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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Family issues what would you do

27 replies

Parkermumma07 · 28/08/2024 20:03

im after a bit of advice from
people who may have been in similar circumstances or who or just wiser than myself.
recently mother was diagnosed with an illness which although will not end her life will shorten. This coupled with my father who has terminal cancer has led to a lot of stress within the family.
recently my mother had to have a pre arranged operation where she would be in hospital for two days maximum. In this time myself and my sibling took care of our father and his medical needs, he needs regular care and due to the operation being a last minute cancellation we were unable to sort out care for him so both pitched in and cared for him ourself.
my mother returned from hospital after her operation all went well. As soon as she returned she started shouting at my sibling and myself about how we hadn’t done things around the house to the standard she liked for example we had hung washing on the clothes airer rather than putting it in the dryer as it seemed a waste to put the dryer on for two items. This caused her to shout and scream telling us we were useless.

im at my wits end with it all I just want to go No contact with her but would miss my father too much. He isn’t able to facilitate contact himself due to his advanced cancer and only has months left to live. I don’t want to miss out on the last few months of his life simply because of my mothers behaviour.

what would others do in this situation go no contact or ride it out for the next few months?

OP posts:
Parkermumma07 · 31/08/2024 20:15

LeontineFrance · 31/08/2024 17:38

You just need to sit her down with your sibling and tell her that she is not to disrespect you as you are both doing your best. Tell her that it is her choice that you only come to visit your father or, if she does want you to do household/caring duties she respects your efforts and time. No offence, but have you had her checked for dementia. My mother turned into a monster towards the end but the doctor refused to diagnose her but it was very evident as her behaviour changed dramatically for the worse. Good luck! Do stand your ground firmly and politely. She needs both of you are she is near to losing her life long partner but also make it clear that you will not be disrespected.

Thank you

OP posts:
Parkermumma07 · 31/08/2024 20:19

Thanks for all of you that gave actual helpful and productive posts it’s really nice to hear those little bits of support

but there really are some absolute bitches on her arnt they clearly with nothing better to do than put sarcastic comments on people’s posts they don’t know!
I hope you never fall of different times and reach out for some support !!!!

OP posts:
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