Overwhelmed with never ending list

[Stickytoffeepudding6]

Hello

Totally feeling sorry for myself and overwhelmed.

My house is a mess and I'm itching to do a deep clean. My washing basket is bottomless.

My partner might as well be a teenager (please no comments about leaving him) because I have to pick up after him.

Everywhere needs painting. My job is so busy.

I've completely neglected the way I look and it shows.

I'm constantly exhausted so TTC is out of the window.

I just look at my list and leave it so my anxiety is bad.

Saturday I said I would do it all but I just want to go out and do some shopping and meet my friend. But I feel guilty.

Shake me please.

I often feel overwhelmed by housework and paralysed because of how much I want to get done.

Do you think if you bundled up your sheets and towels the mister could manage to get them to a nearby laundrette for a service wash? My local used to fold everything and it was such a treat to get it home bone dry and ready to put away instead of it hanging around for days

OP, you should probably think twice about taking time out of your day (or a whole day of your time) and missing time with your friends to get on top of house stuff when your partner is really contributing to the mess. Is he taking the same time to do as much cleaning as you (not just mess about directing you/pointing stuff out)? Please don’t set yourself up as the cleaner/maid/life admin person.

gently, I would suggest you need to tackle that with him as you will come to see it is disrespectful to you and your time as you are together for longer and add in the huge responsibilities of a baby. You aren’t his mum or maid and you shouldn’t need to be for him to love you.

has taken me a long time to work on this with my husband. He is much better but I still leave his stuff if he doesn’t clear it up. It’s disrespectful to my time and effort.

wise words from giggly too.

Then you'll have two people to tidy up after.
I'm naturally quite messy but I make an effort with my partner because it's disrespectful as an adult to let someone else tidy up after you.

It’s very necessary! The OP is struggling to manage a home she shares with a DP and he does nothing to help. Things can only get worse when you put a baby into the mix.

Why are you so convinced that you can't insist your partner starts pulling his weight?

"He's messy" isn't some sort of innate genetic characteristic, like "he has brown eyes". It's a behaviour, and a selfish one. God, I'd be messy if I lived with some clearing-up fairies, free of charge.

The resentment will grow when there's a child. A lot.

Second the organised mum method.

I find I become overwhelmed unless I have a rigid list of what I need to do when. The method allocates time per day for basic jobs (quick bathroom wipe over, washing up, one load of washing every day for 15 minutes). Then a room allocated on each day so today is Thursday so that is kitchen but you only set timer for 30 minutes and then each Friday per week you deep clean and allocated room that changes per week again only 30 minutes. So in theory you spend a max 45 minutes a day but everywhere gets a deep clean every 8 weeks.

For me it keeps it all much more manageable

I totally hear you OP. I often feel the same.

Can you afford a cleaner? Having one twice a month makes a massive difference for me, knowing the house will be clean and tidy just twice a month takes the pressure off.

I found decluttering was also helpful. 1 cupboard or shelf a week makes a difference.

Painting? If you can, throw money at the problem. Don't feel guilty.

Thanks for that i will make a plan.

Thank you I Will make a plan.