Checking in on 23 year old

[Lacky301]

Okay I'm willing to be told I'm daft here but I'm trying to get a grip on my anxieties.
I always feel the need to check on my 23 year old ds as to where he is if out late or how he's getting home as I worry about him been attacked etc it's crazy I know I also worry about him been in a car accident etc etc was wondering how many of you like this and if you leave your dc of this age to get on with it.

Yes, OP, when they were still living at home and travelling late at night on public transport etc. Tried not to convey the anxiety, just sent messages like Will you be home soon?

Okay maybe I'm not so weird after all I just can't help worrying about him he means the world to me.

I haven't admit you do this as much as it comes across I would end up blocking you, there is caring and there is over the top smothering

I think it’s normal to worry about your adult kids (assuming that he lives with you) but I don’t think it’s normal/reasonable to keep checking up on him to find out where he is. He’s an adult and he shouldn’t have to be telling his mum where he is and what he’s doing.

Interesting that people are telling you it’s fine, because if someone posted “AIBU to be a bit annoyed that my boyfriend’s mum keeps checking up on him whenever we go out? He says it’s normal but I find it really annoying that he has to keep texting his mum to let her know what’s happening every time we go out. He’s 23” then I guarantee you most people would say “Get rid of him, he’s obviously still clinging to mummy’s apron strings and his mum sounds like a nightmare MIL”.

OP, I'm sure you would hate it if anyone "checked in" on you. So please don't do it to your son, who is also an adult. All you will achieve will be to completely alienate him from you.
And in the unlikely event of anything bad happening, you'd find out soon enough.

That absolutely does convey the anxiety, though.

When I was in my 20s, I would have found it really annoying and infantilising if I was getting messages from my mother nagging me about whether I was coming home soon, when I was a grown woman trying to enjoy a night out.

I have a 23 year old and a 25 year old, both are DDs. We have a "ladies of the family" WhatsApp group where we simply post today's Wordle, Connections and Strands results. I know they are ok, they know I'm still alive. If they want to share more, they can, but this is very low key and works for us.

This. What if the answer is "No"?

I check on mine. He might be an adult but he still does stupid shit and gets into scrapes.
I check on the 27 year old too - he lives alone and if he didn't come home one night, no one would know if I didn't check.

I don't care if people think I'm weird - they're my kids and I'm gonna check on them.

My eldest DS is 30 and I still feel uneasy if he goes out in the nearest big city mainly because of stabbings but he was also spiked recently.
He messages when he's home or at a destination
I also have all 3 on find my friends as they do me
I am disabled and live alone which is mainly why we have find my friends
Personally I think it's " Mothers instinct" even when they're grown adults