I have a difficult relationship with my sister and have had since we have become adults. It goes through periods of being quite stable and then times where she seems to behave unpredictably. At these times, she will be quite condescending or ‘off’ with me. Definitely knows she is doing it and think it stems from her own insecurities- things like criticising how long I have decided to take off for maternity leave, grilling me as to whether I have made any mum friends yet and repeating how lonely and miserable I’ll be if I don’t. About a week ago she was asking me every other day.
Another example. She told me she wanted a new pair of shoes, a specific brand. I said ‘at the shops I tried on a similar pair today, they’d go with that outfit you had’ and sent her the link. The same price as the ones she told me she wanted. She then pulled a 360 and saying ‘I’d love to own those but gosh that is far too expensive I will order knock offs on Shein for a fiver’. (Her financial position is streets ahead of mine, and she knows it, so is this supposed to show me up?)
She keeps joking about certain baby stages and saying comments like “at 10 weeks I wanted to put -nieces name- on eBay” and “at the 4 month regression we nearly got a divorce, we’ve never argued nearly as much so brace yourself’
When it grates on me, I step back and don’t text or call her as often, but she will appear - unsure if genuine or acting - very confused, bewildered and abandoned and then declare she is more bothered about me than I am about her and she feels rejected and needs more than I give her.
All of it feels like hard work and mind games and not something I can sustain for my own mental health, especially as a new mum. I am sensitive though so it’s a good chance that I need to learn to lighten up a bit and not take things as seriously.
How would you suggest I navigate this? She’s a lovely person, I’m wondering if it is simply a personalities clash here but want to work around it. Has anyone experienced something similar with a relative of yours?