Is it me? Honest opinions please

[Itsitnee]

In the pub with DP and dd (3). We had said we would nip in to get her a quick meal on the way back home as it was getting late to cook when back. At the table we chose her a kids meal and I said I think I will have a kids pizza. Dp very clearly sighed and looked exasperated. I did not react well to this and asked what his problem was. He said he was surprised I was saying I wanted food as we had said we would just take dd in for her meal. I said clearly he was sighing because he didn’t want to spend money and he said it wasn’t that it was the change in plan he didn’t like.

for context money isn’t (or shouldn’t be) a concern as we earn well over 100k between us and the meal in question was 7 pounds.

he is saying he shouldn’t have sighed but was just confused as to what was going on. AIBU to be so pissed off at this reaction to me literally just saying I was going to order a kids pizza? I don’t get why that warrants a sigh?

Yes op could have communicated better.

YABU

Is there a back story about the money? Do you feel he’s basically quite tight?

Why would it affect him though?

Why would a grown adult order a kids pizza meal themselves most of the time they are bloody microwaved rubbish in a pub.

But you changed the plan so of cause he was a bit eye rolly sigh. It was meal
For the child now it’s you snacking or is it your dinner? Is he now eating alone tonight after watching you eat a children meal.

Nothing embarrassing about ordering a kids meal if you don’t eat big portions. Some people just have smaller appetites. I know a couple of adults that order kids meals, one of which has little appetite since cancer treatment, and the other just doesn’t eat very much and doesn’t like paying full price when they won’t eat a full portion. Perhaps OP wasn’t in the mood for a full portion.

I think it's a ridiculous thing for either of you to get in a tizzy about. But are you sure your husband wasn't just pissed off because you are an adult and ordered a child's meal for yourself rather than a proper sized pizza?

Why would that piss someone off?!

The communication was the issue.

i would have said something like. Im a bit peckish now, i think I'll order a wee snack as it'll be ages before we have dinner. Do you fancy anything?

I think the way you phrased it wasn't really caring & inclusive. But at the same time he should have used his words too. Yeah I'll order some garlic bread/chips then we can have dinner later.
(in reality I wouldn't do it as if I ate at that time I wouldn't want anything else. Or at least not until about 10pm then would just want another snack) .
you both need to communicate better.

or just make Dd Beans on toast at home 😂😂

Most restaurants I’ve eaten in have an age stated on the children’s menus. Like little child 0-5 years, bigger bites 5-10 and such.

Be rather embarrassed if dh tried to order a kiddie pizza unless you’re at a dedicated pizza place that sold pizzas in sizes rather than off a proper kiddie menus.

I get why you reacted op, he sighed negatively but I also see why he may have been annoyed, in my relationship you did exactly what my dh used to do, decide he's suddenly eating which means our plan to eat a specific meal later won't happen now or it will but will be for one instead of two.

Maybe he doesn’t like changes of plan. I don’t know.

Because its embarrassing for a start and it makes no sense, does that mean you'll be hungry later? Does it mean you'll want a sandwich or a full on spag bol? Like it's not a meal but it's not a snack. It's just annoying.

YABU for shoehorning in that you earn well over £100k between you’… You could have just said money’s not an issue, or something similar, so it seems a bit odd that you’ve been so specific about that.

My husband wouldn't give a crap. If I ordered a pizza he'd probably say 'will you still want your eat later' then we'd both laugh because obviously I will.

Why is it embarrassing? What would be the point in ordering an adult’s pizza when she knew a kids pizza would be big enough? The kids pizzas in some places are massive.
The things people get worked up about never ceases to amaze me. How do you have the energy?

One reason could have been that any normal person would offer to share a pizza rather than announce they are going to order a small plate for themselves completely disregarding their partner. Given by the OP’s mememe post, this may be what she does regularly and, therefore, her partner was suitably annoyed at her selfishness. I dunno… just a guess.

What’s the BFD over ordering a child’s portion of pizza?
And what’s the BFD over somebody sighing?
The BFD should be over two adults not being able to discuss something as trivial as eating.

Because in my experience when the waitress says 'that's the kids menu for under 5s' its embarrassing

Gosh I couldn’t be arsed to be embarrassed by that. If a waitress said that to someone else I was with, it wouldn’t be a reflection on me in any way so why would I be embarrassed?

YABU. You could have just had a conversation in the pub with your husband and said I'm going to get a little something to eat. He then could have decided whether or not to get something to eat instead of waiting to eat with you later. Just communicate so he can make an informed decision.

It’s definitely a communication issue and one partner usually sighs in an eye rolling way like that when it’s a regular occurrence for them - not just a one off.

Presumably you’d had a conversation specifically choosing to get ONLY your daughter a quick meal - which either implied or perhaps was agreed that you even already had plans for dinner at home.

Then without asking or suggesting to your DH that you’d actually prefer to eat now instead of later you unilaterally change the plan, but weirdly order a small kids pizza - which makes it very confusing - is that your dinner? Or a snack? Are you going to zip through a quick meal and get home like planned, or are you lingering over a full dinner for all of you.

If DH wants more that a small kids meal is he going to hold up the meal getting a regular adult meal cooked, served and eaten.

What’s happening to the food you’d planned to cook at home? If DH doesn’t want to eat an early dinner does that mean you two are now having separate evening plans. etc etc.

Do you do this a lot? It’s okay to be spontaneous and go with the flow if you both like operating like that.

Your life sounds exhausting. Chill out.

I think if of been a bit peeved at the sighing too. Looking at the comments it seems like a split of opinions. I’d of probably said I fancy some food and then partner says we may as well all order something and we’re all fed before we head home. I don’t think I could be bothered to sit an feed toddler and then go home and do bedtime and then cook for us.
The sighing because of a minor change in plans would make me eye roll a bit too, unless you had a special meal or something planned.

You changed the plans without discussion. I’d be irritated too.