My sister has always been a bit scatty and a bit selfish. As the older one, I had to look after her a lot when we were growing up and she's always been a bit entitled, expecting others to do favours for her.
I've always been a rescuer/people-pleaser so until therapy and menopause, probably played into this dynamic.
My father has also done the same and played favourites. When my sister argued with him, I helped mediate between them. When I argued with him, she did nothing.
She moved away and would never pick up her phone. Her contact was sporadic. Any visits home I picked her up, drove her and facilitated her visiting our parents. I was also very good with her children whereas she would often forget the birthdays of mine.
I know she suffered from depression and her house was a mess. I helped tidy for her twice but when she moved away, I was unable to, which led to her becoming more isolated/not in contact.
After a few years of low contact, she announced she was moving back and needed help. After initially offering to help, I then thought, no, why should I. I didn't want to open myself up to all that again and she didn't sound remotely appreciative. It was as if she expected all of us, just to pick up where we left off, as if her lack of contact over the years was nothing when in fact, deliberately or not, she'd hurt a lot of people.
I wished her well but withdrew my offer of help. She came back, wrote a couple of group mails which sounded flippant and didn't call any of us for months. Although we were close as children (apart from me always feeling responsible for her) I don't feel close to her now.
She has regularly emailed me to ask to meet for a coffee but I have no real wish to or need to. I wanted to draw a line under the relationship. To that end, I haven't replied nor have I explained why.
AIBU to have gone NC with her?