to think my nursery is a bit crap?

[wolfear]

I've been back at for two months and DS (9mths) has been at nursery. Apart from all the usual new mum/going back to work anxieties I'm not totally happy with the nursery. Don't get me wrong, they're not awful and the girls seem mice enough but it's things like having to hammer home several times certain points, like no dummy unless in bed, times for sleeps and bottles etc, even though I sat down with the room manager before he started and went through his routine and a few points I'd like followed.

The times recorded in his daily diary never match up, like he'll miraculously be having a bottle while he's asleep and having a nappy change while eating his lunch. I know that may sound petty but it seems they're just making up what's going on during the day and it makes me wonder what is really going on.

DS is always knackered and a nightmare after a day at nursery and he's usually very calm and content.

I do understand that they have their work cut out and there's other babies to consider and please feel free to tell me if I'm being unreasonable and expecting too much, but I don't think I am. It's my son's well-being after all.

Has anyone had experience of both nursery and a child minder and can compare? I'm wondering if a home environment is better for DS at this stage.

My DS has been in nursery since he was 6 months old

i think you need to lay it on the line with them - they should be doing what you ask them to do WRT to the dummy. I understand why you are concerned re the timings you are being given and whether it is the tip of a (bigger) iceberg

does your DS have a key worker?

TBH i think it does take time for them to get into the nursery routine, which by its nature is not the same as the one you have at home

DS was always knackered comign home form nursery and would usually have a catnap when he got home - this helped us get through bath and bedtime

YANBU

I've gone off my nursery recently for this reason too. They've suddenly got more babies and new staff, and I get the feeling no one really is that bothered about my son. On the upside, he does come home cheerful. If he wasn't. I'd worry.

I don't think he does have a Key Worker. Sorry to sound naive, but what is it? There's a couple of the same staff every time but a few new faces here and there.

I've worked in a few nurseries and TBH, i wouldn't ever send my children there. None have ever come up to my own standards. one nursery was particularly shocking and the rest were just below standard IMO. Now, this isn't self interest here, but I am a registered childminder and I think the care a good childminder can offer your child is incomparable to care offferd at a nursery. For one thing, a childminder will never have more than 5 other children, its cosy, home from home, and much more personalised consistent care. Childminder's are also highly regulated by Ofsted and are fully trained in first aid and childcare. (not every nursery worker has these qualifications)

You could always ring up a couple of childminders in your area, arrange a visit and see what you think? Same for another nursery.

wolfear, your son will have been assigned a keyworker - they have to follow Birth - to - three matters now I believe and a Key Worker will monitor if he is reaching his milestones or not. You should have frequent catch ups with said key worker, as you would a teacher if your DS was in school.

Ask the room leader who the key worker is then arrange a sit down with that person - you are within your rights, since as you say, its your child's welfare thats being discussed.

Ds is at a lovley nursery but they only take from 18 months (it is also connected to a private school and from all the nurserys i have veiwed its a one in a million), tbh i wouldn't of sent him any earlier to nursery my sil works in one of the most expensive nurserys near us and the things she tell us are unbeliveable.

I think the timings of sleeps and bottles have to be adapted slightly when your child goes to nursery. Obviously not hugely but I don't think you can expect them to do things at exactly the same time as you would do them at home. They have a lot more children and a lot of other factors to accommodate in their day.

I imagine they are doing the diary as and when they can, so the timings don't tally. They should be following your instructions re the dummy though.

FWIW my DD3 is always knackered after a day at nursery, despite having a sleep. I think she's just so much busier there!

Ask to see the manager and raise your concerns, but if the nursery is otherwise good and your son is happy and well cared for then maybe give it a little longer.

Honestly though, does your ds nap at exactly the time you specify at weekends when he is at home with you ?

Little ones get a completely different set of stimuli (sp ?) at nursery and may not be able to wind down for a nap at exactly the same time as they did/do at home.

This in turn can throw their schedule of feeds out of sync.

I would however take them up on the dummy thing as I've found that it really is best if dummies are used only for sleeping or soothing in the event of a trauma of some kind. It could be seen as lazy of the staff to just silence your ds by letting him dummy-suck when really he needs a bit of attention/cuddle.

I probably would also point out to the staff that they must be mixing him up with someone else as the timings of certain routine events contradict each other and if things don't improve mention it to the manager (I've experienced this too and lots of crossings out on diary sheets when staff realise their own mistakes).

I would expect your ds to be knackered as nursery will be very stimulating for him at 9 months and possibly a bit noisy at sleep times too. Both my ds's used to catch up on sleep on non-nursery days with extr long day-time naps.

I have a few niggles about my DS's nursery too, and was wondering if I was being unreasonable. We had a 'pre first day' meeting where I told them I would bring in cows' milk for him, and was told, no we provide cows' milk. Also said I preferred him to have water out of a cup, I gave them an open cup, but said if he seemed to take it better from one of the nursery provided tommy tippee ones, then fine. All this was written down.
A week or so later I was asked 'permission' to try him on a tippee cup. Also, despite asking in the past how much milk he was having, I was asked yesterday whether they could try him on cows' milk.
Am I making a fuss over nothing? Should I ask to go over that initial bit of paper again to clarify?

Elliedeb - my experiences are the opposite of yours! I have been 100% happy with the 2 nurseries I have used and have not had a good experience with childminders. Just goes to show there are good childminders and nurseries, and bad childminders and nurseries. It's about finding what is right for you and your child.

If you're not happy then I would look for alternative childcare although tbh I personally would never use a childminder.

"For one thing, a childminder will never have more than 5 other children," there's a childminder round here who is licenced to have up to 12 children and although she doesn't usually have that many I know she has 8 this holiday.

Wannabe she will never have more than 6 under 8 and anly 3 of them can be under 5, of which only one can be under 1.

Can I ask why you would never use one.

I have worked in Nurseries, and have childminded off and on for over 30 yeasr and would never leave a under 2 in a Nursery.

ellie - my DS;s nursery is outstanding (according to OFSTED) and according to my and my DS's experiences

Stealth - speak to them - minor niggles should be tackled when they are JUST that and before they escalate

wolf - he should have a keyworker as a PP has said

speak to the manager today if you can

I think you need to have a chat about the record-keeping and work out whether they are just a bit crap with the admin or what. Its doesn't make a great impression, but it may not be reflective of the standards of care.

I also think that its unrealistic to expect your ds to keep to his home routine in a nursery environment and the staff are probably responding to his needs in situ. And as you know every child's needs change over time. If you are really committed to the routine thing then a childminder might suit your needs better - or might not - depending on the schedules of the other children they care for.

Just as an aside, I read recently that changing the childcare arrangements too often during a baby's first year can be detrimental, so I wouldn't make the decision lightly.

I don't expect his routine to bang on what it is at home, but I also don't want him to be put to bed only at the point of being so tired he's crying or starving when he gets home because he had his bottle 2 hours early. Before DS started nursery I was determined to be open-minded and trusting of the nursery but it's waning slightly as the experience goes on.

Shoshe - why would you never leave and under 2 in a nursery? Interested in your thoughts...

I agree, speak to them now whilst they are minor issues and hopefully you'll feel better.

As for the diary, like another poster said they probably just complete it as and when they get chance. I would prefer bad paperwork and more time spent with my child personally.

If you are still not happy, then you can look for an alternative option.

I do agree with Shoshe though, I personally wouldnt use a childminder either and would much rather use a nursery if I had too.

As far as I can tell my DS1 (age 2) loves nursery. He is always happy when I go and get him (even when I watch him playing before he sees I am there), he talks about things he does there, he learns a lot more than he would stuck at home with me and the DTs, he eats better there (they cook better than me and he tries new things there). He is normally tired as he sleeps less there and runs round more.

Sorry, that was in reply to lots of people who seem v down on nurseries.

In response to OP, I have recently left my DTs at nursery for a day (they are only 3 months) and found it hard expressing how much I did want them to follow the instructions I left. I am just getting them settled into a routine which is working well (except for today, which is a day from hell), and I didn't want them to cuddle them to sleep / feed them the second they cried etc. They wrote down everything and it looks like they did exactly as I asked (of course they could be lying) but I would be v annoyed if they were way off. I would be esp annoyed about the dummy.

wolf - they shouldn't be giving him his bottle 2 hours before he needs it!

please talk to them now and nip it in the bud

you (said in the generic sense) sometimes really need to hammer home just how much you WANT and NEED certain things to be adhered to without exception - they may think you are chilled/relaxed about things when you aren't

Bloody hell did not realise bottle was two hours early . That is definitely something you need to mention.

It sounds like you are unhappy and need to speak to them and find out why things are not as you discussed in advance. If you arent satisfied then you need to think about your options. I agree that there are probably great childminders (I havent used one) and poor ones and the same goes for nurseries. I preferred nurseries because having a number of staff around has certain advantages and they are also regulated.

For under two's, I just feel they need more of a home enviroment, they are not in one room, (maybe with a hour in the garden) all day.

They bond better with one person, and they dont have 4 key workers in a year (turnover of Nursery staff is notoriously quick).

Childminders ARE regulated (if you want more than just Ofsted, I suggest you look for a CM, that ids on a Network, their Supervisor, will visit them often)

As for sickness cover. I have had 7 days off in the last 7 years, give out my holiday dates in January, so most of my parents take their holidays at the same time.

My mindees (and their parents) become very much part of the family.

CM's tend to be older (I am a Grandmother), all do training after the intial training.
Nursery workers often are teenagers, who are often more intrested in what they are going to do that evening, than in what the children are doing.

Instructions, given to a CM, are given to the CM, not to the Room Manager, who then forgets to actually give the instruction to the girls in the room (feel this is what might have bhappened with the OP).

Over two's now, I feel get so much out of Nursery. (My mindees dont go as I'm aceditted, and I feel they miss out on the social skill).

I would recommend the OP trust her instincts on this. I would look around for another nursery to move DS too (or childminder if this is what appeals). I wouldn't bother trying to lay it on the line with the current nursery - I think nurseries are either 'fab' or not, and no amount of pointing out errors will change the culture if it is not a fab place.

Saying that, I would not by hugely concerned unless he starts getting really upset or clingy or soemthing 'worse' comes to light - your niggles smack of the carers being too busy and that's a lot less of a problem than having carers who don't care. I would just hunt round for other options, ask other parents for recommendations and then move him when you find somethign you instinctively feel is better. This is something to be concerned about yes, not something that you need to panic about (on current evidence).

shoshe my DS1 is based in one room at nursery but spends time in two other different main rooms, as well as a sensory room, plus as much time in the garden as poss (weather permitting). He is over 2 now but has been there since 18 months.

He seemed to really thrive as soon as he started going. He became a lot more sociable, his speech got waaaaay better and he was more open to trying new things (this could have just been his age and these things might have happened anyway). He has also had the same girls looking after him since he started (7 months ago), nobody has changed except the cook.

I would be concerned if I were you. If it doesn't feel right, take him out.
Myds (3.4) and my dd (11 months) have both been with a fab chimldminder since they were 5 months. They adore her and she is a very important person in their lives. She has never, ever done anything I disagree with and had always followed all my instructions, however crazy they may have seemed. She does so much with them both in her own home and at various groups and places of interest. I see it really as an extension of their home life and I would never, ever change it.