Been with DH for 12 years. We have two girls, youngest is 3.
He’s always been sensible and risk adverse and I have always been impulsive and excitable but now some of his overruling on joint decisions are making me feel trapped and tbh a bit depressed. I am nearing 40 and I think I suddenly feel like you only live once and am I truly happy?
We are a low income family. I started my own cleaning business 2 years ago which is going great, although I can only work part time at the moment due to childcare. I love my job. He works for the NHS in a band 2 position.
We live in a house rented to us by his family, we didn’t choose the house or location and we have to ask them to make changes to the house (and they are a pretty controlling bunch) however the house will he his when his family member passes away.
We would really like more space, more garden and to be more in the country.
Recently I have been looking at options and social housing, in our city this takes years (6+) but we are on the list and I bit regularly. Someone I know suggested I look at other local authorities, all you need is a local connection and you can apply there too. My whole family live in Suffolk so I could make an application there, which would like be much much quicker.
I approached DH with my idea, saying that would he consider moving in 4/5 years (assuming the wait was that long) ? thinking he would consider it or ask for some time to think. It was a straight no. He said he would not want to move away from his parents. His parents are in their 60’s, we see them probably every 2 weeks and they live 10mins down the road. They have also expressed interest in moving at some point.
I do understand his reservations, but I am feeling frustrated that he won’t even give this idea the time of day.
Now this has sent me spiralling remembering every time he has vetoed an idea that I’ve had and would I be happier being able to make my own decisions. I just feel a bit trapped, stuck.
AIBU?