To think this is more than enough for DD7's birthday?

[augustbettycardigan]

A friend asked me what I was buying DD7 for her birthday as she didn't want to double buy for her party later. When I showed her, she was immediately shocked.

This is what DH and I bought her:

DH and I have bought her:
a Barbie sequin notebook = £5
a mini LOL bubble surprise = £4.50
an art and craft scrapbook kit = £6
a unicorn hair styling kit = £6
electronic toy dog = £9
a mermaidcoin surprise egg (it is huge) = £13
a barbie unicorn doll = £3
a kinder harry potter surprise egg = £1.50
2 sparkly princess dresses = £21

In total around £70 I think.

I feel like this is a perfectly reasonable amount. DD7 has got about this amount for her 5th and 6th and never complained. Majority of it is things she actually requested and then we threw in a few extra bits as well. But my friend thinks she should have one big gift alongside all the littles ones. I don't even know what I'd get her - she has an ipad, headphones for music, her own picture camera, a kids microphone etc. I'm happy to get her whatever she wants and that's what I did. I then chose other stuff that I think she'd love and would actually come into use as a lot of the time, she gets bored of her toys and they'd go to waste.

She is also going to get lots and lots of presents from family friends as we are doing gatherings with them. And she will have a class party (that my friend is going to) with at least 20 kids depending on how many will come and that is a ton of presents too. Majority of the time, we have to put presents in the loft as it's just too much for her to play with.

I just feel like the friend was judging me a LOT and mentioned how her kids always got new electronics. She has an 7 year old and a 10 year old and her 7 year old is lovely but her 10 year old is completely spoiled. She is allowed every junk food and every plastic toy she asks for and her ipad is always breaking so she gets new ones. I just think that is ridiculous because my daughter's ipad has lasted 3 years so far and is still in good condition. I just feel guilty that I'm not spending enough on my daughter now.

Am I Being Unreasonable?

I have one turning 7 next week and it's really the first year of her writing a list/thinking a bit more about what she wants.

A small Barbie set (£20.99)
A pack of Aero chocolate (£1)
A small Playmobil set (£7)
A dress (£21.99)
A series of books she likes in a collection (£15.99)
An electronic toothbrush (£12.99)
A pencil case from Smiggle (no idea, DH was on it)

And we have gotten her a new Squishmallow (£8).

I have to say it felt a bit odd not to have a big ticket item on there (a bicycle etc) - but she doesn't need anything.

That is much too extravagant for us. Ours get a trip to the library, so they can borrow a book or two. Please think of the planet.

I thought you were going to say she was judging you because you were buying so much. That is more than enough! With all the other gifts she will be inundated. I think you need to watch some minimalist channels for some perspective to balance out the consume, consume, consume craziness.

I don’t have an issue with big piles of presents at Christmas ,my issue is a big pile of stuff that won’t get used / gets used once and ends up in landfill just so you can say your child has a big pile of gifts .

@TheWayTheLightFalls That is such a lovely set of presents, my daughter would love that to.

@MasterBeth Sorry, I'm a bit confused?? Do you mean your children just get to go to the library for their birthday and only borrow a book?

Why do you care what your friend thinks?

I think you were reasonable to question your friend's choices.

You are being more than generous with your DD, and hopefully this will help avoid having a spoilt bratty teenager in a few years.

@augustbettycardigan, that poster is being sarky I think.

Oh right, sorry, it seems so obvious now!!! I didn't realise.😂

I'd probably give half the number of presents and spend £20-30. Your friend is judgey and I'd just ignore her.

I think @MasterBeth is being sarcastic (at least I hope so)

I realise it wasn't very nice of me to judge her for her parenting style when I said I didn't want to be judged so I apologise for that but I think it's just annoying that she seems to think I don't spend enough on my daughter.

There's no need to apologise, you've been honest and that's refreshing.

But normally when one mother judges another, the other one will judge right back.

So if your friend has picked up on your judginess, this is what it can lead to.

You should both probably knock it on the head, and go back to being supportive, good friends.

Sounds about the equivalent of what ds3 (7) gets on his birthdays.

We also have two older dc (16 and 14) and for both of their last birthdays they wanted money (boring!). They got cash but then I ended up spending about £20 on bits (socks, favourite sweets, nice toiletries etc) just because it felt wrong them not having something to unwrap!

Ooohhhh I love the competitive underspending!

You know whether your DD would prefer little gifts or just one big thing .

I’d probably have spent the budget on one larger ticket item rather than lots of little junky bits.

@Flipsock but the OPs child didn't want something that's larger. The OP has bought her items that she has asked for.
What's the point in getting something the child might not be very interested in and might not get used?

How would you feel about pooling together with friends and family to gift your children an experience rather than lots of little novalty gifts which ultimately end up unused and at the bottom of a basket! xxx