To think they are being childish here?

[LeopardPrint12]

And that this is a bit of a pathetic response from a 42 year old ?
I have two sisters. One I have always been close to and she has helped me through some tricky times in my life. However, she has been very jealous about me moving to a new house and although she hasn't said anything horrible, she has not been supportive and has distanced herself. Making it clear how she feels which has made me very uncomfortable. Other sister has in contrast, been really supportive over the new house, gone out of their way to help, donated items and been at the end of the phone to advise.
It was their birthdays recently and I wrote 'To lovely (sisters name) in one with 'Lots of love'. This is for the sister who helped with the housing. With the other one I just put happy birthday. Have a nice day etc.
Well this sister pointed out the differences in the cards and blew up at me saying I was ungrateful and that I have a short memory, forgetting all the times I have been supported by her.
Aibu to say this is unfair and also immature? I bought then both the same value gifts by the way. At the end of the day it's a bloody card.

Well they say it's the thought that counts and 1 sister has noticed that you think 'less' of her in comparison which you have clearly displayed in your different wording in the cards.

However, I personally wouldn't blow up at you about it but I would be hurt.

I think that you sent a message with your respective wordings, whether intentional or otherwise, and it was received.

Well she's correct and if it's just a bloody card why did you feel the need for the passive aggressive messages.

Well, it's quite hurtful for your sis to be honest.. ok, she envies your house and hasn't been involved but she loves you or she wouldn't feel hurt by the absence of love in your message. Be the bigger person. Tell her you feel that she has been distant since your move and that you wrote your message accordingly. But that you love her and that your house is open to her as your heart is... Life is short and precious. Be kind to the people you love even if they are immature. You will not regret it.

Really sounds like you were being petty and childish

At the end of the day it's a bloody card.

Well if it's 'just a bloody card' why did you have to go to the trouble of making it so obvious that you thought differently about each of them? You made a conscious decision to differentiate them in your messages.

To gush over a sister who hasn't previoiusly bothered with you much and be curt with one who has but isn't right now is playground childishness on your part.

I think you were very childish, tbh. I would be cross about it, but wouldn’t say anything. Sounds like she’s a forthright person. Good for her!

You were childish first.

Well you do have a short memory, she’s not wrong. I also think you were out of order.

Someone was childish but I don't think it was either of your sisters.

You knew what you did when you wrote those cards, if that's not childish, bitchy and petty I don't know what is. Are they only worthy of your love when they're doing stuff for you?

How did they get to see each other’s cards?

Unless they are twins that live together i dont get why they were comparing cards but yeah...

Cards are pointless and meaningless so i put lots of love or all my love even when the recipient is an arsehole / i prob wouldnt piss on them!!

I don't even know how she saw the card and they don't live together so not like it would have been obvious. I probably have wrote a more sentimental message in other sisters card in the past, In fact, I know I have. I just think she should have approached it differently. I wasn't to know she would see the other card so wasn't a case of passive aggressiveness or anything like that.

However, she has been very jealous about me moving to a new house and although she hasn't said anything horrible, she has not been supportive and has distanced herself. Making it clear how she feels which has made me very uncomfortable.

How do you know she is jealous?

If it wasn’t passive aggressive to write a cold message in one card and an effusive message in the other, then what was it?

Why not just ask your sister what was going on than assume she was jealous?

So you're annoyed you've been caught out rather than the fact you've upset your sister?

I wasn't to know she would see the other card so wasn't a case of passive aggressiveness or anything like that.

Of course it was passive aggressiveness. Whether they saw each other's card or not.

However if you mainatin it wasn't pass-agg, explain to us why you chose to write those two different messages.

(And if you know sister 1 is finding it hard that you've moved into a new house surely the right thing to do was to tell her you still love her? Or maybe you don't if you only love people who are being of service to you.)

PS And what would your princessness have preferred her to do differently? : I just think she should have approached it differently.

You were childish first and your sister was right- you do sound like you have a short memory. Writing a lovely personal message for one sister because she's recently helped you out and not the other because she didn't help you on this occasion is really petty.

Loads of really odd responses to you in my opinion @LeopardPrint12 - you didn’t passive aggressively write anything, you just reflected how you’re currently feeling with no intention for either to compare their cards. The fact that they made the comparison is unfortunate but I don’t think you e done anything wrong and the offended sister is making too much of this. Plus, she hasn’t provided support so why should you suggest she has?