Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pregnancy secret

35 replies

Nmcl40 · 31/08/2024 09:48

I went to a concert last night with friends. I’m 6 weeks pregnant and obviously haven’t told anyone. I ordered lemonade and pretended it was gin and my friend gave me a glass of wine. When he wasn’t looking I gave it to my husband. Trying to hide it is so hard. What do I do in this situation? I hadn’t been drinking much in a while as we were trying to get pregnant so I was drinking non alcoholic stuff

OP posts:
Peonies12 · 31/08/2024 15:50

Nmcl40 · 31/08/2024 12:10

I cannot lie for shit. If they straight up asked me ‘are you pregnant?’ I would end up just saying yes and it’s too early to tell anyone. I constantly have anxiety about something going wrong and would rather wait till I know everything is ok. With women it’s different though as everyone just assumes ‘pregnant’ when not drinking

Edited

It’s not too early. Something can alway go wrong, there’s no magic safe point,

Original poster
Nmcl40 · 01/09/2024 08:05

Yeah that’s weird and over the top. Idiot

OP posts:
Original poster
Nmcl40 · 01/09/2024 08:09

I don’t go out that often. We had booked these tickets ages ago obviously before I was pregnant. Have a work do coming up in a months time and because I’ve only started there they won’t be none the wiser as I can just say I don’t drink

OP posts:
AliTheMinx · 01/09/2024 08:43

I waited until 12 weeks to tell anyone I was pregnant. I think I would have done so anyway, but I had already had 2 miscarriages, and was anxious. I found out at 5 weeks, so it was a worrying time. I didn't go out that much in the first trimester, as I was horribly exhausted, but when I did go out, I think I also just pretended I had ordered something alcoholic, but just stuck to soft drinks - and one time I said I had a bit of an iffy tummy! Congratulations on your pregnancy, OP :-)

Borninabarn32 · 01/09/2024 08:45

On antibiotics.
On a health kick.

OMGitsnotgood · 01/09/2024 13:14

Peonies12 · 31/08/2024 15:48

Just tell them? I never understood the waiting to tell. I told many family and friends early, and then had a miscarriage. It made it so much easier to tell them and I appreciated their support. Waiting to tell only perpetuates the idea in society that miscarriage is shameful. I told early when I got pregnant again. Everyone I know has shared early, I didn’t realise many people waited to tell nowadays.

Edited

The difference is if you haven't told people you're pregnant, you don't have to go through the pain of telling them you've had a miscarriage. Obviously family and close friends you would tell anyway but not some random colleague, who will no doubt have passed on the news to others and so it snowballs.

I didn't feel any shame in having a miscarriage at all but found it incredibly painful to have people who I didn't even know knew I was pregnant ask how the pregnancy was going and then have to tell them when I was still coming to terms with it myself.

Original poster
Nmcl40 · 01/09/2024 18:09

This is my point. I am quite a private person. I may have to tell my manager as sometimes my work would require lifting and organising events. Only people I have told is my mum and that’s it. I wouldn’t be telling anyone this soon especially not other work colleagues

OP posts:
DappledThings · 01/09/2024 18:22

Nmcl40 · 01/09/2024 18:09

This is my point. I am quite a private person. I may have to tell my manager as sometimes my work would require lifting and organising events. Only people I have told is my mum and that’s it. I wouldn’t be telling anyone this soon especially not other work colleagues

Honestly the more you worry about not drawing attention to it the more you will draw attention and speculation. If you just quietly don't drink without offering an explanation then plenty of people won't notice. If people do and ask and you lie then that fuels more speculation.

If they do ask and you just breezily say yes but it's early days and anything could happen so you don't want to discuss it then the conversation will move on.

The less you try to hide it the less if a big deal it becomes.

Original poster
Nmcl40 · 01/09/2024 19:37

When did everyone tell their employers? I am thinking I may have to tell mine soon

OP posts:
CongratsOnYourLilBump · 01/09/2024 19:42

Nmcl40 · 01/09/2024 19:37

When did everyone tell their employers? I am thinking I may have to tell mine soon

The latest you can leave it is 25 weeks I think.

Anything between 8 and about 20 weeks is more common. For a lot of us it's when you realise you are showing and can't hide it!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page