To try again after academic failure

[QuiteAnEpicFailure]

In 2019 I started a degree but never finished it so now have a fairly worthless ‘ordinary’ degree with no honours. I been in contact with a uni who have said they would consider me for a place in a masters course despite my lack of honours degree because I have relevant work experience.

I REALLY want to do this masters, partially because it’s in something I’m really passionate about but mainly just to prove to myself I can actually achieve something academically. But I’m also highly aware of the fact that I might just fuck it all up again and end up in an even worse situation.

I’ve been thinking about why my degree was such a disaster and wondering if it was me that was the problem or just other things that kept going wrong and impacting my ability to focus. The things that went wrong over the time I was doing my degree degree were (in chronological order not order of importance)

1. Discovering my sister had been hiding a secret substance abuse problem and her having her children taken into care.
2. Covid meaning I was stuck at home with all 3 of my young dc while trying to study and write assignments.
3. Separating from my partner of 15 years and becoming a single parent
4. my academic tutor (main contact at uni) died unexpectedly which was really sad and also left me without any support while my uni sorted a replacement.
5. my own dd becoming really unwell and being admitted to hospital regularly for around 2 years.
6. my other sibling dying suddenly- at this point I paused my degree for a year
7. After resuming my studies from the year break my dd was in hospital again almost immediately and my uni told me I’d used to all my mitigating circumstances so either hand in the work or fail the modules- at this point I opted to take the ordinary degree and give up up on finishing my final year.

Despite all this I cannot forgive myself for ‘failing’ my degree, I wish I had just stuck at it anyway. I’ve lost all the confidence I ever had in my abilities. In a lot of ways I’m in a worse position now then I was before I started the degree as I constantly have to live with the fact I failed it and will always have to explain myself to employers etc about why I didn’t finish my degree.

Is the fact that I didn’t finish my degree with all this going in justified or would others have just got on with things and finished the course? Am I wrong to think I could do a masters if I couldn’t finish an undergraduate degree?

I think you sound like a tough woman who has dealt with a lot of difficult circumstances, not a failure. In fact, you've given me hope about picking yourself up after tough run and making the best of yourself.

Hello - first I’m so sorry about those difficult years. It’s not at all surprising that you left with an ordinary degree in those circumstances and it’s impressive you achieved that.
It will depend a little whether the Masters is science/social science/humanities but I would ask yourself how you found whatever the dominant assessment mode is in your discipline. Work experience is amazing and valuable, but if for example you always found it really hard to translate knowledge into essays or practicals or whatever, then that might still be a challenge.
challenges can be overcome of course! But universities are keen to recruit Masters students, and you need to be confident that they can and will actually support you through the course if you struggle again. Would recommend a frank conversation with the course leader if you can (rather than the admissions office).

Your reasons are legitimate! There’s only so much a human can cope with.

Thank you for the replies. I think actually just reading back my post had made me see just how much I have dealt with over the last few years and obviously some of those things are still affecting me now. Although my dd is much better now which is a massive relief for me and takes a lot of the stress away.

@EBoo80 speaking to the course leader is an excellent idea thank you! I have struggled a bit with essays with the past although my grades were always high- I had to put a lot of effort in to get the high grades and I know that is still something I will struggle with. The good thing about this masters is that it is part time so I will hopefully not be under as much pressure as I was when I was studying full time.

I'm also about to start a Masters degree. I have a 3rd class honours degree from a decent university. It was an awful course. I had A grades at A level in necessary and appropriate subjects. I went on to become a chartered accountant and have a varied but successful career. My Masters is in a very different subject area. My passion! I have some study experience in this area but will probably be working alongside some very bright youngsters. I'm so excited!! But to finally answer your question. I have a backup plan. If I decide halfway through the course that I can not cope with the work, I am going to simply audit the rest of the taught course. I will still learn, and I don't need the qualification. So perhaps think about your PlanB/ backup plan.

"I REALLY want to do this masters"...there is your reason! If the finances and logistics of the course work, go for it and enjoy it!

Go for it! Being passionate about subject should mean that even it for any reason you don't complete it will be time spent on something interesting and useful to you so I don't think you would end up in a worse position than not doing it.

Go for it OP! If your uni has an academic skills team (sometimes called something like academic support) they often offer workshops and 1:1s, it's not just for people who haven't done so well on an assignment, you can also proactively seek help on something upcoming, especially if it's an assessment type you found tricky before. As others have said also talk to course staff - they're there to help you and should be happy to reassure you.

That said, this is more for confidence and giving you a solid foundation than because I think you lack academic skill! It sounds like you went through loads of things before that anyone would have found challenging. The things you've cited are reasons that people drop out completely, so coming away with anything is impressive. Wishing you the very best of luck with your Masters!

My concern is whether you are being honest with yourself. You must know that any one of the things you've listed would be legitimate reasons not to finish the qualification. So it's disingenuous to make out that you don't know that.

If you secretly know that, whilst all of those things happened, in reality you could still have finished if you'd really wanted to, then at least be honest with yourself about that.

My suspicion is that your real fear is about your academic writing ability. If that's true then do not do the Masters. If you struggled at Level 6 you will struggle more at Level 7, where the academic requirements of critical analysis are increased.

Holy shit. I think it's amazing that you are even still getting out of bed after all that. Completing your degree even without honours was a massive achievement and success story in those circumstances.

Your confidence has clearly taken a beating so I think it's important you have good support and a manageable plan for your master's studies. Otherwise those negative stories in your head about "failing" will undercut your efforts. What support does your prospective uni offer for postgraduate students to make the transition and develop their academic skills? Some universities use the first module of their master's programme to also teach you how to work at PG level.

Could you do a standalone postgraduate level module as a warm-up to rebuild your confidence without the pressure of it being part of a full master's programme? E.g. I know the Open University have some 15-credit postgraduate micro credentials that can be done standalone or stacked up towards a qualification. I think the University of Glasgow also has PG micro credentials.

Those are not ‘excuses’ for doing badly. They are extremely valid reasons. You are one impressive person. I’m sorry for all that happened to you and wish you all the luck in the world X.

Or work through this?

https://www.open.edu/openlearn/education-development/succeeding-postgraduate-study/content-section-overview?active-tab=description-tab

My concern is whether you are being honest with yourself. You must know that any one of the things you've listed would be legitimate reasons not to finish the qualification. So it's disingenuous to make out that you don't know that.

Weird take.

It's not disingenuous, it's a completely normal thought process for someone with poor self-esteem, anxiety or low mood. Such as one would be after a sequence of events like in the op.

It depends.

If you got lots of 60s or so scores during years 1/2 but then scraped year 3 due to circumstances then yes. Masters will be fine.

If you got 40s throughout all 3 years then probably not.

So really I'd base it on actual marks achieved.

I work at a university - a big part of my role is supporting students through transitioning into PG study, including academic writing and skills development. Absolutely go for it - make whatever the equivalent of our department is (it'll be called 'learning development', 'academic skills' or similar) one of your first ports of call and take full advantage of all the classes, 1:1 support. If there's a dedicated transition course before term starts, do it, and attend anything in the same vein run by your department as well. I'd also recommend looking at any peer learning opportunities - these can be either centrally run or based in your dept. Finally, you might come under the remit of the Widening Participation team so check them out as well. But all in all, as others have said the fact you kept going under those circumstances is testament to your grit, and the fact you demonstrated to yourself and your markers that you can achieve great grades means you'll likely fly in better circumstances. All the best with it!

You have gone through a huge amount so any study would be difficult in those circumstances so well done for getting to the end and coming out with a degree. However based on what you have written ( and having just finished a Masters myself) I would be worried that it all might be a bit full on and stressful for you even part time if you jumped straight in - Masters part time can feel like full time degree.

Master requires a different skill set to a degree, much more critique, self management / self motivation and sourcing of material, independent thinking and writing, not just learning and applying “stuff” the uni provides as with a degree. Certainly the final project is all self sourced and self motivated.

Speak to the course leader and you might be better doing as another PP has said and take an OU taster course aligned with your preferred subject. This will give you the opportunity to ease back into academia, polish up your skill set and identify any which require some work on before committing to a masters.

Good luck, it’s hugely rewarding but hard work and you need to keep yourself motivated.

I totally understand your reasons for wanting to go back to education. I didn't focus on my UG degree and wanted to do my current Masters to prove to myself that I could.

I would say though that in my experience over the last two years there is very little flexibility in terms of deadlines and very little support for those that need it.

Also, although described as pt, my course is anything but (but it's quite an unusual, time consuming, vocational course).

Love people giving things a go and completely understand where you are coming from.

However, I would think about the actual benefits of this....do you need it for progressing your career? Is there a clear defined way you can use it straight afterwards?

How much will the Masters cost? Are your employers paying for it? Universities see a lot of Masters as cash cows.

Of course they want to encourage you to join, it's all about the hard sell for cash. Unfortunately a lot of postgrad courses trade on people's regrets and insecurities for recruitment.

Universities are a social and practical mess right now, even for those students who feel they are doing all the right things.

If you're just super-interested in a topic, then you can learn for free or tailor your learning with cheap online courses.

Start a blog or YouTube channel on your research project or niche of interest. You'll get more exposure than if you had the top dissertation in your year!

If it's just an emotional thing, then maybe some self-acceptance work or work on confidence might be useful. Life or careers coaching would be a lot cheaper!

I was an an event yesterday and talked to a guy who mentioned he had dropped out of a course... Absolutely no-one gave a damn and neither did he, he's doing something else. Came across as very alpha male, tbh.

If you're constantly ashamed of or apologising for something of course other people will pick up on it.

The only people avidly interested in things like this would be oddballs and super-competitive people, you don't want to impress them surely?

If someone likes your vibe they'll progress you at work. If not, it doesn't matter how many qualifications you have or don't have. If they want you and you need the qualifications they'll sponsor you.

I really would try not to see this as a redemption and stake your mental health on it, but a practical decision.

You're fine as you are. You have nothing to prove. There is nothing to be forgiven for, you just need to make the best decisions for yourself in the present moment.

Success comes from persistence @QuiteAnEpicFailure and persistence in the face of adversity, especially.

You are most definitely not a failure.

Lean into your resilience & hopes. Try (and try) again - it'll feel amazing when you get there. You've got this.

Everyone fails at certain things. It’s a confidence knock having your first failure but you’ll realise soon enough it’s part of life and you’ll move past it. I don’t even think of the post graduate course I failed - it’s not on my CV and I’ve done loads since.

It’s also important to remember that success is often down to fortunate circumstances rather than aptitude. It sounds like you’ve had a tough time and some tough circumstances recently.