To not want matching engagement rings?

[NeedingAGoodNap]

My partner and I have been talking about getting married so have been looking at engagement rings.

Initially she didn’t want a ring but then later decided she wanted a wider band style.

I selected a ring I loved, a 1 carat Dimond solitaire on a platinum band.

A few months later we went shopping again for her and she ended up liking a 1 carat Dimond solitaire on a platinum band.

To me, they look pretty much the same so I’m not impresssed. I know I am likely being unreasonable but I don’t really want to having matching rings. We are very different people with very different styles. To me it somehow feels less special.

AIBU to start looking for a different style ring now?

Assuming that you’re both female.

Diamond solitaire is the classic choice for an engagement ring. Most women have this, and they all have different styles and personalities. It would probably be more unusual to have something different to that.

If there’s no other ring you’d prefer, just accept that your rings will be similar to each other’s and to the majority of women.

Yes you're being a bit unreasonable and tbh this doesn't bode very well does it?

Not sure what that is meant to mean…

You can manage a guess? This person supposedly means so much to you that you want to marry them, yet you begrudge their choice of ring. Which will not impact your life a single bit, by the way. Instead of being happy for them that they have found a ring they love, you're "not impressed." Your partner was obligated to impress you with thier choice of ring?

To me it somehow feels less special

That's a You problem.

Are you sure she’s the love of your life?

On reflection, I am being unreasonable. I think because I wanted a completely different ring initially and was talked out of it (I wanted an aquamarine stone) I am being over sensitive.

I’m with @BeatsAntique on this. You chose a fairly obvious and ubiquitous ring for the era we live in now. It’s can’t be a huge surprise that your fiancée chose something similar.

I’m also a lesbian so I get the horror of matchy matchy but I don’t think she has a case to answer here.

Oh sorry, OP, I’ve just seen your latest post.

How come you were talked out of the aquamarine? Is it too late to change it? I wasn’t sure from your first post whether you’d bought yours or not.

@Rainallnight its apparently not a good gem for everyday wear. It would be fine for days in the office or out and about but apparently not great for wearing around the house, to the playground as it can be damaged easily.

it’s my dream ring but just not practical.

My ring has been ordered but its still possible to cancel without any financial penalty

If you wanted a different stone because you’d like a ring that’s not typical sapphires, rubies and emeralds all are meant to hold up fairly well for everyday wear. I wanted an amethyst stone but was talked out of it by jewellers for same reason and they said those 3 were the only ones they’d recommend as alternatives.

Oh that’s a shame. Maybe you should spend a bit more time researching something closer to your dream ring? Think about pale sapphires, emeralds, etc?

Emeralds and aquamarines are both beryl. It's the same mineral, like rubies and sapphires are both corundum.

OP, aquamarines/emeralds are still an 8 on the MOH scale, so reasonably hardy (diamonds are 10 and rubies/sapphires are 9). They are brittle, however, so wearanility depends your level of activity and what you do with your hands.
Would you consider a bezel-set aquamarine? The bezel would provide protection against hits from.the side.

I don’t see the issue, especially as it’s the standard engagement ring that you are both wanting rather than something unusual. I think it’s a style that suits everyone

you both chose the classic ring. It’s kind of hard to complain about that. No one is going to find it odd.

if the real issue is that you don’t love your choice, then look for an alternative.

If you don't have your ring yet then yes I'd say fine to change it.

It's not weird she chose a similar ring as it's pretty standard.