I posted here a few weeks ago under a different user name as I was thinking of leaving my partner due to his behaviour towards our children aged 3 and 5.
I got some good advice and we split 6 weeks ago. He has moved out.
To give an example, he aggressively shouted at my 5 year old "do you have an eating disorder" as she was declining to eat a particular thing that she never eats - not an issue as she eats other things that were served alongside but he always used to try and make her eat it. There have been countless other incidents but this was the final straw.
Anyway since we split he has moved in with his mum a 40 minute drive away and has been seeing the children one or 2 days a week (his choice, he hasn't wanted to see them more, it's me who has instigated the contact. He's not working currently. He does however want to see me and go on dates which I am absolutely not interested in). He has been taking them out to different places and they have enjoyed themselves. He has been much better with the children, my 5 year old was sitting on his knee yesterday which he never allowed previously, for example.
Now the children are saying they miss daddy, they want him to move back in, when I say the reason he moved out is because of arguing they say "no there wasn't any arguing mummy". I have been very neutral about him and avoided saying anything bad. My 3 year old every time he gets upset (e.g. if he fights with his sibling or falls over etc) is crying daddy daddy. Previously his dad would have shouted or ignored him if he cried - he never would have comforted him. Similarly for waking up at night - ex never did any night times and only a handful of bedtimes, if a child woke he would ignore or shout at them. The kids have obviously forgotten this which is good. I am just wondering if it's normal for kids to react in this way when a borderline abusive parent moves out? Has anyone experienced this?
The children's behaviour otherwise has been good they seem happy, they play well together, there's no sign of any sadness most of the time. I myself feel much more relaxed without the constant tension and walking on egg shells. But them saying these things is making me question the decision - is this normal??