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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed

8 replies

Blipette · 28/08/2024 11:20

Context my partner moved to my country when we met, we have 3 kids together and I have a child from previous relationship. His parents come visit every few months. In the 6 years we have been in this house we have only had 2 christmases just the 2 of us and the kids, his parents have been the other 4 and are quite overpowering.

So I was driving my partner to work the other night and he went oh I forgot to tell you, my mum and dad are coming for Christmas, I asked him if he had invited them and he said no, they just told him they’d booked a hotel.

Now I wasn’t pleased they had just invited themselves and not asked if we were ok with it. But then chatting to my eldest last night he told me that he’d been talking to partners mum
and she told him and my partner had invited them and he was the one booked the hotel for them.

Aibu to be pissed by this? This maybe sound a stretch but if he’s lying to me about this (a reasonably small thing) then how don’t know he’s not lied about bigger things that have caused issues in the past that he has denied.

OP posts:
IReallyCouldntThinkOfAUsername · 28/08/2024 11:43

I'd assume he's lied because he wants them there and he knows you don't. But yeah that's out of order lying, he can't even be a man and speak the truth.

Cannotforgiveorforget · 28/08/2024 11:45

Of course YANBU. He is not the boss, or your parent making decisions for you.

Justcallmebebes · 28/08/2024 11:55

Surely if he left home and family to move to your home country, you can tolerate his parents once a year.

They're also your kids' grandparents and maybe they'd like to see the kids too. Yabu

Catza · 28/08/2024 12:02

I moved to the UK at 21 and missed out on a lot of time with my family, births, birthdays, weddings, surgeries, parties, family dinners... I would be mightily unimpressed if my partner objected to my family visiting. I see them only a few times a year and family is very important to me. I would also be quite pissed off if he "wasn’t pleased they had just invited themselves". They are family and are welcome any time for any reason. Just like his family would be.
You clearly expressed your feelings enough for your partner to have to resort to lying about their visit.

Hollowvoice · 28/08/2024 12:05

Why do you assume your partner is lying and not his Mum?

Blipette · 28/08/2024 14:45

Justcallmebebes · 28/08/2024 11:55

Surely if he left home and family to move to your home country, you can tolerate his parents once a year.

They're also your kids' grandparents and maybe they'd like to see the kids too. Yabu

They come and visit every few months, and I don’t object even though I have to run them around like a chauffeur. But Christmas is different, he doesn’t talk to my mum at all, But maybe I should invite her and say she just turned up

OP posts:
Blipette · 28/08/2024 14:47

Hollowvoice · 28/08/2024 12:05

Why do you assume your partner is lying and not his Mum?

Past behaviour mainly. But over more serious matters that nearly blew us apart.

OP posts:
Idontjetwashthefucker · 28/08/2024 14:48

Well he can do all the prep and cooking then can't he

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