I don't get how people end up in relationships with people like this? And I don't just mean gaming, but golf, football, drinking, anything to excess!
It doesn't sound like your husbands gaming habit has gotten progressively worse @comfysofty , but that it's stayed consistent despite other things that should be taking up his time instead. How wasn't that a deal breaker when you moved in together, before you got married, before you had kids? I don't understand why people expect their partners to change just because kids are involved.
I love gaming. It's probably my main hobby. But I don't do it to the exclusion of other things. Even before DP, I had a busy social life outside of it. When we got together and had DD, Tuesday night became gaming night for me, (because Tuesday night was also Holby City and CSI night for DP. Ah, the days before On Demand). I'd find a couple of hours here and there at other times during the week, but I kept my gaming to a healthy level that didn't interfere with time spent as a family.
Ironically, about 5 years ago DP (who has never been interested in gaming) discovered Stardew Valley on our daughters Switch, and got absolutely hooked. Initially, I thought "Great, I can take myself off to the computer and game guilt free!". But it started being most nights, and I started missing DP and getting bored of spending all evening playing games, so we had a conversation and limited it to a couple of evenings a week. Had DP been that obsessed when we first moved in together, I'd have probably moved right back out again, because that's not a relationship.
When you first meet someone, they're on their best behaviour. If they're already ignoring you for the sake of a hobby then, then why would you expect them to be any different years later?