite a lot of family events and he and my brother liked to play like D&D style talk through games which I sometimes joined.

Anyway, at the party, he used some pretext to get me to accompany him to his room. He was then very creepy and asked me to show him my pants / take off my pants and wanted to photograph me. I made an excuse that I had promised my parents I would give them one of my sweets (yes really haha), and I was just going to go do that and then I'd definitely come right back. But obviously, I didn't, I hid from him the rest of the party instead. I think he had tried to lift up my skirt and touched me over my pants a very small amount before I basically slithered away from him but altogether, not much happened. My memory on the details is a bit foggy and I have to say I'm not even 100% sure on the ages, though I know that this event definitely happened.

After that party I actually encountered him on many further occasions and he kept asking about "the favour" or some such and trying to get me alone and I kept avoiding him and/or making up flimsy excuses, which were effective. He never got me alone and nothing further ever happened.

I dealt with this entirely by myself and never told anyone in my family. I perceived my mum couldn't handle something like this and didn't want to deal with her reaction. Nor did I want to deprive my brother of one of his only friends. It was another year or so I think and then he and my brother must have finished school, contact ceased, not seen him or heard of him since.

I guess though I found the whole thing unpleasant, frightening and somewhat stressful, but I sort of thought because of his difficulties due to autism (which were not subtle) he didn't know better, or this was a clumsy attempt to act on a crush on me or similar. But then he did clearly know this was a secret thing to be done alone and to be referred to indirectly without other's knowledge - and that's what really worries me.

It's been around 20 years. I've just been thinking - what if he's a paedophile? He's a paedophile right? Even if he's also autistic and quite vulnerable himself. But no crime happened so if I reported it what exactly would happen? He probably does not have the social skills to actually groom / access other children but I just worry what if he somehow does/did and I could have stopped it? Or if he's potentially doing some other crime that harms children such as accessing images of CSA. But equally he may be doing nothing of the sort, living potentially quite a disadvantaged life as someone with autism.

I wish I had made different decisions as a child but the dynamics of my family meant my priority was basically my mum not finding out (long story), and I guess my judgement wasn't the best aged 11!

My recollection of the details is imperfect but I can recall his name and the name of the school he attended but realistically would that be enough to trace him anyway? I would still really struggle with the idea of my parents / brother ever finding out about this.

Is there anyone who works in this area of policing that could advise what would actually come of reporting this?

What would you do?

I guess YABU = forget this
YANBU = report this

OP posts:
Ceebs85 · 04/09/2024 00:11

Sorry if I've missed something, but there's no crime to report is there?

It's obviously a worry that he may be out there being sexually inappropriate with children but the police wouldn't have anything to investigate.

I wonder also if it's wrong to assume him a paedophile as at the time he was only 5yrs older than you, and not quite an adult himself.

Notsureof · 04/09/2024 00:16

Ceebs85 · 04/09/2024 00:11

Sorry if I've missed something, but there's no crime to report is there?

It's obviously a worry that he may be out there being sexually inappropriate with children but the police wouldn't have anything to investigate.

I wonder also if it's wrong to assume him a paedophile as at the time he was only 5yrs older than you, and not quite an adult himself.

No there is no crime. And yes he was only around 5 years older than myself. Which is why I always just thought of it as not being a paedophile thing. But then I was prepubescent and I have come across information that sexual attraction to children begins at puberty/teens, just the same as non-paedophilic sexual attraction. There is the element that though I can't remember the exact words used, what he wanted to happen (sexual touching? Photography? Something more?) was also to be a special secret, something not to tell others etc - which looking back with hindsight, seems to be the approach of somebody who knows they are doing something wrong. Also, why did he want to photograph me? He did not have a broader interest in photography or taking pictures. He had a camera out ready to photograph me. I think that's how he got me to his room, he asked a favour, to take special photos of me. Then when I was there he was specific he wanted to photograph my private parts - obviously I got the heebie jeebies and got out of there.

OP posts:
LanaParits · 04/09/2024 00:19

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Notsureof · 04/09/2024 00:22

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Yes, in one light, it could be that he wanted to look at private parts and I was literally one of the only or possibly the only girl he knew. And due to his autism he wasn't as aware that this was completely inappropriate. That's why I never did do anything about it.

OP posts:
LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 04/09/2024 00:27

Not reporting it is not the same thing as forgetting it. You most definitely should not report it. There really is nothing to report.

But if you are struggling with your thoughts then it is not at all unreasonable to seek some counseling.

thestudio · 04/09/2024 00:36

I disagree. I think that he had thought this through quite carefully and knew it was wrong. It sounds like he touched you sexually briefly (crime) and also tried to persuade you, a child, to have sexual photos taken (crime). I don’t think the fact that he is autistic has any bearing in the potential damage that he might have done to others. I think that the police might check to see whether there had been other complaints that didn’t go anywhere and this might make the difference for someone else.

Notsureof · 04/09/2024 00:36

@LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood thank you for being kind. I'm not really troubled by what happened, as nothing really did happen! I was prompted to gather opinions only because of all there has been in the news regarding images of CSA recently, and trying to track down the people who create/share them.

There is a broader and more difficult aspect of not being able to seek my parents' support during childhood (and instead feeling that I was supporting and prioritising them!) of which this is an example. And I think that's contributed to my muddled feelings about it. Thanks again.

OP posts:
nocoolnamesleft · 04/09/2024 00:43

Touching you over your underwear is sexual assault. So yes, I think there was a crime. Though I suspect pursuing it now would not get very far.

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 04/09/2024 00:55

This is difficult for you. You sound like a very good person grappling with what to do for the best.

When I read about your troubles seeking your parent’s support I was cross on your behalf. I really do think some counseling around what happened to you might help. Muddled feelings are tricky to navigate. I really hope you can find a therapist or counselor to help you. Very best wishes.

Suimai · 04/09/2024 01:05

These replies are absolutely batshit. Op please don’t take any notice of advice from people posting in aibu at 1am. The boy is above the age of consent and your child was 11ffs!! He strategically removed her from the other guests and sexually assaulted her and tried to produce child porn pictures. I’d have taken his head off his shoulders upon finding out! It may not go far depending on the evidence, but I’d definitely report it to the police. It’s doubtful there’s only one little girl he’s done this to, it may help other people if they come forward. You may find there’s already been investigations and this adds to it. It’s fucking disgusting that there’s mums on here that would let their little girls be sexually assaulted, photographed and possibly raped, and think what’s the point of reporting it?

Suimai · 04/09/2024 01:06

Ffs I read that as it was in the 3rd person, not you 🤦🏼‍♀️

Thatcat · 04/09/2024 01:07

You were touched inappropriately as a child. And had someone harass you for sexual favours. I’m sorry that happened. It’s not ok and not nothing.

You could report it for piece of mind, but there would be limited action. He was a child himself and it was some time ago.

it’s still hideously unfair.

tolerable · 04/09/2024 01:14

bet not one of the "nothing to report"crew would say same if similar(god forbid) happened to their daughter.i indeed realise "nothing" happened thats prosecuteble ...now /praps.
you have a (your own)childs memory of it. fear is real. yes you
managing to get away /unable to confide/tell parents/not want to loose your bros only friend...rewrd=he persisted try for "favour"
YOU need to come into the headspace-you didnt do anything wrong. i think your adult fear is what if he continued\persisted\achieved result in searching for favours so its sort of "if"guilt.?

tolerable · 04/09/2024 01:22

sorry hit post..was tryna get to where @Suimai got to. report now-will unlikely be deemed pursueable. UNLESS this predtor rpey behaviour has continued. i would suggest contact nspcc but i am not ve
rsed on this scenario.( there may be better/other posters who can advise support.)it sounds like you are still carry "victim"guilt which u need to get help with i think.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

3beesinmybonnet · 04/09/2024 01:32

I'm also amazed at some of the replies. This was definitely csa - I know because my brother did similar to me, and more, at its worst I was 12 and he was 16. Technically 16 is still a child, but that just means it's child on child sexual abuse. It still has the same effect on the child victim, it doesn't somehow make it OK.

Whether or not anything would happen if you reported it is another matter, I suppose it's impossible to say. Maybe report for your own peace of mind.

I know what you mean about not wanting to worry your parents with it - at the time I felt my parents had enough problems with their constant arguments etc, without burdening them with any problems I was having! Apparently it's a very common response.

Delphiniumandlupins · 04/09/2024 02:01

I'm sorry I don't know what, if anything, would happen if you reported this to the police but can't believe people are saying no crime was committed. You definitely should not feel any guilt or responsibility for what he did, nor for your actions at the time and since.

I think I would report it. If he's led a blameless life since, I don't think your complaint would disrupt that. If he has repeated the behaviour, it might be an important piece of evidence. I'm glad you don't feel too troubled by what happened and I hope you won't have too many expectations either way if you do report.

Kinneddar · 04/09/2024 02:09

I'm really surprised at some of these replies. He touched her over her pants. Nothing else happened because thankfully she had the presence of mind to prevent it.

You certainly could report it but honestly due to the passage of time & you not being sure what happened, it's not likely to go anywhere. But reporting it, being heard may help you.

DragonGypsyDoris · 04/09/2024 06:14

Notsureof · 04/09/2024 00:06

Trigger warning child sexual abuse (sort of)

This is highly identifying so name change etc.

When I was about 11 I went to the 16th (I think it was 16th) birthday party of one of my brother's friends with my family. I knew him quite well as I'd spent a lot of time with my brother and him, they were both autistic at the same specialist school which used to host quite a lot of family events and he and my brother liked to play like D&D style talk through games which I sometimes joined.

Anyway, at the party, he used some pretext to get me to accompany him to his room. He was then very creepy and asked me to show him my pants / take off my pants and wanted to photograph me. I made an excuse that I had promised my parents I would give them one of my sweets (yes really haha), and I was just going to go do that and then I'd definitely come right back. But obviously, I didn't, I hid from him the rest of the party instead. I think he had tried to lift up my skirt and touched me over my pants a very small amount before I basically slithered away from him but altogether, not much happened. My memory on the details is a bit foggy and I have to say I'm not even 100% sure on the ages, though I know that this event definitely happened.

After that party I actually encountered him on many further occasions and he kept asking about "the favour" or some such and trying to get me alone and I kept avoiding him and/or making up flimsy excuses, which were effective. He never got me alone and nothing further ever happened.

I dealt with this entirely by myself and never told anyone in my family. I perceived my mum couldn't handle something like this and didn't want to deal with her reaction. Nor did I want to deprive my brother of one of his only friends. It was another year or so I think and then he and my brother must have finished school, contact ceased, not seen him or heard of him since.

I guess though I found the whole thing unpleasant, frightening and somewhat stressful, but I sort of thought because of his difficulties due to autism (which were not subtle) he didn't know better, or this was a clumsy attempt to act on a crush on me or similar. But then he did clearly know this was a secret thing to be done alone and to be referred to indirectly without other's knowledge - and that's what really worries me.

It's been around 20 years. I've just been thinking - what if he's a paedophile? He's a paedophile right? Even if he's also autistic and quite vulnerable himself. But no crime happened so if I reported it what exactly would happen? He probably does not have the social skills to actually groom / access other children but I just worry what if he somehow does/did and I could have stopped it? Or if he's potentially doing some other crime that harms children such as accessing images of CSA. But equally he may be doing nothing of the sort, living potentially quite a disadvantaged life as someone with autism.

I wish I had made different decisions as a child but the dynamics of my family meant my priority was basically my mum not finding out (long story), and I guess my judgement wasn't the best aged 11!

My recollection of the details is imperfect but I can recall his name and the name of the school he attended but realistically would that be enough to trace him anyway? I would still really struggle with the idea of my parents / brother ever finding out about this.

Is there anyone who works in this area of policing that could advise what would actually come of reporting this?

What would you do?

I guess YABU = forget this
YANBU = report this

It isn't highly identifying because sadly it happens all over the world. A hormone-charged boy with dodgy boundaries tries his luck in an inappropriate and mismatched situation. It's utterly wrong, but I doubt that anything would be done now. Saying that, for your own sake I think it is worth reporting.

AlertCat · 04/09/2024 06:23

I would also say report it. And I would suggest some sort of therapy. Compassionate Inquiry could be really helpful for you (if you haven’t already) x

AnywhereAnyoneAnyTime · 04/09/2024 06:37

Thing is, you say your recollection is sketchy and he may or may not have touched you.

reporting the incident on that basis could have the opposite effect in that instead of giving you closure it could make you feel worse as the authorities are unlikely to do anything.
I do think that you could benefit from some counselling though.

IdgieThreadgoodeIsMyHeroine · 04/09/2024 07:00

Suimai · 04/09/2024 01:05

These replies are absolutely batshit. Op please don’t take any notice of advice from people posting in aibu at 1am. The boy is above the age of consent and your child was 11ffs!! He strategically removed her from the other guests and sexually assaulted her and tried to produce child porn pictures. I’d have taken his head off his shoulders upon finding out! It may not go far depending on the evidence, but I’d definitely report it to the police. It’s doubtful there’s only one little girl he’s done this to, it may help other people if they come forward. You may find there’s already been investigations and this adds to it. It’s fucking disgusting that there’s mums on here that would let their little girls be sexually assaulted, photographed and possibly raped, and think what’s the point of reporting it?

Op please don’t take any notice of advice from people posting in aibu at 1am.

You proved yourself right there, didn't you?

OP, I would definitely report it. The police can then decide what to do with that information.

Catza · 04/09/2024 08:00

There has definitely been a crime. Sexual assault had a much wider definition than penetrative sex - inappropriate touching, soliciting inappropriate imagery from a minor...
Historical sexual abuse cases are taken seriously. I work in MH and often come across people who become ready to speak to the police decades after the assault. And police very much wants to know.
You are an adult now and if you don't want your family to know about it, they won't. The matter is between you and the police.
I would have reported a person who assaulted me long time ago, sadly I no longer have his details. It happened almost 30 years ago and, like you, I moved on but the thought of him doing it to others is sickening.

Startingagainandagain · 04/09/2024 08:41

Some batshit replies on this thread...

You were inappropriately touched as an 11 year old by a much older kid who tried to take dodgy pictures of you and kept on pestering you following the first incident.

And some people think this is OK and no crime was committed? WTF?

OP I would report your concerns to the police to put your mind at rest and tell them that you are speaking out because you are concerned that this man might have continued to do the same thing to other kids throughout his life.

I am so sorry that this happened and that you could not talk to your parents about it.

DaisyChain505 · 04/09/2024 08:55

I’m sorry for all the posters dismissing what happened to you.

this was definitely not ok.

I would go and speak to the police and get their advice. They may run a check on this person and you never know if something else has been flagged about him else where etc and you bringing this to their attention is the thing that connects all the dots.

48Hourss · 04/09/2024 09:31

This was definitely abuse. I dont know at this stage if I'd report it being so long after it happened. Maybe report it in case he's on file for doing other things, but that's probably about it.

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