To refuse to play along with imaginary friend

[ImConfusedHelp]

My DC (8) has decided they have an imaginary friend. I am sick to death of hearing “Marcus is hungry” (Marcus is the imaginary friend) or “Marcus wants to go to the park” or whatever other nonsense they come up with. I honestly don’t know what to do I’m sick of hearing about ‘Marcus’ and think 8 is far too old to have an imaginary friend. I’ve tried to explain to DC we all know Marcus isn’t real but they just start crying every time. AIBU to refuse to play along or even discuss ‘Marcus’ anymore?

I’d be wondering how this came about. How long as Marcus been on the scene? First thoughts are whether maybe they’ve been a bit lonely / bored over summer?

If it were me I’d just ignore it and refuse to engage and hope he goes away when they’re back at school. If not then i guess get some proper advice

Ahhhh Charlie and Lola. My dd loved that show when she was smaller!

YABU just let the child have the imaginary friends. It’s not hurting anyone. It’s typical child development

I'd play along. They're probably externalising a bit of themselves.

"oh is he hungry. I wonder if it's time for lunch/we've already had dinner but he could have a small snack - would he like toast"

"ah yes the park is a good idea, let's go/oh we can't go to the park today but maybe at the weekend"

Sometimes they can't for whatever reason voice their own thoughts and desires and it's less threatening to have their imaginary friend voice them.

You'll look back with fondness...

I had an imaginary friend til I was 10. He was a secret and he was a St Bernard lol

My eldest son had an imaginary friend with a whole imaginary family! There was the main guy. Then his brothers, parents, pets etc. We still talk about them all sometimes and DS is 14 🤣 I just smiled and nodded and occasionally expressed disgust at the imaginary friend's poor hygiene 😬

The imaginary friend didn't want to eat or go to the park though. I might have found that more irritating.

Could be a ghost he's made friends with.

Children do stuff that is boring and tedious but then they grow out of that stage.

DD had an imaginative game with developing storylines and characters that went on for years so I feel your pain. But whenever it was driving me bonkers, I used to tell myself that I would miss it when she stopped - and I did.

It seems unkind to tell your ds that he's too old to have an imaginary friend.

My youngest DC had imaginary friends who lived in their ear. They had a special name, something really odd, but I can't remember.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I would play along.. but make it clear that I'm not Markus' mum so if Markus wants a PlayStation or sweets he has to talk to his mum😉

Brilliant.

Oh you've just bought back lovely memories of my now adult DD and her imaginary friends...Oopsie and the Guys..(I never knew how many guys because it would change often).
It was a pain sometimes as I would get ready to drive away and she'd cry out that they didn't have their seatbelts on..or they didn't like peas etc...
I know it's annoying but I honestly don't know any adults with imaginary friends..it will stop soon enough..

At least your kid's imaginary friend isn't "Klaus the man with no skin". Hours of fun catering to Klaus when my daughter was that age.

It's just a phase, seems a bit mean to tell the kid their friend doesn't exist.

You do come over as being a bit mean about this OP.
It may be boring to you but it's obviously important to him.

She might then have an imaginary mum friend that she’s expected to arrange play dates with. I vote we call her Stella.

More seriously, I’d probably ask my kid how Marcus helps him. I’d be curious as to the reason behind the development of the imaginary friend. Perhaps you @ImConfusedHelp could suggest that they begin writing a diary or letters addressed to Marcus so you can get them into diary writing, which is supposed to be a helpful way of processing thoughts and feelings - it might replace chatting to them aloud.

I’ve tried to explain to DC we all know Marcus isn’t real but they just start crying every time.

That seems unnecessarily harsh - especially telling your child the second time or more (“every time”). For whatever reason, your child feels a need for Marcus, and Marcus seems to be an important fantasy. Some of my daughter’s old imaginary friends later evolved into fictional characters in stories she writes.

”We’re not eating until later, so Marcus can go home if he wants something.”

”Well, if Marcus wants to go to the park with you, he can wait until Friday.”

Suggest that Marcus wants to go to the Museum of Homework and Vegetables. I also hear he likes nice early bedtimes.

Marcus will seem like a godsend when she's 15 and with some loser. Indulge her and wait for her to speak up for herself. Marcus is just helping her find her voice.

You realise they’re a child right? Imaginary play is completely developmentally normal for that age. What are you hoping to achieve by shitting on your little child’s game they are enjoying and making them cry? Poor kid. Maybe they need an imaginary friend because they’re not getting friendship and compassion from their mum.

I think 8 is also a bit old for this, YANBU

Perhaps the reason you feel a bit fed up with Marcus is that in the past you have engaged a bit too enthusiastically with your DC's chum and accidentally made a rod for your own back? It must have been so charming at first and you probably felt quite pleased and proud? But now you find it wearing.

Rather than actively trying to scale back the whole Marcus thing, or tell your child he isn't real, could you just be much more minimal in your responses. Just say brief, boring things when DC talks about him, and then change the subject-- "That's nice, dear. Shall we go to the park now?" He's DC's friend, not yours. Let them play together as much as they want, but without any particular involvement from you. Then it doesn't really matter how much longer Marcus hangs around.

This is hilarious! What did Klaus do about sunscreen??

Seems a normal age to have an imaginary friend to me. Why does it annoy you so much?

I’ve had imaginary family all my life.