To worry about this?4year old

[Micemice]

Have a just turned 4 year old who has delayed speech, hearing loss as a toddler due to glue ear which we had grommets fitted privately and hearing levels ok now. Has had private speech and language therapy sessions for 18mths - still waiting on NHS appointments though don’t think these will add anything as in my area they aren’t actual therapy sessions but advice for parents basically of what to implement. For the last 2 years we’ve heard the full range of ohh don’t worry it’ll come, they all catch up etc etc. However child has now started preschool ( thankfully P1 delayed a year) and the difference to their peers is just so so noticeable. Other kids making comments that they can’t understand her etc. pec and signs were used in toddler stage but their preference is to verbally communicate then gets frustrated when people don’t understand.
I am worried this is going to impact them for life as know the importance of early intervention and the gap between peers is a lot. Has an IEP at preschool and will continue with S&L sessions after a short break over summer . There has been a lot of progress over the last year and I hope this continues.

was explaining to a friend that I was worried about this all and she said I was overreacting and all be ok.
From those that have experience with speech delay/ concerns what do you think.

aibu- calm down still time for lots of progress no need to worry.

yanbu- you’d be worried about this too if was your child.

No experience as a parent OP, but I can tell you that my DSis started school aged almost 5 with no one able to understand her outside the immediate family. By 7 you wouldn’t have known any difference between her and anyone else in the class. She was a bit behind academically those first few years and my parents got her a tutor outside of school. She ended up achieving just fine by the end of primary and went onto do well in her GCSEs etc. I’m sure my parents were very worried at the time but it did all work out.

I of course would worry as a parent, so you’re not unreasonable to whatsoever, but seeing progress is the main thing and that’s what you have to keep telling yourself. What is the speech therapist’s take on this?

My daughter had a speech delay due to glue ear. Plus she’s a twin and twins often have speech delay anyway so she had it against her. She’s almost 7 now, not as eloquent as her brother who came out the womb babbling 🤣 but there is not any noticeable difference compared to her peers.

My middle child was a late talker and when he did no one could understand what he said - even his dad would ask me what he was saying.

He had speech therapy, which as you say, on the NHS just involved telling me what sounds to practise etc.

At the start of infant school, his speech was awful, by the end of infant school he was the narrator in Nativity. As an adult, he has two degrees so it obviously didn’t hold him back, and no one would ever know.

What I’m trying to say is, no one on here can tell you how your child’s speech will progress but just keeping talking to them and asking questions.

Oh you poor thing. I absolutely relate to your plight because DD also had significant speech delay due to glue ear. She was two and a half when diagnosed. And I was worried about her speech not progressing as well as her inability to hear. My friend’s son is deaf and it was, in fact, she who’d said, “I think your DD can’t hear.” That really impacted her speech.
At that time, the protocol in my area was not to use grommets. So we waited for her glue ear to resolve itself and it was agonising because her glue ear didn’t resolve itself until she was five.

She had the speech and language therapy which really helped but I think that DD’s inability to hear left her very shy and unable to know how to kickstart communication. It left her sort of socially inept. She had missed out, at a crucial time in her development, on learning social skills and cues. She couldn’t hear as both ears were significantly affected.

Time really helped. Her glue ear had totally resolved itself in reception and by the end of it, she was absolutely fine and had a good circle of friends. Communication came easily as her confidence grew.
She’s 14 now and we spent three hours out and about yesterday. She complained the ENTIRE time. She’s such a chatterbox and she’s really excelling at leaning hard into being a vocally grumpy teen. 😆 So, I am here to tell you that your DD will continue to thrive and her speech will totally get there.
Your DD is progressing. It takes time. But I’ve no doubt that by reception, you’ll have almost forgotten she had speech delay. 💐

As her mum, it is absolutely understandable that you are worried. You sound like a brilliant mum who has already gone out of your way to get help for your daughter.

The fact that she wants to communicate verbally is a good sign.

Keep on with the speech and language and encouraging her at home.

There is definitely hope that she will progress!

When I started school (I'm 37 now so going back a while!) there was a boy in my reception class who had severe speech delay - he would talk but you couldn't understand him.
He had had nothing like the help your daughter has had prior to starting school and he left part way through reception to go to a specialist centre for a while.

He returned part way through Y1 and it was honestly like a different child - able to speak perfectly clearly.

My DS2 had no speech at 4. (Had grommets twice on the NHS) and when he started talking no one could understand him... he was about 8 or 9 before anyone outside the family understood him, as he also had weak muscle tone and it affected his ability to make speech sounds and he drooled constantly. He did have speech therapy.

He now works in retail, talks to hundreds of people daily and you would never ever know he had a severe speech delay :)

Children change and develop so much, hang in there!

I have a DC the same age and one a couple of years older. I don't think it's so unusual for speech to still be a little hard to understand at this age. I wouldn't think it strange if I couldn't understand one of DD's friend's speech. The range of "normal" wrt speech is so big.

Definitely no harm to be aware and keep an eye given their history but I wouldn't be panicking.

You are so on this! With private SaLT and grommets you are doing all the right things, and getting the building blocks in place is the key with SaLT. Apologies for mixing metaphors but we were told the actual speech sounds are not even the icing on the cake but the cherry on top. This can be very frustrating when you are still in the stage of making the cake batter!

Progress can be rapid, spiky and your child still has a lot of time. All the kids I know whose speech was impacted enough to have an EHCP for it in YR were discharged back to mainstream by about Y3. Keep doing the right things, you've got a lot of input to help him and I don't think it's minimising to say there is a good chance he will progress and catch up. It might not be easy socially but infant age children are pretty accepting, and friendships do chop and change all through primary.

When my DS started school it was virtually impossible to understand him. His childminder and I could understand enough to have short conversations, but nobody else.

We had NHS speech and language sessions weekly for 6 months before he started school. They didn't help at all.

When he started school he had the speech and language sessions there with a TA, and they followed the Jolly Phonics programme. By February of Reception year his speech was completely normal, and has been ever since.

I think it may well have contributed to issues making friends (because they couldn't understand him), but he also missed half of Reception and some of Year 1 due to Covid, so that is probably also a co tribute factor. At Year 3 we moved him to a new school for a fresh start and he's made friends just fine.

Academically he is very bright. Despite not being able to articulate words he could certainly understand them!

If you're doing all you can to help him, then try not to worry about the future. It may well all resolve itself as it did for my son. If they don't resolve, then you know you have done all you can along the way to help. Worrying doesn't help anyone

Thank you everyone, it’s been so helpful to hear all the different experiences and positives so thank you! I am definitely comparing to her older sibling who was speaking so well so early but you’re all right plenty of time and the support is there. I have had a few unhelpful comments from people recently that have shook me such as you need to sort their speech before school etc etc as if it was that easy! Also I was probably thrown a little this week when the preschool put in the IEP and it was focusing on the areas of weakness whereas I was saying they’ve made such progress in the last 6 months so I’m hopeful the next 6months will be the same and so on. Their sibling can be unkind when in bad form with them so need to keep that in check so doesn’t effect their self esteem. Thanks for all your comments and positivity, have a great day!

The nursery should help in communication with peers. You mention p1 so you're in Scotland, children who turn 5 after school starts in August ( so around August 14th) can be deferred an extra year so your little one wouldn't have to start until 2026 depending on their birthday, giving them more time to catch up