If you are studying and working with young children

[Needadvce]

How do you manage if you are working as well as studying with very young children. Got a nearly 3 yo DC and expecting another one, I signed up to a Masters from work pre-children and now it feels such a slog, heavily pregnant right now and have got assignment to submit, I can barely sit due to back pain while my little boy has been on summer holidays for 6 weeks. I have barely managed to work as well as studying while also looking after him. DH has been in between jobs hence on break while also got MIL to help for few weeks, but still I am struggling. DS prefers me over everyone, which isn't making it any easier.
Just reaching out to all the wise women on MN to get any tips on how to cope?

I will be taking maternity leave and will take a break but will need to go back to do dissertation while working next year with 2 young DC. No idea how I will manage.

Giving up is not an option as I have worked very hard for last few years to get to this stage.

To be honest I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t take on that kind of burden as I know my capabilities.

Is there a way you can defer for some time?

I think it’s obviously important to follow professional and personal goals and dreams but you need to be realistic and consider your wellbeing.

I did work and study for my BA and then MA with a full time job (pre wfh), 3 under the age of 6 when I started. Honestly, just lots and lots of help. My parents did way more childcare than was fair and I spent every moment I could when DH was around at the library. I deferred the degree to start when DS3 was 7 months because I couldn’t have managed at all when pregnant.

There is no magic way I am afraid. Just lots of help.

Can you take a study break?

I started a Masters while I was on maternity leave and DS was about 5 months and finished it when DS was 1.5. He's a bit older now (5) and I've just started doing a second Masters. I generally do most of the Masters work in the evenings once DS has/had gone to bed, it would have been less easy with a newborn. I didn't do as well as I could have done but my main aim was to get through it!

Plus lots of late nights.

Well you’ll have to power through then.

You started a course then had two children before completing it - it’s a lot - if you aren’t willing to delay or defer or give up then you need find a way to cope.

I'm in a similar position, started a part time masters via work and then fell pregnant a couple of months later. First year I completed while pregnant which was the toughest tbh and I didn't have a toddler then so hats off to you! Second year I completed on mat leave, I actually quite enjoyed using my brain for something during that time but I couldn't have done it without help. When I had an essay due, typically my mum and Mil babysat for an afternoon a week each and my husband basically did weekends on his own. Baby DD made a fair few appearances on the zoom classes as well! I found in the first two years, it was fairly steady most of the semester and then a couple of weeks full on near the assigned deadlines.

I'm currently working on my dissertation, aiming to submit by the end of the year. Won't lie, it's tough with work and a toddler. We would like a second baby but I'm putting off TTC until after it's submitted because I just don't think I'd cope. And I'll have a reasonable amount of babysitting help again from my mum in the final stages. If I didn't have that, I don't think I could do it. Do you have anyone who could help out? I'm always amazed how much I get done even with just an hour or two of peace!

I done it while mine were 4 and a 9 month old. Hard work, long hours when kids asleep and lots of help from DH and parents.