To just think the world is a horrible place for women?

[eeeeeeeee]

I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable or not, but I just wonder why I even bother. I have a decent career/high paid job, then my manager tried it on with me. I complained about him sexually harassing me yet that was ignored. Since then he is successfully retaliating against me and managing me out of the business protected by his peers. I’m literally being made out to be a horrible liar, with absolutely no concern for my wellbeing, scrutinised in every possible way, treated like a pariah, career gone just like that. it just makes me think what’s the point of even bothering trying to work, be independent and get a job etc as it’s a man’s world

You need to take this to tribunal, and be able to state your situation. Clearly they are all predators or enablers

I am really sorry you are experiencing this because of some predatory man

In answer to your op- yes. It's shit.
We need to know how to play the game. Be better. Funnier. More flexible. More everything. It's awful but it's real.

He’s really tried to bury my concerns by making me seem like a troublemaker. There’s absolutely nothing they can use against me or any evidence against me, but I’m up against his word and his lies. Super frustrating

It’s so horrible isn’t it, makes me think there’s no point to life

There absolutely is a point to life, and fighting this shite. Not every workplace will be like this, none of mine ever have been and I'm in my 60s.
Better exists. Go for it.

It’s shit OP

ive just gone through similar but from a disability perspective. Companies will do everything they can to deny and protect the offenders. They make you doubt your sanity. They turn you into the problem.

but there is a point to life. Please don’t think this way. As long as I will have strength I will challenge the bigots, the racists, the sexists etc etc. if we didn’t do anything nothing would change. But things are changing little by little - despite the “anti-woke” aresholes trying to stop us!

Really sorry this has happened to you. But it's best to not let one bad incident tarnish your entire view of life. It's just one job in a million others out there. One prick from a billion others. Take him to tribunal (but find something else) but this job is not what defines you or your life. I had a real creep boss years ago - I quit even with nothing to go to next. Found something different after some months. That was a decade ago and I've never looked back since. The more you catastrophise, the more anxious and beaten down in life you'll feel. Don't give one shitty human being this kind of power in your life. You are tougher than you think, and it won't feel like this forever. Oh and don't equate every shitty incident to being a woman, that's putting the blame on you when it is 100% with the perpetrators.

Clicked on this post expecting to disagree and then remembered that earlier this month I was kicked out of the gym I attend by the owner after reporting one of the male members to the police for creepy behaviour that was concerning me… so yeah, you’re right.

Oh gosh that is concerning. Can you go to the papers and highlight it? 😘🙏💕

Fighting the good fight is the point to life. Get in touch with your anger instead of feeling hopeless. Get yourself a lawyer if necessary. Fuck these bastards up any way you can. You need to be as ruthless and relentless as they are when it comes to protecting your rights.

Have you spoken with ACAS? They can give you great advice and if you head for an employment tribunal you’ll need to deal with them anyway.

Women have come a long way and yet there are still so many situations that put us right back again

I asked my dh the other day if he's ever felt intimidated or nervous walking in the dark.

He looked at me abit crazily and said no why?

And I said well a lot of women feel like that every time they go out in the dark or on their own in their cars at night.

He has mentioned it quite a lot since because he can't get his head around how it should be like that and yet it is like that.

We have teenage daughters and he's really started to notice now how different it is for women

I bring my girls up to be firm and strong,not to tolerate any shit especially from men trying to bully their way to what they want and to stand up for themselves but it's definitely a harder time for women

Hi OP, I agree with you that it's shit for women at this point in time. No advice for you, just solidarity.

@philocalist yep, I've been experiencing stalking from a man whom I have nothing to do with, he just happens to live near me. I asked the police for advice and the police woman said that he's not breaking the law, go away 😭

That's happened to me several times. Do you have his name? If not, and you know where he lives, do a people search to find out his name. Then collect all the information you can off his SM; who his friends are, what he does for a living, etcetera. Install cameras around your home and take your phone with you everywhere so you can film his behavior.
If he hasn't broken the law yet, at least you already made a complaint establishing a history of stalking, so that should make it easier to get him arrested if he does break the law. If he trespasses on your property, for example, file charges. Don't let them brush you off. Demand your right to file a complaint. Do you live alone? Do you have a home alarm system?
Another option is to hire a private investigator to check into his background for any prior criminal charges. If you have information on him he does not want to be made public, you may be able to use it as leverage to get him to leave you alone. You could also hire a lawyer to sue him for harassment.
I creeped my last stalker's Facebook and got the names of all his friends, coworkers and family. My next step would have been to tell him I would be contacting all of them about his behavior, plus informing the business associations he was a member of. He stopped, so I didn't have to.

I agree, far too many incidences and it just feels worse recently, I feel like things are going backwards honestly.

I hope you have the strength to fight it. I speak from experience, it can be stressful and draining but hopefully is worth it. Ive had 2 situations, 1 I walked away from and 1 I fought. The one I fought was in the short term far more stressful, but I did win my case. I look back and regret not fighting the other honestly. I feel these things need challenging as much as possible. But I also understand if people choose to walk away to preserve their own mental health.

Report to the police but no I don't think the whole world is against women I just think a lot need to constantly complain about it

I know an equal number of men and women who have been bullied in the workplace. The women I know who were bullied were bullied by other women and there was no sexual harassment.
So I haven’t objectively noticed things getting worse at all in my day to day life however I’m sure the media will tell me the sky is falling.

Well, don't worry. They won't be able to complain about it for much longer.

https://www.theguardian.com/global-development/article/2024/aug/26/taliban-bar-on-afghan-women-speaking-in-public-un-afghanistan

“Companies will do everything they can to deny and protect the offenders. They make you doubt your sanity.” Exactly my experience too. A large part of my anger is reserved for the firm’s HR team - women so happy to cosy up to the firms partners and hide behind procedure for the sake of their own jobs

I work for is a massive government department and it is exactly like this as well. If the public got word of what has happened to me it would make headlines, so they are trying to bury it under me being the problem. Not the perverts they’re bending over to protect.

I am so sorry this is happening to you. Similar here - but a law firm. In the end I just left as the likely level of compensation (pitiful) even if I won the case didn’t seem worth it given the character assassination they were already beginning to mount against me. It’s not fair - it will never be fair - but at least the move gave me peace of mind. On the other hand I know new employer obligations on sexual harassment are being brought in from October which might give you a stronger case - so I’m not surprised they are trying to bury your claim https://www.peoplemanagement.co.uk/article/1886198/worker-protection-act-employers-prepare