Parenting an 11 year old

[Failingmum88]

To help me be a better mother to my 11 year old
I'm mum to an 11 year old boy who's behavior I'm struggling with. He's seems to go in a mood very easily,doesn't want to do anything and seems to have no patience anymore and kicks off about what I feel is relatively small things. I'm he is my first and I have no idea how to handle this. His dad is pretty laid back and let's him get away with a lot and I'm definitely the stricter of us both. I don't know how to be a good mother to him anymore and what behaviour to ignore and what to discipline for.

You are at the start of the teenage years - i promise they come back. I can see that my oldest is slowly coming back from the “dark side of the force” 🤣

be consistent, let him experience the natural conquesences of his behaviour, use humour to deflate situations, count to 10 before losing it (i am not very good at it 🤣), brace yourself and pick your battles. It s the hormones and school / friendships are tough at this age.

as long as school works is done, he has a social life and team sports / activities, eat reasonably healthily, he can be grumpy sometimes. Tell him to aknowledge he is in a mood and get some space (his bedroom?) and not take it kn everybody else he will be fine.

meanwhile, see your friends, wnjoy a glass of wine, and brace yourself.

good luck

Yes, been through this twice and mine are both out the other side (24 & 16).

Pick your battles -focus on the essentials. Reasonable manners and hygiene, and schoolwork done. Bed made and room tidy ? Less of a priority - I let that one slide, I must admit.

Try to stay calm, even in the face of provocation - I didn’t always manage that.

Be grateful if the teachers say he’s a pleasure to teach and they definitely aren’t confusing him with someone else…

Only discuss events after they have calmed down. Make sure they are well fed and get a multivitamin into them. Do not accept them talking to you like shit, Be fair and if you can't be fair make sure you sit them down and explain why in age appropriate ways. Always give a reason as to why not for something. Don't expect too much of them and let them sleep in when you can, they really do need it.

My son's a teen, and he is snappy. I tend to let this go and diffuse it by calmly asking him not to snap at me, it seems to work and nothing gets escalated. It's just hormones