Garden Hell

[Aelathehuntress]

I’m buying a house from a family member. The garden is basically a jungle. It’s an overgrown mess but was initially planted with love & my family member wants to dig up & take things which are massive including 20+ year old trees. We really need to get the garden cleared but my (beloved) family member is procrastinating & when I ask what things they want to take they are umming & ahhing & not taking much action. Last summer I spent hours cutting the garden back & said don’t let it go out of control again, if you want to take things do it now. Nothing was done & it’s back to out of control & they don’t even seem to know exactly what plants they want. I’m frustrated & feel they should just let it go. It’s going to be too hard to dig all this stuff up & costly to hire someone. Of course there will need to also be considerable holes dug at my family members other home to replant all this stuff. So…

YANBU- They should let it go. Start again in their new garden & this time don’t let it get overgrown.

YABU- Family member should be able to take as long as they need to take the plants they want. Even if it puts us way behind schedule with the move etc.

I would also like to add I really love my family member & don’t want to upset them in any way. It’s a really tricky situation but I’m desperate to get this garden sorted now.

Thanks in advance.

Thanks all. I’m not worried about falling out with my relative or being screwed over by them. I’m not going to do anything to upset them over this. They mean more to me than some plants. They have their own house already & the internal work is more or less done on the house. I think the way forward is try one more time to persuade that moving the big stuff is unrealistic to help save relative stress/money. I’m not trying to be pushy at all, I just want to find a good way forward. It does pain me to be having to get rid of the trees & hedges (will be in middle of the lawn)but they are in the most awkward places for what we want to do. I will choose some fitting plants to honour the ones I have to get rid of & plant them where it will look good & not be in the way. I also think maybe like a pp said we should buy the house then deal with it.