Where would you go to get the best mental health care?

[Litlgreyrabbit]

My brother is struggling emotionally / with his mental health. He has just been through a nasty break up, moved back with parents, he has a good job which he is holding together, but it’s stressful. His self esteem is very low with a lot of negative self-talk.

He’s tried counsellors before but they didn’t help him, and he doesn’t want to be on medication. I have said that it takes time to find the right counsellor / therapist, but he says it’s too expensive and stressful to keep looking. He’s not been diagnosed ‘with’ anything like anxiety or depression but I’m worried it’s turning into something like that, and think this needs to be nipped in the bud. In truth, it’s already gone on far too long, he hasn’t been right since the pandemic, but the breakup has made it much worse.

I’m willing to help him out with treatment, but where should I look? Can money find ‘the best’ when it comes to mental health? If we forked out as a family for the Priory (for example) I would the help there even be much better than what could be got for a fraction of the price?

wee bump

The only way anything is going to work is if he is ready to do it and do it for himself. You can throw all the money in the world at it but unless he wants it it won’t work.

I completely agree. Counselling which works is really hard work. It’s not just about what haopens the sessions but the strategies you put in place and work you do in between which is really important. It’s like healthy eating, buying gym membership and doing a healthy weekly shop is only just the start, it’s the daily effort which is important.

If he doesn’t want it for himself, it won’t work.

What about going on a great holiday with him, or helping him find a new hobby by trying things with him, or using your money in a positive way with him? Or a men’s retreat type thing?

I would look for a qualified clinical psychologist (ie someone who can call themself ‘Dr…’ ) rather than a counsellor.

But he does have to have some motivation as per PP. And find a psychologist who he likes / trusts rather than looking for a specific modality of therapy.

Solution focused hypnptherapy is worth considering. Not everyone will find it works, but it's done wonders for me.

(If in the UK), local NHS MH team for assessment. They will have a number of options of their own or may also signpost to other appropriate services.

Private? Same training and somebody like Priory will have to factor in profit for shareholders (in the case of Priory), an American finance group.

Thanks everyone. It’s difficult because while he does want to feel better he thinks it’s ‘just because he’s a useless person’ rather than seeing that he has a problem. I don't want to overly-medicalise either, because I worry that will lead to helplessness and reliance on medication rather than working to get his mind and self-esteem back to where they were 5 years ago. It’s so difficult to know how to help. I want him to wake up / snap out of it, but of course I know mental health doesn’t work that way.

We live quite far apart, but I am going to try and see more of him. There is quite a bit of sibling rivalry going on though, not from my side but from his point of view. I am the high achieving big sister, he is very clever (cleverer, in fact) but doesn't earn as much, doesn’t have a relationship and is living back home. I’m not sure that he feels good about himself around me ☹️. He doesn’t like sharing his feelings but I suspect that he is comparing himself to me. It isn’t something I can directly address with him though because he’s never actually said it.