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for not speaking to my MIL until she apologises (very, very long...sorry)

25 replies

WonkyAngel · 18/04/2008 11:36

I've never started a thread on MN, but have posted on other people's a little bit. Here goes...

I've been in the UK for 7 years, moved here with my husband (British) and lived with my MIL for 3 months before we could afford our own place.

She has always been difficult and have had an on and off drinking problem for about 20 years. Since her husband (dh's dad) left her and moved to SA. She's never forgiven him, is very bitter and have never got over it or made a new life for herself.

Most of our contact was instigated by me. Reminding dh to ring her, the sort of thing most of have to remind our dh's to do. She never reciprocates or make an effort.

We became closer and I started to be her shoulder to cry on and tried to help her through her depression and drinking. She felt confident enough in our relationship to ring me when she was really down and had too much to drink. For almost a year I dropped everything and rushed to her house at all hours when she rang (drunk) saying she felt suicidal.

She would call the paramedics (drunk) and go to A&E. Quite a few times this happened and I'd go to hospital where she would be wearing nothing but a nightgown (and I mean nothing!) and hurling drunken abuse at the nurses, docters and everyone in her life.

After her release from hospital after another episode in July last year, she lied to me about a few things. I had always said to her that I will help where I can as long as she's honest. I told her numerous times that I truly understand that alcoholism cannot be fixed overnight and her relapses were okay with me as long as she was honest.

I confronted her about the lies and she ended up calling me at work, at 9am to tell me to say good bye to everyone and that she'll miss them, but she's killing herself now.

I couldn't take a chance and my boss let me go to her. She was horrendously drunk and argumentative. I wanted her to sleep it off, she refused. I stupidly got into an argument with her and when I came downstairs from the bathroom she had a huge carving knife in her hands and was trying to cut her own wrists. We struggled for the knife and it was an awful few minutes where i thought one of us was going to get hurt and my ds might end up without a mum.

I called her friend 'P' to come and help me while i was hiding anything that she could use to hurt herself with. It was an awful day. She hurled abuse at us, called me a bitch over and over again. Cried. Screamed. Felt sorry for herself. In the end she took some tablets while we weren't looking. Kept smirking and telling us she'd taken more, while we searched for any tablets she'd been hiding and calling her GP. The GP advised us to take her to A&E.

A&E said she'd have a psyche evaluation in the morning. Like all her other trips to hospital she convinced them she was fine the following day and got released.

Then she went on the warpath. Called me to say we needed to talk about the disgusting treatment I was putting her through. That the hospital was laughing at me for taking her in for an atempted suicide when she took some painkillers for her back.

Said the knife incident was purely for effect and to wind me up.

Said she was reporting me to the police for ransacking her house (whilst looking for pills, I might add). And that she reported me to her GP's and that they will never speak to me again.

Said that I was a stupid, silly little girl for ever thinking she'd kill herself.

This phonecall was at 6:30 in the morning, by 9 o'clock she was drunk and rang me at work for a chat (like nothing has happened), and was truly perplexed when I said I couldn't speak to her.

The week that followed was a nightmare. She'd ring us 20 times a night talking us through her various suicide attempts. Telling us there was blood on the floor. We called her bluff each time and she's still with us.

She has since told anyone that would listen, that I bully her.

That I used to snoop in her things when we lived there and treated her like a slave.

That I blackmail her with seeing her grandson. (I did say she couldn't see him when she'd been drinking, but that was the only condition.)

That I used to do 'other' things when ds visited her on his own on Saturdays. Something she asked for btw. I'm unsure of what she expected me to do?

And the clincher - that I stole money from her.

The worst for me was when her friend 'P' refused to buy her more vodka and she threatened to call his employers and tell them he had been abusing her. He is a careworker and it could've ruined his life.

I was scared of her then. I didn't know what she was capable of. I couldn't sleep. I was constantly on edge. Jumping when the phone rang, at work or at home. Expecting her to send social services round with lies.

It was a truly horrible time.

She went into detox in October. (Although she still drinks.) Has since been told by everyone what she put me through (she claims not to remember) and that she really oughto apologise to me. She refuses pointblank saying it was only the drink talking.

She sits in my house visiting her son and my ds and we don't speak. The atmosphere is awful and I usually go out. Recently she's started to make small talk with me as if nothing ever happened. I have been refusing to be anything other than civil. I greet her and say 'hmm' to her chitchat and leave the room.

We are moving back to SA in 3 weeks time. We had been undecided on the move for a few years and she was the only reason we were staying, but her behaviour since July has changed our minds.

My question is this: Should I really be the bigger person and speak to her, given that we are moving 5000 miles away from her anyway? I feel a tiny bit of guilt still, but my rational side thinks, what for? All the effort in our relationship has always come from me. I feel as if the 6 years i had known and cared for her had been a lie as she clearly never liked me from the start. But I was closest (geographically) to come running and the rest of her family had heard it all before and had given up helping.

If I forgive and forget (the way her family has done for the past 20 years), I am condoning her behaviour. I believe everyone is allowed to be down and not always nice to other people, but I believe you make your own choices and you have no right to treat people the way she did me. Not without an apology afterwards.

Am I being petty?

OP posts:
Libra1975 · 18/04/2008 11:41

Personally I don't think you are being unreasonable at all, in fact you perserved much longer than I and I think most people would have. I don't have much experience with alcholism but I thought one of the steps of getting clean is taking responsibility for your past actions and apologising. You say she still drinks, I would continue to ignore her with a clean conscience the fact you even let her visit her grandson still I think is a enough.

bringmesunshine · 18/04/2008 11:42

I personally would go and see her before you go and then you know that you did a good thing.

She is an adult who has to be responsible for her actions alone.

Good luck with the move to SA - we are moving out there next year

WonkyAngel · 18/04/2008 11:45

Thank you.

Sorry it was so long.

I agree with both of you, libra and bringmesunshine. But I have been doubting myself since she started talking to me. I think a talk with is definately on the cards before we go.

Which part in SA are you going to bms?

OP posts:
ninedragons · 18/04/2008 11:46

Jesus, you poor thing.

Not having had this detonate in my life, I would be inclined to take the high road and speak to her. She is clearly very sick. But there's no reason you can't set up a few barriers to protect yourself and your own family. Personally I'd try for genial-yet-detached, but I know that's easier said than done.

And let/make your husband take on more of the burden.

stuffitllama · 18/04/2008 11:46

You are not being petty, of course not. She should apologise.

But this bitterness could stay with you for ever, and you are the only one that will be damaged by it. If you can't be the bigger person for her (impossible, after what she has put you through) do it for yourself. You will feel a sense of release afterwards. You will owe her nothing. You can leave with a clear conscience.

Tell her how she has hurt you and that despite this you will talk to her. She will not have won anything -- you will have won, because you don't care what she thinks of you, and because you are the better person.

Would like to send you strength and good vibes. You sound lovely.

Bridie3 · 18/04/2008 11:49

I have alcoholics in my family too. It's a rollercoaster--the long telephone conversations ,etc.

You have done so much for her. Time to let you. Genial-yet-detached is just right.

Good luck--you deserve to be happy and quiet somewhere else.

thornrose · 18/04/2008 11:50

Gosh I posted about my minor problems with ex MIL, but your story is amazing. I don't think you are being petty AT ALL. You have persevered and in my opinion gone beyond the call of duty.
I would visit just before you leave as your final act of "kindness" so you can't be accused/blame yourself later of abandoning her.
I don't think you're forgiving and forgetting I think you're "moving on" perhaps thinking that way may make it feel less like you're condoning her behaviour?

hecate · 18/04/2008 11:50

I wouldn't bother with her. I am a very forgiving and tolerant person and actually let a lot more go than most people I know, but still, there's a line and when someone finally crosses it, that's it, I'm done with them and I never change my mind - they could find jesus, be on deaths door and begging for me, whatever, but what they've done they've done and it can never be undone. So I wash my hands and forget about them. If they care or not, if they move on or if they cry every night with the regret, well, I don't care. I really think that would be my attitude to the situation you describe.

Miggsie · 18/04/2008 11:51

She is very lucky you stuck by her all that time when she was behaving so badly.
If she still drinks then she has never taken responsibility for her actions and won't until she stops drinking.
My BIL was a complete git to us for years, he finally came off drink and drugs and last year he wrote us a little note to say "thanks" for everything we had done for him. He was horrifed by the things he had done and is now reformed. We were stunned and thrilled and now we all get on fine now, he is a different person.

Your mum sounds like she is not at this stage and she may never be. An apology would actually help her just as much as you, if she can't see this then you can't make her.

YANBU, these things happened and they cannot be swept under the carpet just because she wants to. If she can't take responsibility for what she has done you and apologise then I think you have done your bit and you need to consider your own family unit.
Good luck with the move to SA.

bringmesunshine · 18/04/2008 11:52

We will be half an hour from Cape Town. Only got back last week after visiting family, hate the weather and the fact it is hard to be outside for much of the year. Roll on 2009

I think you are a saint for having put up with soooo much this far. You should have a clear conscience, others directly related in the family have done much less than you.

Whereabouts will you be based?

WonkyAngel · 18/04/2008 12:03

Thanx everyone!

I think I'll have a little chat to her about it before I go. Nothing heavy, more for my own peace of mind and to 'let go'.

I truly believe that she doesn't know the meaning of taking responsibility for her own life. And I truly believe she never will, which is why I thought 'what's the point?'

I actully am a bit like you, Hecate. Which is why we've managed to be around each other for the past 9 months without speaking. I feel she's pushed me too far, although I usually am tolerant and forgiving.

My dh has been brilliant I must add. he has completely taken my side and have told her in no ucertain terms that she made her bed with me and must lie in it. That I am within my rights to never speak to her again and the only reason she is still seeing her grandson is through my generosity. He said that if I chose to withold contact, he would be behind me.

BMS - we're moving to JHB. It's where the job is, but not really my first choice. Luckily the suburb we're staying in has the lowest crimerate in the city, so I'm a little more at ease. Yes - Bring on the Sunshine!!

OP posts:
DirtySexyMummy · 18/04/2008 12:24

Have no better advice to offer than has already been, FWIW I agree mostly with Miggsie.

I just wanted to add that I think you sound like an amazing person, and you have done a lot more for her than you had to. You sound wonderful.

Good luck in SA, I hope your life is brighter there.

startingoveragain · 18/04/2008 12:30

hijack dirty sexy mmmy fab name

and wow you are so much a better person than me i think you can hold your head high and say yo were the better person and alot more so than i ever could be.

i think if it makes you feel better talk to her but i cant see how it would personally i think it will just wind you

i hope your new life is fab in sa

bringmesunshine · 18/04/2008 12:35

Well if you are in C/T from 2009 give me a shout!

justabouta · 18/04/2008 12:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WonkyAngel · 18/04/2008 13:39

Thanx bms Gin and same for when you're in JHB!

OP posts:
WonkyAngel · 18/04/2008 13:41

Lol! Just saw I typed gin instead of grin!!
I think my subconcience know I could surely do with some gin!

OP posts:
harmonycremona · 18/04/2008 13:43

Hi Wonky,
You have my total sympathy here, this is very similar to the situation with my MIL, like you Ive tried so hard and had it all thrown back in my face so many times, dh is caught in the middle, so for his sake I keep things cordial on the surface, but in my mind she doesnt even exist..harsh I know, but thats the only way I can cope..

I would take the same approach with your MIL, like the others have said, say goodbye politely and move on with your own lives.. I know thats easier said than done because she's still his mum..let her know where you are if she wants to sort her life out at some stage and make amends..youve done all you could do, leave the ball in her court and put your family and yourself first now..
good luck with your move, hope it all works out well, best wishes

WonkyAngel · 18/04/2008 14:36

Thanx harmony. Yes, she knows where we're going and will come and visit in a few years. Up untill a few months back this thought filled me with horror and my dh said that she will stay in a hotel rather than under the same roof as me.

I must have come a long way though as I don't dread her visit so much anymore and might even let her stay with us

OP posts:
PembsLass · 27/04/2008 16:18

Sounds like she has a borderline personality disorder (bpd) on top of the drinking-the two often go hand in hand.

I found this book helpful:
www.amazon.co.uk/Stop-Walking-Eggshells-Borderline-Personality/dp/157224108X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=bo oks&qid=1209309438&sr=8-1

On the whole though people with bpd are best avoided because you can't help them and they'll only keep hurting you.

FrannyandZooey · 27/04/2008 16:23

she would never come into my house again under any circumstances
I am a hard old bitch though

muppetgirl · 27/04/2008 16:54

She sounds a little like my mother. I was so fed up with the drunken phonecalls and the denials of them ever hapening that we bought an asnwer phone for her to scream down and fill tape after tape with her vileness....

This is a hard situation to be in I do understand that, I chose to tell my mother that I would be having nothing more to do with her as I couldn't take her alocoholism anymore. Considering the past it was a remarkably quiet conversation. I said I had tried many times but couldn't deal with the emotional blackmail anymore. My brothers and I no longer have contact with her and haven't for eight years. I am married with 2 son's and my brothers no longer live in this country and one has 2 children also. I chose to end it because she never could. I neeeded some calm and are very grateful she is no longer in mine or my children's lives. Yes, you do only get one mother but why should you put up with abusive behaviour?
I also wrote a letter and kept a copy so she could never say that she didn't know my feelings. I feel better for having made the decision and only had moments of regret when my children were born as I missed having a mother at that time. I did not miss my mother.

You have really tried to help in a very difficult situation. I would go to SA having told her exactly why you cannot have her I your lives anymore but in as polite a way as you can. As someone else has said, she is an adult who is repsonsible for her own decisions and is in this situation because of the decisions she has made.

cupsoftea · 27/04/2008 16:58

I wouldn't see her - write a letter instead. I'd worry she would do something awful. I'd also not tell her the true date I was leaving.

WonkyAngel · 01/05/2008 16:24

I have only just noticed there was more replies since I've last looked. Thank you.

Pembslass - Funnily enough, I stumbled on borderline personality disorder and thought it fitted her perfectly. Her sister and dh disagrees, so I've left it at that.

cupsoftea - I wrote her a letter not long after it happened. Detailing what she did (incase she couldn't remember) and what effect it had on me, why I couldn't contemplate having any kind of relationship with her, unless she took responsibily(sp) for her actions. Her sister, friend (who was there) and dh each has a copy.

The deal was that when she approaches me to discuss the matter, I were to give her the letter so that she fully understands. Problem is, she has never approached me about it and refuses to even discuss it now, so it took the wind out of all our sails a bit.

Nevermind, we are flying in 10 days time and I will be rid!

Unfortunately she knows when we are flying already and I am a bit anxious to see what she does.

OP posts:
WonkyAngel · 01/05/2008 16:26

Sorry, just to clarify - it's my dh I am refering to. She doesn't have a dh.

OP posts:
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