I've slowly come to accept that my husband is emotionally abusing me. In the past few years I've had two friends experience domestic violence and in researching to try and help them I've realised that what my husband does isn't just cruel it would be classed as abuse. He's never been physically abusive it's all emotional. Mainly humiliation, gaslighting, he threatens to get rid of our dog constantly, lies about pointless things (smoking/money) then acts like I'm abusive when I find out and am confused or hurt, says he wants to divorce me (often when we're out at events or round family - not in front of people but obviously too upset me when we're out).
My parents and his parents have a similar dynamic. His Mum has actually said to me that his Dad was the same to her but after a few years it stopped upsetting her and now she just zones it out...like that was good marital advice. Having realised all of this I've thought about leaving but the prospect seems so huge and daunting that I don't think I can. And though I hate myself for this I found myself wondering what it would actually take for me to leave and I couldn't answer. Pathetic I know but I feel like I'm about to repeat history and be the next in a long line of women dissociating rather than leaving.