To go for a job my colleague is also going for?

[Welshey]

Hi all,

In a bit of a moral dilemma. I’ve been working with a colleague on an ongoing project for 2 months or so.

She’s been at the company for 3 years, I’ve been at the company 1 year, but we only met 2 months ago as I had been working in a different office. Since then we work together pretty much all day, just the two of us and I really like her.

A role has come up in a rival and arguably better company. We work in a niche industry and roles like this do not come up very often.

I also really want to apply but I feel so guilty even thinking about going behind her back and doing so. I think either of us would stand a very decent chance of getting the role.

I am much more experienced in one aspect of the role, whereas she is much more experienced in an another aspect.

The thing is, I did not know about the role until she mentioned she was going to apply on Monday. I’d be stabbing her in the back if I applied and got the role.

She has mentioned multiple times this week she plans on applying but I have kept quiet…

Should I apply? Should I tell her? It’s so niche if I don’t tell her, there is a chance she will find out through the grapevine that I also applied…

Thank you in advance for your advice!

Oh goodness, apply. You needn't tell her, unless there ends up being a group interview or you get the job. There's being nice to colleagues, but don't forgo a career opportunity, you are in a niche industry and would forever be thinking 'what if?' Go for it!

You've only known her for 2 months; approx 8 weeks. I'd apply for the job.

Apply.

Why wouldn't you apply?

Best person wins. Might not be either of you. It's not "her job"!

Of course. Why on earth wouldn't you! I've been up against colleagues for jobs loads of times, you win some you lose some. Anyone offended by that needs to work on their own resilience.

I totally understand how you feel but apply for the job and say nothing.
Maybe if she finds out, say you had applied begged her and didn't want to say.

I don't understand why you think you shouldn't apply. Just go for it.

The thing is, I did not know about the role until she mentioned she was going to apply on Monday. I’d be stabbing her in the back if I applied and got the role.

Why, has the job not been made public?

You could’ve stumbled across the vacancy on Tuesday. You could’ve had an email from a recruiter on Wednesday. You cannot guarantee you wouldn’t have found about the job had she not mentioned it.

I’m in an extremely niche job and this happens all the time. Often we hear about new positions from colleagues (only to come across those same vacancies again online shortly after), nobody holds it against each other when we all apply together. It’s totally normal in small, competitive fields.

If you’d like to apply, apply.

Of course you should apply.

I understand why you’d feel bad about it, given that if she hadn’t mentioned it you wouldn’t even know about the job in the first place.

I guess it’ll be a lesson for her to keep her own counsel in future.

I cannot believe she told you she was going to a job in another company having only known you 8 weeks!

Apply. Get it done. You will either be successful or you won’t. Loads of people will apply anyway. Would this person not apply for a job if they thought you were going to apply? I bet it wouldn’t stop them. You sometimes have to just go for what you want.

This is precisely why I always keep my mouth shut about applying for roles.

Definitely apply. I would have a quiet word, to say, ‘I know you’re applying for X job, so I thought I should let you know that I’ve already applied too. Just didn’t want it to be a shock if we’re both called for interview. Good luck.”

That's what I was thinking. If she finds out - or suspects - that OP only learned of the job because of her disclosure, she'll never chat about any more profound than the weather again with you.

You should obviously still apply though.

I would feel like shit if I got it and had to tell her I'm leaving to take up the job you wanted. She trusted you with that info. You didn't do the legwork to find it. She did. You're shitting on her.

Apply - don't hold yourself back for her.

My close colleague - we both do the same job and share team management etc - and I are both having to apply for jobs as our project is coming to an end. And most of the time they're the same jobs. We've taken a decision to be open and transparent with each other and indeed to help each other with applications where we can. Whoever gets the job, gets the job. There's nothing personal in it.

Apply.

Personally I would tell her you're applying, I'd rather not have to lie by concealing, or worry about her finding out. If you can both apply on amicable terms it might be useful in the comparing notes/waiting to hear phase to have someone to share this with.

Of course you apply for it.

I can't think of any reason why you shouldn't

Apply for it

I applied for an internal role, a couple of my colleagues did too. I had way much more experience and was offered it in interview. I wouldn't have been fussed if any of the others had got it.

Eh? Apply

Apply.

Level playing field - tell her if you want

Noe owns a potential job. Apply.

You can't hold your own job/life back unless there is good reason. Knowing someone in a work setting is not a reason.

I wouldn't apply if you valued the friendship more than the role

Apply, it is the only way to know who is the best.

Definitely apply but I would say something as otherwise you look sneaky