I’m in my 20s and have this friend that I’ve known since school. I suppose we were “close”, visiting each other’s homes, staying over, going travelling together, celebrating big events etc. But over the 10-15 years I’ve known her, I’ve gone back and forth between wanting to cut her off completely so was always conflicted about how I feel about her.
When we were teenagers, I’d have to cover her bill when we were out. She would literally go out with zero money and only when the bill arrived, would I discover I needed to cover her as well! Plus she wasn’t pleasant to be around, she was super critical of me and made me uncomfortable sometimes. I just didn’t reply to her messages as much and focused on my other friends.
When I was 18 I moved to London and went to university and had a part time job, she wanted to visited me. But again, couldn’t cover her own costs even though we agreed the places to go in advance so she was aware of menu costs etc. She begrudgingly split the cost of a taxi as I genuinely couldn’t pay, but acted put out.
When I stayed at her university town (once), it was a bit shit as she didn’t prepare much for me - there was no food in for example and nothing for us to do. She wanted me to do her makeup to take photos for social media. She had arguments with her flatmates so we couldn’t enter the kitchen! It was a bit odd. She always had friendship and relationship issues. I’d always support her but the friendship felt one sided.
Since then, we stayed in light touch and she generally became a nicer person once she graduated and got a job. She was just a normal friend at this point. However she often cancels plans last minute, so I distanced myself again as I felt all my previous resentment coming back.
Recently she got back in touch, I confided in her about a horrible situation I’m in. She initially gave me some support but since then, barely responds to my messages and hasn’t been there for me when I needed it. So I just feel again, why am I bothering? I just think too much has happened, or AIBU?